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Original poster

FTM - “I’m not ready!” feelings - 34+4

13 replies

sunshinecitrus1 · 28/06/2021 19:16

Hi Ladies,

The last few days and the closer I get to my due date, I keep having this “I’m not ready!” feeling and I feel scared. I am sure it is completely natural and normal to feel like this but I just wanted to see if there are any other ladies out there feeling like me at the moment? I am 34+4 and a FTM and just feeling a little overwhelmed. …Followed by guilt as I feel like I should be so excited to meet my little baby boy in a few weeks but the excitement that I have been feeling is getting taken over a little by fear!

I have spoken to my OH about this and he feels the same as me so it’s good we have each otherc we can relate to how each other feels etc.

I always thought I would be fearing child birth the most at this stage of my pregnancy but thankfully, I have been using Hypnobirthing that seems to be keeping those nerves at a calm level at the moment Smile Xx

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onanadventure · 28/06/2021 19:18

37+4 and I feel this.
Can't believe there's going to be an actual baby here soon.

troppibambini6 · 28/06/2021 19:22

Aah totally normal.... if it's any consolation when we pulled in to the hospital car park to be induced with my fourth I broke down and started sobbing. I refused to get out of the car as I would be coming home with a baby Grin
Dh thought I was a complete barmpot!

Icedteaplease · 28/06/2021 19:23

I remember in the weeks running up to giving birth I absolutely felt this. I also remember that at a random midwife appointment at 39 weeks they discovered my blood pressure was elevated and it was decided I'd need to be induced the following morning. I literally cried myself to sleep because I was so worried- not about giving birth but about how my life would change, the effect a baby would have on my relationship abd whether I was actually ready. Honestly, as soon as he was born all my fears melted away. He's 6 months old now and he is the absolute best thing that's ever happened to me, my relationship with my husband is better than ever and I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in my life. I've no idea what your experience will be like but I wish I could go back and tell pregnant me how great it's going to be and to stop worrying!

EdithGrantham · 28/06/2021 19:29

37 weeks today and the thought that I am now considered full-term is absolutely terrifying! I don't feel ready at all, not sure I have since I saw the positive pregnancy test to be honest but it's too late to do anything but "feel the fear and do it let it happen anyway"

Shmerlock · 28/06/2021 19:54

Yes to all of this - 37 + 3 weeks and I'm bricking it daily now at the thought of bringing home a baby!!! Obviously so, so grateful and excited to meet them - but terrified of what comes next. Doubting myself with the responsibility, panicking I won't be good enough and scared at the huge change that's about to take place in our lives. Spoken to partner and other parents and know this is all normal - doesn't make it any easier though!

Original poster
sunshinecitrus1 · 28/06/2021 22:47

Thanks for all of your replies! They have all made me feel so much better this evening knowing I am not alone in having these kind of worries! Flowers

Deep down, I know that what I’m feeling is completely normal, it’s just really hard at the time to acknowledge that when you’re feeling it!

I think I have found pregnancy surreal from the beginning in all honesty. At the moment Me and my OH are going about our day to day lives as normal. Almost like it isn’t happening, so it is so hard to picture a little baby being in this house soon!

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sarah13xx · 28/06/2021 23:21

I’m a week behind you and have just started really overthinking everything and making myself panic today. Properly had to go and calm myself down. It’s not even the looking after the baby part, for some reason I can’t really think about that fully.. maybe just because I don’t know what it will actually be like but I’m just worrying about all the practical stuff like coming home, visitors etc and what happens if I’m just feeling so overwhelmed by it all and want a few days in my jammies to have a cry 🙈 I’ve been so over organised with everything else that I think my eyes have adjusted to the fact there’s a room for him etc but I’m going to find it so strange when all of a sudden the countdown is finished and he’s actually here! My friends baby came at 34 weeks so I’ve felt like I should have everything sitting ready for this week 🙈

justsaymaybe · 28/06/2021 23:29

It's completely normal, it's a terrifying time in my opinion. Your life is about to change and there's no way to put it off once you're pregnant. I've had 3 and I never felt particularly excited when I was pregnant, more a feeling of "What the hell have I done?" Shock

I found it a really surreal time and even after they were born I never had the rush of love either, it was a gradual getting to know the baby for me.

But it's all good now, you'll be just fine.

Original poster
sunshinecitrus1 · 29/06/2021 12:47

@sarah13xx I can completely relate to being overly organised. I feel as prepared as I can be in the things I can control I think. It’s just the unknown isn’t it! As you say, it’s in the back of my mind now that things could happen at any point so it’s very scary! I keep telling myself that the fact we are worrying about these kinds of things already before our babies are here is a good thing as it shows we already care A LOT about that little person and the impact he/she will have on us Smile

@justsaymaybe Thanks for your reassuring words Flowers I did wonder whether this is just something you’d feel with your first baby as it’s all new but good to hear your story as it sounds like a normal trend of thoughts at this stage of pregnancy!

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Bunny2021 · 29/06/2021 13:20

FTM 36 weeks - I completely understand!

I was terrified about childbirth/labour etc but following NCT I feel weirdly a lot calmer about all that now - it's the what do we actually do when we get home?!

onanadventure · 30/06/2021 23:01

DH and I were saying this today.
It's weird to think that from 'anytime in the next few weeks' a baby is gonna show up and then BE HERE PERMENANTLY for like 20 years.

I'm also really apprehensive about mat leave.... (starting end of this week).

It's gonna be so weird to have time on my hands (before a baby shows up and I have no time).

TooStressyTooMessy · 30/06/2021 23:10

It’s so normal and so are the feelings that PP are describing! I felt completely like that with my first. I was ready to have the baby (was overdue!) but absolutely not ready to be a mum.

@justsaymaybe I felt I had to comment just to quote you:-
I found it a really surreal time and even after they were born I never had the rush of love either, it was a gradual getting to know the baby for me. I never felt the rush either with DC1. I was totally shell shocked after an exhausting labour. A gradual getting to know the baby is such a lovely way of putting it and is exactly what happened to me. Gradually we fell in love Smile.

Original poster
sunshinecitrus1 · 01/07/2021 11:38

It's so nice to hear that I am not alone in feeling this way! The last couple of days I have been very tearful and moody. Yesterday was a lot better and today I feel OK (although today is my last working day before I go on maternity leave so it feels a little weird!). I just think my hormones are playing havoc and when I spoke to my midwife about this yesterday, she said what I was feeling is completely normal.

It is a pretty surreal feeling all round, never expected to feel like this at this stage of pregnancy. Xx

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