4th Pregnancy and it's twins

[LWright]

I just got pregnant with what was supposed to be our 4th and last baby and it turns put we are having twins. I want to be excited, but I loved having one at a time and the quiet moments breastfeeding my babies. I feel like I will have none of that and it makes me really sad. I feel guilty for not being happier about this.

Anyone else relate?

Yes. A million percent. There is something very special about one on one especially in the v early stages.

Allow yourself to miss and be sad about that.

I hope other posters with sim experience will give you practical advice on how to cope and hopefully enjoy the experience.
My v close friend was pregnant at same time as my 4th and her 3rd and 4th -a total shock at first but she has coped amazingly and enjoyed! Went back to work, has a great lifestyle which she and husband have earned (as opposed to throwing money and help at problem -although zero judgement in those situations either)
My point is she had wanted 3. Didn't want to have to get massive car and have extra hotel rooms etc. Her two eldest have issues with learning so she already had a full plate.
She was very organised and did lots of research, and has made it work happily. They are great family.
Congratulations and hope you feel better about it asap

Congratulations! I should think you're in shock at the mo. I'm sure you'll feel better when you begin to get your head round it.

I have 5 month old twins and an older child and it's amazing (but we had multiple losses and lots of ivf to get here)! I can only really give experience based on having twins as for most ivf'ers having twins is the dream!

Compared to my Singleton pregnancy yes it was hard especially towards the end - practically on bed rest from 18 weeks, in and out (more in!) of hospital from 28 weeks and twins arrived early at 34 weeks so had several weeks in NICU which was hard to juggle with having an older child at home (in lockdown and home schooling!) needed a fair bit of support from DH and family

Yes they don't seem to "need" me as much as DD did - they shared a cot until recently so didn't want to co sleep like DD did, they aren't as "cuddly" like wanting to fall asleep on me but I think that could be due to their long NICU stay, they seem happiest when they are with/see each other. Obviously things like wearing a sling you can't do with 2 although I think you can get them so I do miss that bonding time when we are out and about? Mine though don't eat/sleep at the same time so I do get plenty of one on one time which I don't think would be any different for you All ready having a few children at home?

Having 3 children already presumably you already have a bigger car so that expense is out of the way abs honestly how many holidays are you really going to be going on where paying for additional hotel rooms is going to be an issue? Do more cottage/villa rentals thats our plan!

I'm loving everything about twins even the less needy bit - it actually helps as then I can spread myself across all 3 of my children without feeling too guilty - I would definitely have twins again if I could (I do have 2 more embryos left)!

Just give it time to sink in and you'll feel more excited.

Our 4th successful pregnancy (unplanned) resulted in fraternal twins. Twins are a hard pregnancy and exhausting in the early days post birth but they are extra special. I absolutely adore the twins as they have such a unique bond, it really is incredible to have twins. We had lots of double snuggles and I often fed them both together but they were on bottles not breast. Didn't put me off planning another, I thought it'd be twins again but just the one (was a little disappointed about that if I'm honest).

I have 2 month old twins. I think when you first find out you’re having twins there’s a bit of grieving period for the singleton pregnancy/birth/newborn stage you thought you were having.

As per previous posters, twin babies is a different parenting experience to a singleton. Unlike my first, mine are happy sleeping not on me, they’re generally “easier” babies so far. You can breastfeed both, it’s harder work (and unfortunately I couldn’t manage it long term) but some twin mums do manage it.

I was terribly anxious when I first found out but I couldn’t imagine life without both of them now. They truly are a blessing.

Honestly I found out I was expecting twins three weeks ago in a shock natural pregnancy between IVF cycles. I come from a family with a long history of twins (inc one still suffering the ill effects of TTTFS). my first question was are they in seperate sacs, please tell me they are (thankfully they were).

I was a little upset at first tbh...only getting one maternity leave for two babies, the extra work, the extra strain on my body esp as I already have health issues - the obs made it clear i will likely be in extreme pain towards the end and me giving birth naturally is gonna be pretty dam impossible.

But you learn to get around the worries and concerns - just give yourself some time to process it. It is a big deal and you'll start to realise all the great things too.

Good luck

The only thing more joyous than one baby, is two babies!!
Says I, mother of twins.
Not without its hurdles but really, you are blessed. Good luck.