Lockdown cat and a baby

[Help23]

My cat is a lockdown kitten and she follows me everywhere, we go to bed at night and wake up together in the morning. I didn't have plans to get pregnant when we got our kitten and have always treated her like a child. Anyway... now I'm pregnant and I'm petrified about 2 things:

1.) the cat sneaking into the baby's cot and accidentally smothering it
2.) the cat feeling depressed and lonely especially in the first 6 months

Our cat is natural and now we plan to let her have one litter before we spay her now - so we can keep one kitten and let her have some company / understood motherhood / be distracted milking herself at the same time. Making it easier to shut her downstairs and obviously out of baby's room without her feeling left out.

• Has anyone got any tips from experience for me of having a very spoilt cat and having a first baby?
• Are there any monitoring devices I can buy to give me some reassurance / peace of mind which check a baby's face is never covered etc.
• Are there any animal nets for by the side cots? I don't see how they work when you need to take the side down in the early days..

Awww she sounds lovely, I have one like this too, she's my shadow. She won't smother the baby. Cats don't need the company of other cats. I've got 4 and they tolerate each other, they're certainly not friends. I don't understand the stick you're getting for wanting her to have a litter. Where do people think their cats come from? Not everyone wants to adopt, and rescues place such stringent terms on adoptions not everyone can. Two of mine are rescues as adult cats, the other 2 I got as kittens from someone like you. As long as you're confident you can home them, and have the time and energy for a litter of mad fur balls tearing round your house for 8 weeks go for it.

don't understand the stick you're getting for wanting her to have a litter.

Please go and do some research then. Open you eyes. Nobody needs to be 'breeding' cats.

Is it a house cat?? If so let it out.

Cats are solitary animals and this behaviour increases as they get older and more independent. The key to avoiding boredom AND ensuring you're not utterly responsible for entertainment AND ensuring the car can avoid the noise of a baby / toddler is to allow her free access to the outside.

You're probably not all that happy that most of the responses here are focusing on your cat having kittens but they're right. PLEASE please please please educate yourself here about the huge problem of unwanted cats and kittens. Look up how many descendants your cat may end up having in just a few years time (no, you have absolutely no control over this even if you let them to go to 'good homes') - it'll shock you. I suspect that hormones may be contributing towards this romanticised view but honestly, listen to everyone here and bring yourself into the reality of that situation.

And in terms of what you actually wanted advice about, in my experience you'll get used to shooing the cat out of baby's room. Once baby is mobile enough to pull a tail the cat won't want to be anywhere near him/her.

I don't understand the stick you're getting for wanting her to have a litter

Probably because other posters clearly have a better idea about animal welfare than you.

long as you're confident you can home them, and have the time and energy for a litter of mad fur balls tearing round your house for 8 weeks go for it

Kittens need to stay with their mother for 12 weeks so this proves my point. Anyone rehoming kittens aged 8 weeks clearly hasn’t got a clue.

I agree with everyone else that you should stay your kitten as soon as she's old enough. Why would you want more kittens?

I got my two while pregnant and they were less than 1 when DS arrived. They didn't jump in his cot or smother him. And I let them continue to sleep in our room.

Be a responsible cat owner and have her spayed.

I have a 4 year old house cat and have previously posted on here about what she may be like once baby is born. I have just decided to wait and see what she's like once he's here as I won't be shutting her out of the bedroom.

In terms of kittens, my cat wasn't neutered however I didn't plan on breeding her and as she wasn't going outside it wasn't something I was in a rush to do - was worried about the surgery.
However since nearing my due date, I'm 31+5, I realised I could no longer deal with the noise she makes when in season and how her wailing would wake up the baby so I had her neutered on Wednesday. She's recovering but she's fine.

I absolutely love her to pieces and I'm glad I've had it done not only for me and baby but for her sake. Neutering prevents certain cancers and illnesses in the future and cats don't enjoy being in season.

@covidcloser

Our cat is natural and now we plan to let her have one litter before we spay her now - so we can keep one kitten and let her have some company / understood motherhood / be distracted milking herself at the same time

Oh for fucks sake.

1. Have your cat spayed
2. Have your cat spayed
3. Have your cat spayed

THIS 👌🏻 How ridiculous to allow a cat to have a litter - people have no idea...

Thank you for everyone who has provided sensible answers! Getting a cot in early and finding tricks to keep her away from it is a great idea. I'm also reassured that some people have managed without locking the cat downstairs.

(Not really too interested in random judgements or ranting from people who haven't had cats or even worse eat meat and dairy and then preach on about 'animal welfare'. Whilst talking about cats like they're nothing other than a pet which are here to be desexualised and sit as a house ornament..) There are lots of orphans and foster kids in the world too.. doesn't mean I'll harp on about how none of us should be having our own kids...

Just to clarify:
1.) She will be spayed afterwards
2.) I have already found loving homes for kittens with family - we are only keeping one ourselves if she forms a bond with one - her welfare is my priority right now
3.) If you've seen the situation recently - you'll realise due to covid a lot of people have taken pets - I worry about the situation after people return to normal but for now - there isn't a massive surplus of homeless cats in this country, it took me ages to find one when we were looking for her
4.) I'm not sending her outside, people are stealing pets, there are idiots putting rodent poisons in gardens etc. she has a habit of hiding in dangerous places.... We go for walks and play in the garden daily - but roaming the streets and roads is putting her life at risk
5.) forgot to mention we have two adult rooms so my husband and I will probably have cat with one of us baby with the other for a few months - we work different times and sleep separately anyway a lot so won't harm relationship to try that
6.) we have met and found a nice Tom cat and spent an afternoon with them to check we also had no welfare concerns etc
7.) she is 1 year and 3 months old which is a good and safe age for a litter
8.) I don't care how much hard work it might be for me, it's one baby and two cats in 2021 between two adults, I think we'll manage

I would have shared the same opinion about spaying cats a few years ago but in my husbands culture they don't believe in doing this as they feel it is against the animal rights so I did a lot of research and we agreed to let her have one litter and spay her after. As a vegan and someone who has grown up with cats my entire life - I have her welfare at the top of my priority.

Anyway! That's enough of that - will let you know how it goes with the tinfoil, cot, Feliway, baby and kittens in November :)

xx

Against animal rights not to force it to breed 😂 I’ve heard it all now.

Not force breeding. Cats don't allow the Tom cat anywhere near them sometimes (not all Queens actually choose to mate) and if she's not interested in him when she's on heat next then that's that. He's going to stay in our house for a couple of days and the Tom cats do not approach female cats that don't want them usually. We discussed this point with the girl who looks after him.

She doesn’t want to have a litter. You’re not letting her. You’re forcing her.
Tom cats will bite and attack females and force them.
Bringing an entire male into the house is a bad idea for so many reasons.

Spay the cat.
Get her used to being out of your bedroom.
Cat proof the garden so she can go out.

But definitely spay the cat.

You are being shockingly naive about this, a random Tom coming into her home/territory and indulging her in some gentle love-making to enable her to fulfill a maternal instinct…. You’re deluded.

Have fun having an unneutered Tom cat living in your house for a few days. Hope he doesn’t stink the place out too much.

Your cat will be healthier if she is spayed before having a litter, spaying reduces the hormones that can cause cancers in later life, so if you do care about animal welfare then have that as a consideration.

Not all cats like parenthood! My last cat , adopted from the vets where she was dumped, refused to have her kittens in the same basket, she would move them out if they were put in there, she was very reluctant to let them suckle, the fosterer had to more or less hand rear them.

Please do reconsider your decision, and also ask your friends with the unneutered Tom to get him sorted too, they are being very irresponsible, if he gets out ( I am assuming he is a house cat) he could be responsible for quite a few litters from idiots who let their entire females out either deliberately or from ignorance , not to mention the chances of him being injured in fights with other cats, or being knocked down rushing across a road following his lust!

I'd strongly suggest you actually do some research into feline breeding before you jump in feet first.
You seem to have this rose tinted glasses view on what you WANT to happen.
But it wont be like that at all.
Locking an un-neutered male cat in your house is a recipe for disaster.
It isnt a beautiful experience. Cats mating is brutal. Its loud, aggressive and can be very spiteful, sometimes even leading to injury.
Your cat isnt signing up for that.

You need to start treating your cat like a cat, not a play thing you have control over and dictate a life to. Cats are incredibly intelligent and independant. They are also solitary creatures and dont often want companions.

Play with your cat, give it environmental enrichment, build a catio so it is safe to go outside. Just dont inflict an unwanted litter of kittens on it. Just because it cant say no to you, doesnt mean it is right to make it breed.

Maybe you should just spay her and let her lead her life as a cat and then focus on your pregnancy.
Dont inflict breeding on an animal who cant say no.

I'm sorry you feel this way and really hope you have taken up the suggestion of looking for advice on thecatsite.com (and if you do breed from her there are experts there who will give lots of very helpful advice)
My advice not to breed is from the experience of adopting a pregnant cat. The kittens were gorgeous, but i feel guilt that the people who took her kittens may have chosen rescues instead. I kept the kittens until after 12 weeks, as is recommended for their social skills, and on advice from a very experienced vets, who neuters for rescue homes too, had the kittens neutered at 11/12 weeks, between vaccinations. It was very noticeable that they had a much easier time of it being sprayed that young compared to their mother, and absolutely bounced back from it. Mum took a couple of days to be herself.

Kittens really can be a lot of work. One of mine was born with a leg deformity, which with the help of the vet and intensive physio we cured it. If the litter is large or mum has issues you may need to hand feed them every 2hr, in the early days. I kept one kitten and mum seemed very close to him for 6 months, but now she will just about tolerate him and hisses and bashes him occasionally.

You say your husband is from a culture that doesn't think it is right to spay/neuter, so will these kittens go to family members who think the same way and mean even more kittens?
You obviously care about animals so if
you would like the experience of kittens many rescues use foster carers, so kittens get properly socialised before rehoming, so you could look into that as an option (and possible to do with existing cat in the house) and maybe one of these could stay on with you, as a second cat.

All the best with your baby and from the helpful advice here, doesn't sound too much of a problem keeping cat from baby. This has been useful fot me as well, as I'm expecting later this year and want to make sure my cats adjust well to the baby.

This has to be bait.

As a vegan and someone who has grown up with cats my entire life - I have her welfare at the top of my priority.

You really dont. What on earth are you thinking?

Based on your recent update I am even more confident that you don’t know what you are talking about.

You think we don’t have a problem with homeless cats in this country because YOU personally couldn’t find one
Have you listened to the pps that have explained why it’s important to spay your cat? Because they appear to know a lot more about it than you do (hint - it’s not just about reducing litters)

You haven’t got a clue and probably shouldn’t have a cat in the first place.

And not that this should make any difference - I’m a vegan that used to work for an animal welfare charity and volunteer with a cat rescue. People like you are part of the problem.

@MM1993 ignoring the madness in this thread, but interested to read that you’ve decided not to shut yours out. I have two house cats and one in particular is extremely needy. If I shut them out of a room the needy one will cry constantly and the other one will just open the door by jumping up at the handles. I know it’s our fault for always letting them sleep in the bedroom but it’s just what they’re used to now, and we never saw a need to shut them out.

Ultimately, it’s their house too so I fear that if we change what they are/aren’t allowed to do when baby comes then I worry what that will do for their well-being.

They’re both extremely gentle. I know we will need to monitor how they are with baby and react accordingly but right now I’m thinking I would like to continue letting them sleep in the room with us.

[quote glasspaw]@MM1993 ignoring the madness in this thread, but interested to read that you’ve decided not to shut yours out. I have two house cats and one in particular is extremely needy. If I shut them out of a room the needy one will cry constantly and the other one will just open the door by jumping up at the handles. I know it’s our fault for always letting them sleep in the bedroom but it’s just what they’re used to now, and we never saw a need to shut them out.

Ultimately, it’s their house too so I fear that if we change what they are/aren’t allowed to do when baby comes then I worry what that will do for their well-being.

They’re both extremely gentle. I know we will need to monitor how they are with baby and react accordingly but right now I’m thinking I would like to continue letting them sleep in the room with us.[/quote]
One of my house cats is very needy. When I came home with the baby she went straight to her and hissed at her. It was really upsetting and we had to make sure the cat was kept away from the baby for a while.
OP has a very bizarre romanticised view that her and the cat are going to have some sort of motherhood bonding moment

Spay the cat.

@glasspaw - I know how you feel, the noise she makes if I ever shut her out is awful. I've made the decision that I don't think it's fair to her to do that especially before I know how she will behave. She may be absolutely fine with baby, I won't know that until he's here.

Her whole life it's pretty much been me and her, I'm trying not to disrupt her life any more than I have too - the baby will be a big enough shock to the system for her, I also need to make sure she gets just as much love and attention as before especially since I've been WFH since the start or pregnancy so I'm always here with her. She's pretty much been my shadow since I got her, which like you, I know is my fault however it's what we've become used to - so we'll see what happens!