I just found out I'm pregnant and need advice

[sas94]

Hi everyone,

I just found out I'm 8 weeks pregnant. I'm really confused and not sure what to do. I've been really careful with contraception but as you know accidents can happen.

I really don't want to have a termination as I have had one a few years ago and I really regretted my decision as I was young and just didn't know what to do. However, I just don't know if I'm ready yet and I have no idea where to even begin with babies, I would be totally lost in that aspect. I have no mummy friends to ask either.

My partner is supportive, but unfortunately lost his job during covid but is trying to find another one. We live with my nan, and I'm not sure where we would live once the baby would come and I have no idea what I would do in terms of trying to find somewhere to live with barely any money. I live in London so it's quite expensive.

I also just got offered a promotion at work (but haven't received my contract yet) so I'm not sure what I would do in that sense and whether I would get maternity pay or just have to leave the job.

Please bare in mind I am really nervous about this whole situation, I know I made a mistake in not being more careful.

Any advice would be really appreciated, especially if anyone's been in the same situation as me.

Thanks in advance.

Hi @sas94 congratulations! Just to give my advice, I agree with people you will figure things out. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but somehow it does work out. What I would say is try not to buy into the idea that you need lots of new, expensive items/clothes etc given your financial situation. Your baby doesn't know or care if they're in a fancy new mega expensive pram or a gumtree one.. there is a lot of pressure nowadays I think to have a perfect nursery, house, clothes etc. Great to have all that but the most important things for your baby are love, cuddles, feeds, someone that's there for him/her. You would have the baby with you in your room for quite a while anyway which is the recommendation (can't remember exact number of months?). I was also thinking what's very important is support. Having a great partner is a great start. Seen as you live with your Nan - would she be able to support you as well or is she too old for that? If she's young enough it might not even be so bad to continue living with her for a while if she's a supportive person - she can help with cuddling the baby, washing/cooking, watch baby whilst you get a nap... wishing you lots and lots of luck x

Hello,everyone!

I found out I am pregnant 🤰🏼 back in January.

I knew this man for a 2 months and fell pregnant (this is my third,first one for him),it was a shock,and now I am almost 29 weeks pregnant with a little girl and everything is well ❤️☺️

Congratulations with the baby and I must say-keep the baby and you will see things will change for a better definitely ☺️

@SATCfan

Hi *@sas94* congratulations! Just to give my advice, I agree with people you will figure things out. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but somehow it does work out. What I would say is try not to buy into the idea that you need lots of new, expensive items/clothes etc given your financial situation. Your baby doesn't know or care if they're in a fancy new mega expensive pram or a gumtree one.. there is a lot of pressure nowadays I think to have a perfect nursery, house, clothes etc. Great to have all that but the most important things for your baby are love, cuddles, feeds, someone that's there for him/her. You would have the baby with you in your room for quite a while anyway which is the recommendation (can't remember exact number of months?). I was also thinking what's very important is support. Having a great partner is a great start. Seen as you live with your Nan - would she be able to support you as well or is she too old for that? If she's young enough it might not even be so bad to continue living with her for a while if she's a supportive person - she can help with cuddling the baby, washing/cooking, watch baby whilst you get a nap... wishing you lots and lots of luck x

Hi thank you for this. My mum had me very young and she managed without buying super expensive stuff. I don't remember stuff like having a new pram, but I remember being loved which is more important I think. My nan is young enough, she helped raise me and I am very close to her im sure she would help support me in any way possible she can. Xxx

@Krista1991

Hello,everyone!

I found out I am pregnant 🤰🏼 back in January.

I knew this man for a 2 months and fell pregnant (this is my third,first one for him),it was a shock,and now I am almost 29 weeks pregnant with a little girl and everything is well ❤️☺️

Congratulations with the baby and I must say-keep the baby and you will see things will change for a better definitely ☺️

Congratulations!!, ❤️ wishing you happiness and love xx

I am happy for you, no matter what you choose!

I think you have a little time to figure it out. I don’t think anyone ever feels “ready” to have a baby, but a lot of folks just reprioritize and make aggressive plans to get into higher paying jobs, more affordable living situations, or whatever.

I also think that once you’re expecting, let’s say if you join a mum’s class with other pregnant women, you will definitely make friends who are going through exactly what you’re going through.

At the same time, I think it’s really up to you. My last pregnancy ended in MC, but I remember thinking at the beginning that something would be wrong/unhealthy, and wanting to terminate. I have no regrets, but now I do feel like, “well I could have saved myself some trouble.” Termination and all other pregnancy loss is tragic, but I don’t think having a baby is bliss, either.

Find a good friend to talk it out with. Go for some long walks by yourself. Connect with your partner. You’ll know what’s right for you, in time.

Your employer claims the maternity pay back from the government, so yes it is legal requirement for you to get statutory maternity pay! It’s about £152 per week x