Reactions to telling people you’re pregnant

[mummatosquish]

First off- I’m 21- I know it’s young, and it wasn’t planned but we are financially secure and everything happens for a reason, right? Anyway, I’m assuming my age is a huge factor in people’s reactions, but I’ve told everyone I work with (15 or so people); one person said congratulations, the rest have said something along the lines of “was it planned?” “Is this what you want?” “Are you sure you’re ready?” “Have you considered all your options and thought everything through?” Etc. Although they have all said the support and respect my decision. Why do people react like this- do they think I’m too young or do you think it’s the fact a 21 year old is having sex (maybe before marriage is a factor?). I don’t know.

When you hear pregnancy announcements, do you automatically think “oh they had sex” because again, a couple peoples first reactions have been “well the two of you have been busy” or “didn’t you use protection?”

Any insights would be amazing at this point

we had 7 kids (plus a MC so 8pg announcements in total) and you'd probably cry at some of the crap I had to put up with. I did.

I don't think anything. I just wish people a healthy baby, lovely pg, safe& quick birth.

Congratulations OP!

What you're getting is a reaction- no one has had time to prepare themselves, and their response will be coloured by whatever is going on for them in their lives.

You can either grow a thicker skin or become a manipulative cow and get good at presenting things so as to get your desired response, e.g. email round the office, "Cakes in the kitchen to celebrate my exciting news- DP and I are expecting our first baby and our absolutely over the moon! Please help yourself before the cravings take over and I devour the lot!"

I was asked similar questions and I'm 32 and living with my dp 🤣🤣 some people just want to make sure you are happy about it before they say anything and others are just judgemental or nosy.

It’s not you OP. People just blurt stuff out.

We’re both 31, we’ve been together for 11 years and married for 6 years. We’ve both got secure jobs that we’ve been in for years. We’ve got our house. We’ve got two dogs. When we bought a new car 18 months ago, we went from a 3 door, small car to an estate. Everyone was surprised and several people have asked if it was planned. Including my mum.

I’ve not told work yet mostly because I’m expecting the comments along the lines of “well, we know what you’ve been doing while working from home” because couples working out of the home full time before the pandemic never had children

Congratulations. I think they say it because it's outside the norm. Usual is around 30 nowadays.

Don't feel you have to answer the intrusive questions. I have twins and people ask me if they were IVF and I say no, they were made by us having sex. Find a funny answer.

Best of luck with everything.

I'm 31, husband is 34, been married for 3 years and we bought a big house last year. We told our parents at the weekend and both my mum and my father in law asked if it was planned. They were also over the moon and it wasn't their first reaction. I think people are just nosey.

I was asked 21 questions by my 38 year old brother who still lives at home with mummy!
I’m 28, married, already have an 8 year old and he was asking me… did you want another one?
Was it planned?
How does (partners name) feel about this?
What do you want? (Sex of baby)

Honestly! I hardly ever even see him, once in a blue moon.. he sometimes plays golf with my husband that’s it. I wish I’d never told him honestly.

I told people recently after my 20w scan (where incidentally I found out I'm having another boy), and more than one person has said "oh that's a shame. You can always try again!" I can't imagine ever reacting to a pregnancy announcement with "that's a shame" but there you go! People are weird.

I was 36 with my first, in a loving committed relationship and perfectly solvent and many people at work (often ones I only knew vaguely on sight) still went "Oh...was it planned?" when they saw my bump, rather than the ONLY acceptable "Congratulations".

Oh, let me share the intimate details of my sex life and family ambitions with you, relative stranger. Perhaps I could also do an impromptu power-point presentation on my ovulation cycle, psychological well being, and proposed future additions to my family whilst we're here passing in the corridor, the natural place for all heart-to-hearts with new-found confidants?

I genuinely wonder whether people who make these comments think they are the only ones brave enough to ask the hard questions, giving you (the troubled ingenue) your only outlet for confessing your heartbreak and confusion, whilst all the sheeple blithely parrot off their congratulations.

I was 41 with my second and had obviously perfected my "resting fuck-off face" as no one dared make any comments.