Early pregnancy anxiety - how to stop POAS?

[RdEmTTC]

Hi everyone

To give a bit of back ground last week I got my BFP after ttcing for a while after having a MMC back in October (I found out at10 weeks)

me and my partner as so happy but so scared at the same time due to what happened during out last pregnancy, and POAS seems to be the only thing keeping me semi sane!

Does anyone have any advice on how to relax and get out of this mind set? We had an early scan at 6 weeks with our last pregnancy, but when we went back at 10 weeks that's where we got our devastating news. Me and my partner don't want to do an early scan again as we are keeping our guard up this time just in case things don't work out

I want to be able to enjoy this journey but my anxiety about miscarriage is making it really difficult 😥

Well practical advice would be to throw them all away and not buy any more! But if it was that simple I guess you wouldn't be asking :)

Can you focus on something else instead? Hobby/project/fitness etc? See it as a positive way to count down the weeks kind of thing?

You have to find a way to stop actively worrying - just deliberately think of something else/ do something to occupy yourself, whenever you start worrying about it. The trouble is that it isn't necessarily just that you'll worry until the 12 week scan and then everything will be hunky dory. If you're in the mindset of worrying, you'll then just start worrying about second trimester miscarriage, and then irregular movements, and then stillbirth, and then SIDS, and then them having an accident at school... It never stops! Put mechanisms to deal with it in place now, and practise them. You can do it!

Sorry to hear about your loss.

I'm newly pregnant after multiple miscarriages and like you, most of mine were discovered on scan.

Some days are harder than others but I'm finding that keeping busy is helping massively and telling myself that worrying isn't going to change the outcome and that I'm already doing everything I can.

I bought myself a pack of 2 CB digi tests and did one on Friday so I've told myself I'll do the other this Friday and that will be the end of it!

I have booked an early scan though. We deliberated about it because like you, we saw a heartbeat then 2 weeks later it wasn't there so I wondered if there was any point but in the end I decided the wait would drive me cuckoo otherwise and that it's helpful at least to rule out ectopic / complete molar / blighted ovum etc etc.

Good luck - I hope first trimester passes quickly and smoothly for you.

Can you book an early scan in a couple of weeks? This could be your focus point and you don't test after that. For now can you test every other day or every 3 days until a scan? Once you've had a scan set some small milestones:

• Booking in appointment
• 10 weeks pregnant
• 12 weeks (End of 1st trimester) etc.