Is it strange to want an elective c section?

[CopperCloud]

Currently 24 weeks with my first baby.

The majority of people I know have had horrendous labours that went on for hours and resulted in an emergency c section. I feel I don't have it in me to go in expecting a normal labour and end up with a c section at the end anyway, so I'm unsure if it's worth talking to my midwife to see if I can have an elective? Of course I'm scared of the pain that I'd face during labour but at the minute I'm worrying more about what would feel like wasting time it that makes any sense at all?

I also have a high bmi so feel that a c section is more likely for me to have anyway?

I was and am totally terrified of the idea of having a c-section. It's the idea of someone cutting me open that terrifies me.
So I do find it strange personally, but I know that not everyone thinks like me...

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it's an informed decision.

I think spending too much time on sites like this can sometimes fuel your fear of something going wrong...(for all modes of birth). People share their negative experiences more..

Fwiw @lalalapurple I don't think that's strange either 😂 I mean I guess I didn't relish the idea of a c-section but it was about a billion times preferable to a vaginal delivery for me. But I totally get why other women feel differently.

I think the all women should be to be supportive of other women being able to have the birth they want. And being able to make informed decisions. I actually think Mumsnet can be helpful if you look at things in a balanced way. I'd say people do actually share positive stories as well as the negatives so you really do get to see a range of experiences for both vaginal and c-section births. But it's good to look at stats and actual risks/pros/cons etc, and make a decision on which are most acceptable to you as an individual.

Definitely talk about it.

As I understand it, elective section is higher risk than a straightforward low risk vaginal birth.

But the complications relating to emergency c-sections are higher risk/frequency than those relating to an elective. So if there is a high chance that you might have a c-section anyway, it makes sense to consider just starting out with one.

Whether or not you are high risk for EMCS, or it's just your perception based on people you know, I can't tell you - but your midwife should be able to have that discussion with you or refer you to a consultant who can.

You can also then include the risks relating to a long, drawn out, painful labour (trauma, exhaustion, pain, vaginal injury etc) which are not normally included in these statistical comparisons, because you'll be talking to somebody who knows your actual circumstances and medical history.

With all of this then you'll be able to make an informed decision anyway.

Only you can look at the statistics, please do this, and then come up with the right decision for you. My EMCS left me very ill and with spesis, my kidneys were starting to fail. I fought hard to get support to have a VBAC the second time and recovery was so much easier and honestly for me it was over all less painful.

@LordOfTheOnionRings
It's only strange to want an elective c section when you're not pregnant

❤️

Go with what feels right for you. I had a crap vaginal delivery with forceps, my episiotomy scar opened up, I had post-partum haemorrhage and basically don't remember the first three months of my baby's life because I was so poorly. It was terribly traumatic and I still feel upset about it. I wish I'd had a section. But equally, I'm sure that some people had a section and the wound became infected, they were in pain for several weeks and got horrible scar tissue.

It seems to me that birth is often (not always, but often) totally shit, so do whatever you need to do to make yourself more comfortable with the prospect.

After going through days of induction processes including painful and invasive experiences to get into labour for hours and for it to end up in an emergency c-section I’m definitely with you OP. The annoying thing is that I thought earlier in the process of asking for it and could have cut out so much pain.

I guess though that people experience pain differently. I really don’t mind the healing process with scars. It’s just over 24 hrs since my c-section and while it’s a little sore when bending it’s not uncomfortable at all. Whereas I was screaming when I’m labour I was in so much pain.

Obviously I’m biased due to my experience and there are pluses and minuses to both including long term for baby and woman but I think elective caesareans should be brought as an option especially if induction is going nowhere, whereas it still feels like something you have to push for and bring up.

@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind I’m having an elective based on PTSD following CSA. My trust is on the red list for ELCS so I thought I was going to have a serious fight to get what I need but as soon as I mentioned my history it counts as medical need as mental health ticks that box.

There is no way I could give birth vaginally, the trauma would be too much and if I needed to have intervention I would be beside myself. I had to work with my therapist for over a year to prepare for this pregnancy.

@Anon08 what do you mean by red list? Is this available online somewhere? Xx

I think it's really important that you feel happy with whatever decision you make.

Labour can feel frightening because it's the unknown, but I would encourage you to ask friends for positive labour stories... there are thousands out there! Some people just love to share the gory details/people more often talk about what went wrong vs what went right.

With my first, I woke up in the night with mild contractions - I napped between them and managed with just breathing through them. When we got up for the day, they seemed to go away, so I took the dogs for a walk, went to do my horses and then spent the day at my parents house. They came and went a little bit - more intense, but very spaced out - and manageable through breathing. (Did scare some dog walkers I think!!)
Had an afternoon nap and then they ramped up a bit. Popped to the hospital at 8pm, who checked me and said I was 1cm, go home and they'd see me soon they were sure. I went to bed and slept a little, woke up at 1am and they were fairly serious by that point. By 3am, I rang the hospital, who said to give it another hour. I went in at 4.30am, when I was 4cm and moved to a birthing suite.

I got given gas and air and spent the next few hours using that and the TENS machine, whilst moving around the room. The midwife checked me at 6am and said she thought when my waters broke, I would progress fairly quickly... and if they didn't break by 9am, they would break them. I carried on and by about 8am, I was struggling a little. They gave me some pethidine, which knocked me right out. I slept for an hour - no memory of it at all! When I woke, I was getting quite a lot of rectal pressure, which they explained was my waters against my bum. I kept sitting on the loo thinking I needed a poo... and then pop, my waters burst. They got me on the bed to check me and told me it wasn't far off now. Then suddenly, it was time to push and baby was delivered at 11.48.
I had some 2nd degree tearing, but I wouldn't have known - the midwife stitched them up and they mended absolutely fine. They didn't cause me any bother.

I just tell you this in case it reassures you that birth can be fine! For me, the idea of being stuck not being able to lift the baby easily, not being able to drive, having to self inject blood thinners, recover from major surgery/wounds to deal with, whilst also trying to do the school run and look after a little baby fills me with more dread and fear than labour, but we are all different :-)

[quote Cafeaulait27]@Anon08 what do you mean by red list? Is this available online somewhere? Xx[/quote]
It’s on the birthrights website. Trusts are classified red / amber / green on their policies for ELCS.

I don't think this is strange. I had an ELCS recently for similar reasons: "I feel I don't have it in me to go in expecting a normal labour and end up with a c section at the end anyway." I was "allowed" an ELCS as I'd had an EMCS previously. I was intending to have a VBAC but I went into labour while my dad was in hospital dying from cancer. I felt it would be extremely damaging for my mental health to have a failed VBAC and an EMCS, as I needed above everything else to have a calm and safe delivery. No one could guarantee me that with a VBAC so I opted for an ELCS, which was much more predictable. Everyone was universally supportive about my choice and I felt respected and empowered to make it. I didn't make the choice lightly and I doubt you will either. I have no shame in choosing it.

I am a Dr and considered a ELCS for my first, would have requested it very quickly for any reason. I had a straightforward vaginal birth (story similar to SillyBry). For my second I really wanted another vaginal birth and would have prefered that even if the baby had been breech or in a twin pregnancy. In the event she was born after a 3 hour labour, home 3 hours after that.

It is a gamble but vaginal birth can be really uncomplicated and recovery very quick.

I don't find it strange, I never wanted a vaginal birth. My first baby was breech and I was quietly glad. My second I felt pressured into a VBAC and had a bad experience. I had ELCS for my third.

I was terrified of a c section. The friends I saw having them were really poorly for ages which isn’t ideal when caring for a newborn and most likely very little sleep. If there is a good chance you could have a natural birth I don’t understand not trying. We went out for dinner on my due date then came home and waters went at midnight contractions started at 3am and he was born by 6am. For some reason people always want to share the scary birth stories there are an awful lot of good ones too. Yes it was painful as no chance for pain relief but equally the pain stopped as soon as I gave birth. I gave my baby a cuddle then passed him to his father while I showered and dressed and we were home a few hours later. The next day we walked into town and in a couple of shops and in the first week we went out to lunch 3 times. With a c section you would have been lucky to make it downstairs that number of times let alone out the door. At 3 weeks we took him on holiday on a plane, I had stopped bleeding and was back to having sex with my husband (my choice). The recovery is so much easier if you can give birth naturally.

@ForgedInFire same, I’ve never really wanted a vaginal birth

Nope. I had a horrible first birth and said right from the get go that my second would be ELCS. Luckily I was allowed one on medical grounds (due to the first one!) but even if not I would have insisted upon it.

My ELCS was lovely. Calm, controlled, over and done with quickly and the recovery was fine - and way, way easier than recovery after a horrendous instrumental birth even with a toddler and newborn to look after!

@Anon08 I'm glad you didn't encounter problems.

I wonder how it will be recorded on your notes (I'm not sure if you'll have to wait until after the birth). Despite being diagnosed with tokophobia (most serious case in 30 years of practising, according to my consultant), mine were recorded as maternal request ELCS. I have a vague memory of him scrawling this all over my notes when I was pregnant. Can't remember now- it was 9 years ago. But I think both of mine were recorded as maternal request. Which in a way is inaccurate and makes their figures misleading- I didn't choose one because I just fancied it!

Good luck with yours anyway x

I also wanted to comment about my own personal experiences of ELCS recovery, as there a a fair few comments on the thread along these lines: 'The recovery is so much easier if you can give birth naturally'.

I actually think it's incorrect to frame it as a definite that recovery from a natural birth is so much easier. It's just not the case at all- of course the recovery from natural birth can be very easy- it can also be fucking horrendous. Many, many threads on MN illustrate this. And the same goes for ELCS. I'll say one thing- I'm fairly confident that most of the time, a recovery from an ELCS is likely to be better than an EMCS.

My own experiences of ELCS were very good. No problems of picking up baby. No problems looking after my toddler after the second section. After the op I was in pain but it wasn't unmanageable. Morphine drip worked wonders and managed fine on paracetamol and ibuprofen from day 2. No issues with scar healing or infection. Probably took me a couple of days before feeling reasonably ok. At two weeks post section I was feeling good. A couple of months post section I felt entirely back to normal, probably sooner than this actually. I know some women feel normal very quickly after a VB but a VB would have been disastrous for my mental health so a slightly slower recovery was absolutely fine to me. I definitely got to a point of feeling comfortable, in no real pain, with no difficulties in looking after baby within a couple of days. I made excellent recoveries with no ongoing health problems. Was able to breastfeed both babies too.

For me, I'd definitely choose a slightly longer full recovery, over the risk of not having a straightforward VB- with the risk of ongoing pain and problems and possible incontinence and future health problems. But that is just me and my thoughts, and my own experience.

I've always been terrified too and just couldn't handle the fear of the unknown, the chaos, the birth injuries etc.. I had two requested sections and have absolutely zero regrets.