Post birth recovery - grade 3b tear amongst other things!

[Melly1801]

Hello ladies,

I’d really appreciate some advice / positive stories re recovering from a grade 3b tear. Specifically:

• how long did it take for you to feel more normal? I don’t mean being able to run 5k (not that I could do that before anyway) but just being able to sit down without flinching would be nice
• when did you start to feel your pelvic floor? I was advised to do the exercises to help but I can’t actually feel if I’m doing anything and it’s all still very sore. Not sure if this is normal?
• any tips on what helped relieve the pain / speed up recovery?

The birth was fairly traumatic so I’m not feeling great about it all, and the tear in particular is making me feel rather down about it all and it’s something I’m embarrassed to mention to people when discussing the birth / recovery 😞 so I’d really appreciate any advice or positive recovery stories, I can be quite anxious anyway so I’m really trying not to read stories online about it because I don’t want to think I’ll never be normal again or about what could still go wrong.

Thanks a lot xxx

I had an episiotomy (Totally different I realised and hopefully someone can post who has more experience than me) it took 6 months to feel back to normal, the exact same time as the cs scar I have for my previous child. I was told to take painkillers by the midwives, in no way did I expect it to be the same as cs just in different place. I found the stitches very painful when sitting for a few weeks, I have no idea if it all held together because I didn't look.
You can get a referral to a woman health physio who are great. Speak to your midwives and GP as they are there to help.
Hope it improves soon

I had a 3b tear 5 years ago. I don't remember the specifics but I healed well. After about 2 weeks I felt a generally better and recovery then continued over the next few months, so that all was completely fine by 6-8m. I saw a physio too, although in my case I probably didn't need it. I had another baby vaginally 3 years later and all was fine.

I found the emotional aspect harder than the physical for me. I was advised to eat healthily etc afterwards to help recovery. How long ago did you give birth?

Hi I had a 3c tear with my daughter and I know how scary it can be not knowing how it will affect you. I actually don’t have any on-going symptoms from the tear but have been advised to have a c-section if I have another child as the muscles did not fully repair.

It took about 4/5 months before I felt more normal in myself down there. I had physio appointments where she checked the pelvic muscles and gave me exercises to do. My pelvic floor was actually not in bad shape and I could feel the muscles contracting but I definitely got stronger as time went on. For maybe the few days after birth I felt very little when doing the exercises though.

I would say keep doing the exercises, see a physio if you haven’t already and get a follow up with the doctor to check how everything has healed.

Wishing you a good recovery xx

Thanks so much for your replies already 😊 @BendingSpoons @Itllbeaninterestingchristmas @Elementarymydearr

Sorry I should have said - I only gave birth on Monday, so it’s not been long at all so I know I’m probably feeling normal emotions but x100 because of the traumatic birth!

I had an episiotomy and it was very sore for the first 2 weeks, sore but manageable until 4 weeks and was healed by 6.

Pelvic floor took a while longer and it’s definitely odd to not be able to feel it.

It’s an emotional whirlwind, so try and relaxing

I found cool baths with lavender oil (mix 10 drops of lavender with a small amount of milk then pour into the bath) and soak for 10 minutes. Absolute life saver! Also, stool softeners to keep constipation and too much pressure at bay.

It does get better, I promise. But it does take time.

Congratulations x

I had a third degree tear. It took a few weeks to feel 'heeled' then a few more weeks to not feel like my insides would fall out if I walked too far.

I had my second child 2 years later and didn't tear at all. I was impressed with how well it had heeled

Ahh then it makes total sense that your pelvic muscles are still recovering, give yourself time! You will very very likely be totally fine in a few months or sooner!

I remember googling all the information out there about tears when it happened while juggling a newborn after a traumatic birth. It was HARD. But you will make it through and it will get better.

Give it another week and you will likely be feeling much better than now. Your body will still be swollen from the actual tear. Once that has reduced, you will get a better sense of how your pelvic floor is responding. Things will only improve, so if you aren't suffering particular issues now, there is no reason why you will start to later.

Are you breastfeeding? I found feeding lying down or reclined back was good to reduce sitting time.

Bless you, hope you are feeling ok, op.
I had 2 3c tears. The first one was fine and healed well and I stopped thinking about it after 4-5 weeks. The second one took much longer to heal and I was feeling quite sore for about 3 months. Stitches took a while to come out and I winced quite a lot sitting down and washing etc. 8 months in and all fine. Have to practice with pelvic floor daily though (had an accident on tampoline that I would rather not repeat!)

I had two tears, one was labial and one was second degree, I also had an episiotomy. Everything was very sore for 2/3 weeks. Hurt to sit down, walk etc. I found sitting on a travel pillow helped (you know the kind that goes round your neck?) and also epsom salt baths helped hugely with healing and pain relief (and were relaxing!) I felt pretty much back to normal by about 8 weeks pp. No lasting damage for me, I'm surprised at how well everything healed.

Hi, I had an episiotomy and then a 3b tear a couple of years back.

The feeling in the pelvic floor came back within weeks.

It took a couple of months to be able to sit comfortably.

My tips would be:

• manage your stool softeners well,
• sprits for bits and the instant freeze maternity pads were brilliant,
• do your pelvic floor exercises as soon as you feel able and stay on top of them, and,
• get all the support from the consultant you can.

If you need it, your midwives should offer a birth debrief session, to help process your labour and delivery.

Best wishes

Thanks everyone, you’ve made me feel more hopeful. Sorry I should’ve included more details but I also had an episiotomy too so perhaps am double sore from that.

@youaresunshine @Twizbe @Biscoffin the insides falling out is exactly what it feels like, I couldn’t think of a way to describe it! Can I ask you ladies, is it normal to not have control to stop a wee? So I don’t have incontinence in that I can’t hold it in, but I mean when I sit on the toilet to go I can’t then stop it if I wanted to. Guessing this is linked to the not being able to feel my pelvic floor but wondered if I should be concerned at this stage?

Thanks again for the tips everyone, the hospital discussed physio and I’ll definitely be doing it. My midwife has also suggested a chat about the birth because it was so traumatic and I’ll be doing that.

@Melly1801 - I had exactly the feeling you describe when it came to trying to stop a wee. It did get better. I can’t remember how long it took, but I am now able to stop mid flow. I remember being worried about it, but it did improve.

I had a 3rd degree tear 2 years ago, you'll feel like a different person in a fortnight. I'm glad the midwives are talking about physio, I had a great one, she checked I was doing my exercises properly rather than using my tummy or sphincter.

I used to have a bulging feeling but numerous midwives and nurses checked and there was no prolapse but it didn't stop my worry. This bulging feeling probably only stopped between 6-12 months.

At 6 months I was doing country hikes with baby in a carrier.

Now at 2 years I'm totally fine. That probably feels like ages away but in the dark of night when you're worried just make sure you remember that you will feel better than you do now.

My physio said that we're designed to tear, then heal and recover quickly, that's why the skin is soft down there, how else would we get these giant baby heads out of us

I didn't have a tear or episiotomy but after i gave birth 2 months ago i was incontinent for about 2 weeks. After about 2/3 weeks I could really hold it in again, but definitely no control over stopping weeing or anything like that. And recently so about 6/7 weeks pp i could stop it and start again.
I still leak if i cough or sneeze or do some heavy lifting...

So nowhere near the ordeal you are going through but you will slowly feel better and regain some control.
Your body needs rest and time.

Good luck x

And pelvic floor exercises and probably physio...

Oh you will start to feel so much better in 2 weeks. As the stitches tighten it feels uncomfortable so I would put a couple of inches of water in the bath with a oil (I think it was tee tree) and that was so snoothing.

Also I took lutolouse (you can take if BF) and made sure I was having to push too hard when having bowel movement.

Congratulations!

I had 2 x grade 2 tears and an episiotomy (I think DD sort of burst out?!) - it was really sore for several weeks, painful to sit down and I was basically incontinent for a while. I remember weeing all over the bathroom floor and then just sitting sobbing one time. Similar problem with faeces. It gradually improved so it wasn't painful by the 6 week check. The continence gradually improved although I did have to come to terms with my body never being the same again. You can ask your MW to check it's healing ok and also your GP at the 6 week check. You can also ask to be referred to a postnatal/women's health physio which is really beneficial.
I've since improved the continence etc dramatically thru an intensive Pilates/core restore course.

You can also ask for a birth debrief/reflections session with a midwife who goes thru your birth notes. I found this helpful in finding out what happened and why with the birth.

I had a 3d tear. It was sore for about
2 weeks, then just a but uncomfortable for another 4. My son is now 10, I have no issue with incontinence but have been told I have a small gap in the muscles so my 2nd child was born by elective c section 3.5 years after my first. I have to say healing from the c section was much easier and more straightforward than healing from the tear.

Oh bless you OP. Firstly, congratulations on the arrival of your little one. Secondly, we really don't talk enough about the impact of giving birth on women's bodies. I had an episiotomy with my first and was absolutely shocked by how terrible I felt afterwards. My recovery time was 10 weeks (due to stitches getting infected) and in terms of having sex pain-free I'd say closer to six months. I gave birth to our second child 5.5 weeks ago and had a 2nd degree tear and a graze. I'd say I'm 99% back to feeling normal in that I'm able to do long dog walks and all the daily life stuff with no discomfort and after a few weeks I regained sensation pelvic-floor wise. I didn't have reduced sensation the first time around so was a but worried that I'd caused damage this time. I have some residual soreness but hopefully that will go soon too.

For me what's helped the second time around is not overdoing it and getting DH to help with doing things around the house (hard for me as I like to be on the go), taking painkillers when needed, plus Lactulose which was a godsend, and having daily showers rather than baths (I love baths but I'm convinced that's what caused my stitches to rupture after my episiotomy the first time around). I'm sure you're feeling quite sorry for yourself at the moment, it's a real shock to the system on top of having a newborn to look after. It's early days and you should definitely start to feel more like yourself again soon. Xx

Thanks everyone 😊 you’ve all made me feel a bit better about the recovery.

One more question I’ve thought of for anyone who did have a tear - how long before you could exercise again? And I mean weights / running / the gym, if you did that pre pregnancy / giving birth. I know it’s a long way off but I just wondered if you were able to get back to relative normal or if you had to make changes to that aspect of your life too due to the damage.

Thanks again, and thanks for all of the congratulations too 🥰 xxx

@Melly1801

Thanks everyone 😊 you’ve all made me feel a bit better about the recovery.

One more question I’ve thought of for anyone who did have a tear - how long before you could exercise again? And I mean weights / running / the gym, if you did that pre pregnancy / giving birth. I know it’s a long way off but I just wondered if you were able to get back to relative normal or if you had to make changes to that aspect of your life too due to the damage.

Thanks again, and thanks for all of the congratulations too 🥰 xxx

I can't help with that because I mainly sat on the sofa, by choice, with the baby for the first 6 (24) months 😂

I did postnatal Pilates from about 8 weeks and found that OK but a bit stressful in case of leakage. Walking I did an increasing amount though and it was ok although I didn't like to go for a long walk without access to loos and was a bit self-conscious about it if walking with a friend. I've never been a runner or gym-goer

I didn't go back to the gym for ages after having DD (3b tear) so not sure when I would have been up to it, but when I did return 2 years later it was fine. I'm more aware of my post-breastfeeding breasts when running! If I do squats, I have to actively engage my pelvic floor but I can do them OK. I also did postnatal Pilates which was great.