Baby shower after the baby is born?

[hporter10]

I love the idea of having a baby shower and so does my other half. But, both me and my Mum thinks they are bad luck (from unfortunate experience involving friends and family members who've lost babies after having them - being then left with all the presents).

I have found some women who said having them after the baby is born is a fairly nice way of removing this "bad omen" feeling I have with them. Does anyone have experience of this or have an idea of when would be a good time to have them?

I am due December 20th so I have a good few weeks after due date which would be "no go" times

I'm sure people will come and visit you once the baby is safely here and bring a gift. You won't have time to worry about such things once you have a newborn!

I've had 5 children already via 4 pregnancies and never had or attended a baby shower. SIL asked if I was having one for this baby but I said I'm not bothered for one as I didn't with the others, she didn't sound happy about it though. We've had all our children baptised by 5mth old with a small catered party after, that has been a good time for extended family and friends to meet them. You can have a naming ceremony if you don't want a religious thing.

You can't host your own baby shower. It's something that is thrown for you and not by you. If you're uncomfortable having a baby shower, which I can understand for the.reasons you have stated, then I would do as others have suggested and host a naming ceremony or christening after the arrival of baby.

I had something called a sip and see where you invite people over for snacks/drinks after the baby is born. Made more sense for us as then they could see the baby as opposed to just seeing pregnant me!

Not sure how it would work post Covid though

Well baby showers aren't bad luck, that's implying they lost their babies because they had a baby shower. It must be truly awful to have a late miscarriage or stillborn baby without the suggestion it's because they had a party.

However I'd say if you're due just before Christmas, and not knowing what lockdown will look down for next winter, I'd just invite people over as families as and when you can over 5ge Xmas period and then look at having a naming ceremony of some sort late Spring inwards if you want everyone together

I loathe baby showers... its just like begging in my opinion. But of you do insist on having a baby shower at least do it whilst your pregnant

It's called people coming to see your baby and maybe bringing a present. You have no idea how you will feel after giving birth or for how long.

It's a bit unusual to have one afterwards. Why not host a 'welcome to the world' afternoon instead where people can drop in and meet the baby?

I would probably give it quite a few weeks though - you probably won't want to pass your newborn around particularly now with Covid. And if you're trying to establish breastfeeding or recovering after a difficult birth, you DEFINITELY won't want a house full of people for a while!

Everything @otterbaby said.

Having visitors in the first 8 weeks is so overwhelming, no matter who it is and how close they are to you.

I’m quite anti- baby showers too, for different reasons. I just don’t like the idea of all the attention being on me and feel like it’s then expected for people to bring you a present before the baby is here and then after they have arrived when they come to visit. Doing it after would save individual people trailing to your house one by one to meet your baby so might be a good way to do the visits! Would also save the present issue and stop it from being a ‘bad omen’. Luckily I’m due in the summer so I’m having a very small casual BBQ instead and have said no gifts!

I assume no one has actually offered to host one for you. I had one hosted for me but said no gifts as think it's grabby. Some people bought some nice donated items from when they had babies which was a lovely surprise.

I wouldn't host my own because it's basically asking people to come see you with gifts....I think it's nicer to have a meet the baby cuppa/ BBQ when they are a few months old in the spring/summer if you want to do something afterwards.

The English (British?) tradition is tea and presents once baby is here, but it’s not called a shower.

Do what suits you.