23 weeks and having a wobble

[Cafeaulait27]

Hi everyone! I’m 23 weeks today and having a bit of a wobble this week. I don’t know if it’s to do with covid, wfh isolation, worrying about money when I’m on statutory maternity pay or just the big life change that’s looking but I keep worrying about how much our lives will change when the baby comes.

This baby is SO wanted, I had 2 miscarriages this year. Just feeling quite overwhelmed. Guessing everyone goes through this? Sometimes I feel so excited and can’t wait, other times I freak out.

I’m a bit scared about this summer not being as normal as I’d hoped, and then feeling isolated when on mat leave if covid doesn’t ‘go away’. Worried about potential lovk downs or everything going virtual and missing out on the social side of things.

If anyone could help reassure me about how great motherhood will be and how much I’ll love my baby and new life that would be great!! I am prepared for it to be hard in terms of sleep deprivation and learning how to look after a baby, but will the love make up for it all? 💜🌈

Should probably mention I’m due in October ☺️

I feel the same, I am 25 weeks and sometimes I think OMG what am I doing? I so want this baby but it also really scares me how much everything is going to change and if I can manage it. I am also worried about MAT pay etc.

I have found a local facebook group for my postcode so I intend to try and make some mum friends on there if lockdown happens again. I am really hoping that the mum and baby groups will stay open so that I can mingle with other mums.

I'm due in October too - 2nd baby. I had MMC last year so was very anxious at the start but it is getting better now I am feeling movement.

I can assure you that any anxieties you have about money etc. will fade away the minute you hold that baby :) I won't lie and say it's easy because it isn't, and I struggled with post natal anxiety too, but they are so worth it, my son is 3 now and just absolutely gorgeous, such a character and I adore him!

Your lives will change massively, and it took me a while to come to terms with that, but you get there.

So hard, but just try to enjoy the pregnancy and live in the moment as much as you can because it all goes by in a flash! Cannot believe my son is 3 really, feels like yesterday he was newborn! x

@yellowbaglady yes! It’s scary that there’s no going back haha. I’m just hoping to feel so head over heels in love that I don’t care about all the things I can’t do anymore. Covid just adds to the anxiety - when I got pregnant I was really hoping things would be normal by now.

I’ve booked an NCT course in my town which is currently in person, hoping it stays that way 🤞

I agree, really hoping they find a way to keep groups open, we all need social interaction so much xx

@Amz6219 thank you this is very reassuring! Same with the anxiety, I was worried something was wrong constantly, feeling movement every day definitely helps. Thank you!

Do you know if you’re having a boy or girl this time? Xx

heeeey @Cafeaulait27! wow arent the weeks flying by, mad isnt it! Think your feelings are entirely normal! know exactly what u mean - i feel like at the mo missing our on loads of sporting stuff that i usually do with teams and friends and am missing this, feel like falling out of contact with people because of it. Worried if ill ever get back to it. Feeling massive and fat and wonder if my body will ever be mine again. but then, goingthrough bag loads of clothes weve been gifted i cant believe how tiny these baby clothes are, and that we are gonna get our own little person to fill the babygrows up! Excited when see the kids playground and think one day that will be us going to play there. Life will be different for sure, but different also in a good way :) we will get new friends to enjoy spending time with as well! Defo dont expect its gonna be easy, but hey - is life ever gonna be easy?! i think its really hard at the mo, as we dont know our baby, and it can still seem a bit like disconnected? but will be sooo diff when they r here and theyve got a real face, name and their own little personality! I still cant put it together with what ive seen on screen - to being something tangible that will exist by september!
how have u been feeling?? xx

@Cafeaulait27 the nct classes are really good. You will definitely make friends there :) The sessions make you feel so much more control of the birth too.

[quote Cafeaulait27]@Amz6219 thank you this is very reassuring! Same with the anxiety, I was worried something was wrong constantly, feeling movement every day definitely helps. Thank you!

Do you know if you’re having a boy or girl this time? Xx[/quote]
Having a girl this time, wasn't sure whether to find out or not but we have got so baby boy much stuff that needed sorting through so now we know we can donate it all! x

@Amz6219 ah congrats! So exciting!

@yellowbaglady I really hope so! Really hope they stay in person, can’t be doing with more zoom meetings!!!

Your lives will change dramatically, but it's all good!

Everything will revolve around your little one, even when you are going out without them, but you will feel love like you never have before.

My babies are grown up but I'd do it all again, children are so fulfilling.

@leftitlate37 time really is flying by!! How far along are you now?

Yeah I’m hoping that I’ll make loads of new friends and it’ll all be fine. It’s weird isn’t it, I feel like I’m saying bye to my old life already. I feel I’m already being treated differently at work and by some friends, but maybe that’s just my paranoia!

You’re so right, I am really excited by all the new things we’ll be able to do like visiting playgrounds and farms 😂 And dressing our little boy up in super cute clothes! Xxx

I'm also due with my first in October! I know we have big changes ahead but I'm just taking it one day at a time and enjoying the pregnancy stage for now! I'm lucky I'll get full pay for maternity so I don't have that worry but I can understand what a stressor it must be.

I remember this feeling! I was trying for two years before I was pregnant so very much wanted baby. I had a massive wobble - I think because you focus on getting rather than being. So when it is a reality it feels huge and overwhelming.

What helped me is meeting up with a friend who had a small baby and hearing from her that it was all good. I also read baby books - finding out more info is my go to for when I’m not sure!

@shivawn wow that’s great! How’d you manage to get full pay?! Are your company just amazing?! I didn’t actually realise that stat maternity pay is only £150 a week, and won’t cover my half of the mortgage and bills, let alone food and whatever else. I think I was so focused on getting pregnant and then hoping for a healthy pregnancy that I didn’t even consider maternity!

@Mercedes519 totally! Have you had your baby now? After trying for about a year and 2 mcs, I was so focused on getting pregnant and keeping the pregnancy going that I never even thought about having an actual baby here haha. At the time I just felt like it would keep going wrong for us (fingers crossed it’ll be ok this time) I think it was when I told my work that it really hit me - as I’ve had to start thinking about maternity leave and everything, I suddenly feel very overwhelmed and it feels so real! Xxx

I live in Ireland and I'm a nurse, its just standard here that all public service workers get full wages while on maternity! I think we get less time off than ye though, 6 months with the option to take 3 months unpaid then.

That’s great @shivawn! I get 6 weeks at 90% of my salary, then it goes down to £150 a week for 9 months, then nothing the last 3 (months if I wanted to take that) I think most people who get statutory do 9 months and then come back xx

@Cafeaulait27 just a bit. DC is nearly 15!! But I remember vividly how overwhelming it felt and yet I felt bad about not being blissfully happy about it given I’d tried for so long and been through so much to have a baby.

Hang in there - it takes some time (quite rightly) to get used to it. It is IMO the biggest thing you can do in your life. However you really DON’T have to enjoy every second…

some bits aren’t that enjoyable - many bodily fluids for my liking. But the cuddles make up for it all