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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Newborn on the way and I don't drive?

49 replies

hporter10 · 16/06/2021 10:43

Hi everyone,

So, I am 13 weeks (due December 21st) with my first. I am 26 years old and I learnt how to drive but never took my test - just due to circumstances. Everyone I speak to is pushing me to try to rush passing my test - which is already difficult due to the delay on driving tests because of covid - but also the money it will cost is putting me off too. I know it would be really useful and helpful and give me more freedom and all of that... but is it really necessary? I live in an area that has excellent public transport, uber, taxis always available and I am also a keen walker (usually walking around 10 to 15000 steps a day, even whilst pregnant). I don't see the issue with continuing with walking and public transport and then learning to drive when the baby is a little older?

I'd really love other Mums advice, especially those who don't drive and manage or those who think it is a complete no go

Thank you

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/06/2021 11:44

I struggled with a baby and no car. But... I lived in the middle of no where )after DHs job moved when she was 4 months old). I had a corner shop and playgroup in walking distance (and not walking on the verge of a 60mph A road, no pavement, for several miles to town). DH had to take time off when baby was ill to take us to doctors. We all went food shopping in the evenings. I could never take her anywhere.
I passed my test the day before her first birthday, after having lessons at 8am on a Saturday as that was when DH could have baby.

In the city? No issue.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 16/06/2021 11:45

Forgot to add... There was only three buses a day, five days a week. No guarantee of getting pram on.

Chelyanne · 16/06/2021 12:33

Many women have babies/children and don't drive. If you don't want to rush it then don't bother.

Personally I couldn't be without the car. Public transport is fine for the essentials but not for visiting family and would have been a mighty commute time when I worked too. Now with 5 kids and another due the car is pretty essential, at 30wk I'm loving the air-con too.

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 16/06/2021 12:35

I don’t drive, DC is 3, it’s fine. Worth spending money on a decent pram if you’ll be doing lots of walking though.

Chelyanne · 16/06/2021 12:35

31wk actually, good grief I shouldn't be adding time lol

ShowOfHands · 16/06/2021 12:39

I didn't learn until my youngest was 3 and it was fine. In fact, I miss it.

We were so much more self sufficient, the children were hardy and resourceful because they had to be. It was completely fine.

As a driver, I'd struggle to have my car taken away now as my lifestyle has morphed to fit what's available but we would manage. I only learned because I moved somewhere rural and 2 buses a day didn't fit with the school run and it was logistically very difficult.

If you don't want to focus on it right now, don't. You have time and I think you'll be fine.

Lazypuppy · 16/06/2021 12:40

Once you have a baby you will find it harder to spend the money on driving lessons as babies always need something. I would recommend doing it before. If you have already had lessons, you shouldn't need that many to pass? 5-10 lessons max

MondeoFan · 16/06/2021 12:44

I follow someone on Instagram with 8 kids that doesn't drive. She seems to manage ok.
For me it's a no go. Wouldn't have had a baby if i didn't drive. But I like to travel and visit places and take children to the beach or zoo or safari park etc. I also like to sell my old belongings at the boot sale. Couldn't do that if I didn't drive.
Not sure what your solution is really? I would imagine public transport with a Pram is a nightmare. Took my baby on train into London couple times in a sling.

FudgeSundae · 16/06/2021 12:48

It’s worth considering car seats. You don’t need them legally in a taxi (not sure about Ubers) but I personally wouldn’t take a newborn in a car without one. You can get ones that clip onto a pram so that could be an option to carry around.
Where I live a car is essential, but public transport is shite, there’s no Uber and taxis are £££.

Doveyouknow · 16/06/2021 12:52

I don't drive and for the most part it is no problem at all. Public transport is good here and my kids are happy to walk / get the bus. I find long distance journeys are easy by train, when they are little you can feed them when you like, no need to worry about limiting time in the car seat. As they have got older it's easier to entertain them. The biggest difficulty is visiting family who live in rural areas with no transport...but that was tricky pre kids!

1940s · 16/06/2021 12:57

I think you'll be fine. However I'd consider attempting to get the following (even second hand will be fine)
Very small stroller that you can fold up very easily on buses / trains if you needed too
A decent sling. Visit a sling library to find one that suits your frame (maybe wait until
Baby is here)
A larger all terrain type buggy for taking to the woods / on longer journeys that has ample storage underneath for a few bags of shopping

georgarina · 16/06/2021 12:57

Pretty much same situation as you - I learned and got all the way to the test before DC1 was born but he came early so missed the test!

Since then I haven't bothered - I live right in the city centre and it's been totally fine, way cheaper and actually more convenient not to have a car. There's nowhere I need to drive to that it wouldn't be easier to use public transport. Cars are expensive and I just wouldn't use one.

DC2 arriving imminently and I've decided to leave it.

I do think it's useful to have a license in case you do ever need to drive, but if you live in a city with good transport links a car is more hassle than it's worth.

mynameiscalypso · 16/06/2021 13:03

I can drive but don't - I passed my test about 15 years ago and haven't driven since so I don't think I'd be safe behind the wheel these days! It's not an issue for me, we just walk or get public transport. My DH drives and is on the insurance of my parents' car so, if we need one, we can take that (they also have a car seat). It's only once or twice a year though and we could easily manage without. Even if we did have a car, I'd probably still walk or get public transport most of the time because traffic is such a nightmare that it's normally slower and it's much easier to entertain a grumpy baby on a walk/train than if you're driving.

HaplotypeK · 16/06/2021 13:05

@MondeoFan

I follow someone on Instagram with 8 kids that doesn't drive. She seems to manage ok. For me it's a no go. Wouldn't have had a baby if i didn't drive. But I like to travel and visit places and take children to the beach or zoo or safari park etc. I also like to sell my old belongings at the boot sale. Couldn't do that if I didn't drive. Not sure what your solution is really? I would imagine public transport with a Pram is a nightmare. Took my baby on train into London couple times in a sling.

I've done all of those (beach, zoo, wildlife park, travelling) without driving. We've been to india, Greece, croatia, france, Italy, spain, etc. Etc. By train or bus, with the occasional taxi.

And we go out in town (central London) at least once or twice a week in non covid times. Never wanted or missed a car.

Public transport with a maclaren or a sling is very easy. Much easier than parking most of the time.

IamMoana · 16/06/2021 13:11

My daughter was on a bus from 4 days old and is now 7, I don't drive. Make sure you invest in a good pram (you'll be amazed what you can hang off it) and one that's easily collapsing if need be. I had a Bugaboo chameleon which reclined with a hood so my daughter slept on the bus/train with no issues.

It's never stopped us from holidays, day trips, beaches, life in general. Just be prepared to plan ahead & have snacks & books on hand the bigger they get. They see it as am adventure, honestly, and get used early on to walking & the weather. I don't have any regrets (be prepared to be judged by those who don't understand though).

ShowOfHands · 16/06/2021 13:25

I didn't have a pram either. I just used a sling. It really was very straightforward.

SingingSands · 16/06/2021 13:40

I was in the same position as you. I resumed lessons when DD was about 6 months old and then sat my test and passed when she was 10 months. I also live somewhere with great local transport.

BUT learning to drive was a game changer for me - gave me so much more freedom. I live on the edge of the Dales so would often head off for the day with a friend and the babies and have a picnic at Bolton Abbey. I could also visit my parents in Scotland for weekends. There was also the time DH had an awful accident and I drove him to hospital.

I'd encourage you to go for it if you can afford to. Most areas are booked up for tests until early next year, so plenty of time to practice (our area is booked until March!).

DD is now 17 and learning to drive, I've encouraged her to do it whilst she's young!

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 16/06/2021 13:41

You will be fine. We live in similar places by the sounds of it, 6 different bus routes local to me, 2 train stations and cab offices/uber's are everywhere. We have never had a problem and the last time I had a lift anywhere was 3 years ago when I was pregnant and needed to get to hospital, that was because the person was with me. Otherwise I would have called a cab or an ambulance (if needed)

As you're used to walking you'll be fine, I've noticed that what I would consider a short-ish journey, can seem longer to some drivers.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 16/06/2021 13:43

The first 10 years I didn't drive with ds, get alight buggy that's easy to get on and off transport and you'll be fine

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 16/06/2021 13:45

**a light

HopeYourHighHorseBucks · 16/06/2021 13:46

Ignore the poster who says you can't have days out. That's ridiculous. In the last 2 months we've been away for a weeks break to a holiday camp, a theme park, the beach and multiple outings to soft play, parks etc. All using public transport and has been fine.

Driving no doubt makes life easier but to suggest you can't do certain things is silly.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 16/06/2021 13:49

I passed in late October. Ds was born mid January.... Get going op...

Welikebeingcosy · 16/06/2021 13:54

My DD is two I'm on my own and sometimes I do wish I had a car in the winter but then I just call a taxi! I think if I saved for a car, paid insurance, tax mot etc, the amount I would spend on taxis wouldn't even be a fraction of that cost. Also I have been wanting to do some longer trips but I remember the ride sharing app called bla bla car which I will use in the future. The only time I've really felt the pain of not having a car was in the pandemic when I couldn't get a grocery delivery slot but I wouldn't buy a car just for the chance of that happening again.

Dyra · 16/06/2021 14:50

While I know it would be nice to be able to drive (34, never taken a lesson), honestly, I don't think we've missed out on anything. I walked to all my baby groups. Public transport is fine where I live to get to further away things. There's a supermarket, soft play, nature walk, and a few parks within walking distance too.

In the future, I know it's going to be a necessity. Especially when I no longer have the pram to carry the shopping home! But for now, I really don't think having a car is vital.

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