Anyone else felt hormonal rage?

[HelpIveLostMyMarbles]

Hi all, I'm looking for some reassurance I think and to feel less alone. Name changed due to shame...
I'm 17 weeks pregnant, much wanted baby. Had scans and cried with happiness each time. Tests came back low risk and I found out the sex - cried with happiness again! I say this to reinforce how happy I am to be pregnant.
My problem is, I think (hope) hormonal. I have felt really low in the past week or so. The worst part is I am HATING my husband. He's not perfect but he's a good guy, I love him. He's done nothing wrong. But honestly I cannot even bear the sound of his voice 🙁I can barely bring myself to speak to him. He can do no right in my eyes. I'm keeping it to myself but that means I'm v quiet, a bit brusque maybe. If I'm ever like this (it's like pmt x 10) he tends to go quiet, maybe seems a bit pissed off, as a defence. So, we end up in a situation whereby we're not really speaking beyond "hello". Just civil, like lodgers. This is just reinforcing my negative feelings as I'm resentful that this experience isn't what it should be. That makes me angry with him. It's like I can't accept my part in it, I'm just full of anger and hate. It's awful. I'm fine at work, with friends, no one would know. Just with him. Can anyone relate to this? I'm feeling very down and alone when I want to be happy and excited. Thanks for reading.

Couldn't read and run. I think this is completely normal. I'm not sure how you cope with it though. I'm sure more knowledgeable people will be along soon. What is your relationship with your own parents like?

Oh thank you @Bryonyshcmyony . I understand now when people are so grateful for a response ! Gosh I hope you're right- I've never heard anyone say this. My dad sadly died a few months ago 😞 he would have been happy for me. My mother is a toxic witch who I have very little to do with 😆

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I am no psychiatrist but perhaps the family trauma is affecting your feelings towards your dh? I had an awful childhood and the trauma from that resurfaced when I was pregnant. It is very common.

I've been on Tamoxifen since about November last year, I'm very lucky in that I am no longer receiving any other treatments now but recently I have had terrible mood swings, for around the last month or so I can go from sad, to irritated by the tiniest thing, to really rageful within minutes, crying for no reason seems to be my lastest thing. All very frustrating as I don't want to feel this way, have lots to look forward to and am lucky to have lovely friends and family so am struggling with my recent moods and hoping that tamoxifen may be the culprit and I'm not just slowly going mad ! day to day is startingto become a struggle, has anyone else had this experience ???

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www.momdadchoice.com/pregnancy-signs/

Yes! I was like this most of my pregnancy. I was really honest with my DH and tried to explain how I was feeling. It does pass though!

I've been through phases of this in my pregnancy. There are times that my ohs face has just pissed me off. It's just hormones!

Thank you all so much. This is helping. I hope it changes soon if it is hormones. I'm not sure about the trauma side because I didn't feel like this at all with my DD, ten years ago. I just felt happy and excited, like I did a few weeks ago with this one. DH walked past me yesterday and I stuck two fingers up at his retreating back!! honestly that's not like me!

Don't worry it's normal. If you think you hate him now just wait until the baby arrives - then you'll really hate him! 🤣

This is so normal honestly! I’m 22 weeks and have felt the same in both pregnancies..
my feelings go from feeling absolutely disgusted and repulsed when kissing him. Not wanting to be touched physically whatsoever.. to my brain trying to sabotage our relationship and giving me a running commentary on everything negative and bad about him and the billion and 1 reasons I shouldn’t be with him.
I think there’s got to be something in nature that does this.. don’t spiders eat the male spider after they’ve been fertilised or whatever lol..
Anyway.. my partner knows this is what I’m like and I’ve told him exactly how I feel and to back off sometimes.. he rolls his eyes and tells me more than once a day that he can’t wait for this pregnancy to be over.. little does he know the feelings continue until about 9 months after.. although last time things kind of improved after the birth but just still felt as ratty.
Take pregnancy feelings all with a pinch of salt.. Honestly.. how they don’t make more women run away and live under a cave I don’t know!
Maybe show him some of the replies on this thread.. When I’m not feeling so shirty I find it good to have a laugh about it with him and tell him to back the F off for now..

little does he know the feelings continue until about 9 months after

Timeline sounds about right - I have 5 month old twins and the "rage" is just starting to decrease 🤣 - him just breathing doesn't make me hate him anymore 🤣

my feelings go from feeling absolutely disgusted and repulsed when kissing him. Not wanting to be touched physically whatsoever.. to my brain trying to sabotage our relationship and giving me a running commentary on everything negative and bad about him and the billion and 1 reasons I shouldn’t be with him.

@Peachee that is exactly it, especially the running good commentary 😬

Oh yes, this was (is) me too. I was seething with anger at times during pregnancy; just the way my husband breathed could be enough to incitr the rage. I found long walks in the evening provided a really good outlet to talk through all my feelings whist husband just listened (poor guy). It's a good time of year for it now! I went out every night during my pregnancy last year, always wearing huge sunglasses to hide the fact I was essentially sobbing in public. There's a lot to unpick with your feelings when pregnant and I think the anger stems from the fear of the unknown??

I'm only 5 weeks but I have hated my partner for the past 3 weeks 🤣 I know it is just hormones as normally we get on so well. He literally said to me this morning this is going to be a loooong 9 months... I cried 🤣

I wonder if grief from your father's death is affecting you? If I'm having a day of feeling rage (which I do from time to time) i often realise later that I'm feeling sad about recent bereavements.

I'm 34 weeks and I loathe mine at the minute. Why the fuck should I have to go to all the appointments and worry about the birth and go through the birth and he just gets to swan around not caring less by the looks of it? I can barely look at him at times, I just want him to fuck off out of my sight.

I was actually just thinking today about the seething anger and hatred I experienced during pregnancy and post-partum period. DC is 3 now and I had completely forgotten, I was shocked remembering the intensity of it. Mine wasn't directed at DH, but at pretty much everything and everyone else! It's so difficult to deal with at the time, but it is a completely normal part of the experience for some women, and it does pass. I think I'm actually far more relaxed and easy-going now than I ever was before DC.

So many good points! Yes I do think grief about my dad has an effect. I'd love to be telling him about it - he was so supportive when I had my DD. My husband is rubbish at confronting things, talking about feelings and so on so we easily enter into a kind of impasse. I think I struggle to know if what I feel is 'real'- like the feelings and thoughts feel so accurate and reasonable but they may really just be hormones! I have to keep reminding myself of this. Otherwise, I genuinely fear for my marriage.

At approx 20 weeks pregnant, I absolutely lost my shit one eve and threw a pizza after OH said he thought it looked a bit over cooked. It wasn't my finest moment.

But we were alright again and now look back at it and laugh. It's normal, just hormones at work.

Honestly don’t beat yourself up about having these feelings and thoughts. They are totally normal.