Dating a new man in pregnancy

[earlytwentiesmama]

Hi everyone,

I hope you are well. I'm just looking for some advice or opinions.

I'm 6 months pregnant now with a little girl and have been on my own with it since conception. I slept with my ex once (bad mistake) and this happened. I am overjoyed and feel extremely lucky to be having her regardless.

However in recent weeks I have met a man at work (he 10 years older). He showed interest in me, perused me on social media and asked me out on a date. We have seen each other a lot since. He's lovely, gentle, kind, doesn't ignore the situation but isn't over the top. Has offered bits of help here and there when I have been worried about something. If I wasn't pregnant I would be really hoping it would lead somewhere.

I have asked him about what he's going to feel in 3 months when the baby is here and he says he wants to be here for me and still wants to see me, with her and is willing to come over etc but I'm very doubtful on the future as can't imagine why a man would want this with a child that isn't his.

Part of me thinks ending it all now would stop any heartbreaks on top of dealing with a newborn alone. She will always always be top priority and I feel if I'm hurting she won't get my best. But equally it could turn out lovely? Has anyone had a similar experience or could just give me an honest point of view.

What kind of creep deliberately hits on a pregnant woman?

After all, given your pregnancy, he couldn’t have known you weren’t in a relationship could he?

Making a move on a pregnant woman is just horrible and I would steer well clear.

What kind of creep deliberately hits on a pregnant woman?

In my experience, one who likes access to children.

Thanks everyone!

So I've been thinking about it a lot and i know a couple of people on here picked up that I have some self esteem issues. They aren't wrong but I'm dealing with those, they just stem from a really abusive relationship, hence the term I used "not forceful at all" but I didn't mean for it to be said like that I think it just still shocks me when men aren't forceful or pushy.

Up until today it's been lovely. But since that im not sure it's right, I can feel it. I offered to go out for a walk in the sun after he said he was free all weekend and then he changed and said he's only free in the evening and I could go over to his? That didn't really sit well with me.

So I think essentially I'll see him tommorow and just have an honest conversation because I have to put myself first, I've never done it before but it's time to.

In response to a pp: he did know I was single when he started talking to me as he found out from my boss when they were talking!
Thanks everyone 💙

@MindTheBumps

I agree with others take it very slowly.

I know people who have met their new partner when they had a very young baby and it worked out great and they were together ten years and he still sees the child but equally I know a guy who seems to have a pregnancy fetish and either dates pregnant women or gets women pregnant very quickly and moves on soon after the baby is born.

There is no way to know his motives so just date slowly and get to know him really well.

I wouldn't say it "worked out great" if they were only together 10 years.

I think it's strange he would want to have sex with someone who has an obvious bump with someone else's baby.

@OffRampHilton

What kind of creep deliberately hits on a pregnant woman?

In my experience, one who likes access to children.

I thought this also 😕

So this is slightly different. But one of my best friends went on a date with her now husband when she was 9 weeks pregnant. She was honest from the get go and they still hit it off straight away. This was 7 years ago and they are now married and have had 2 more kids together (another on the way). He went to all her scans with her and brought him up as his own, eventually adopted him with biological dads blessing. I know this doesn't happen often, but it's possible. Just be careful and take it slow if you do continue to see him x