Help I'm 28 weeks pregnant and want to end my relationship

[indigo27]

I am 28 weeks pregnant,
I have a 9 year old and my partner of 3 years has a 6 year old. My partner asked me to marry him a few months ago and he has been very supportive.
I have always suffered from anxiety and see a therapist once a week- for the last couple of weeks all I can think about is wanting to call it a day with my partner.
I feel that he doesn't treat the girls equally no matter how much he says that he does. I feel like when this baby gets here he is going to favour his daughter and over compensate due to the fact that she doesn't live with us. I worry that he will just ignore our baby incase he makes his daughter feel left out.
I therefore feel like it would be best to end this relationship now so I can focus on both my children and ensure they are happy and loved. I don't want to be stressed and constantly feeling pangs of unfairness and just general unbalance.
Am I going crazy? I can't think straight 😔

Definitely sounds like you can’t think straight and are struggling with this. We dont know him so we don’t know how unfair he is etc. Have you mentioned this to him? Do you want to be with him other than this or would you not be bothered if you were on your own?

This is classic anxiety. You are catastrophising about scenarios that haven't and may never come to pass. Added to this is pregnancy hormones. Please don't end your relationship- talk to your partner about how your anxiety is making you feel and speak to your therapist too to try and unpick these negative thoughts.

@pigglepot

This is classic anxiety. You are catastrophising about scenarios that haven't and may never come to pass. Added to this is pregnancy hormones. Please don't end your relationship- talk to your partner about how your anxiety is making you feel and speak to your therapist too to try and unpick these negative thoughts.

Agree with this 100%. I've had severe anxiety in the past & recognise the catastrophic thinking spiral all too well.

When I catch myself thinking like this I like to turn the hypothetical situation around to give myself another view. So for you, think about how it would feel if your partner was delighted at the birth of your child, doted on them & treated them fairly. This is another possible outcome so remember to look at the potential positives.

Exactly what @pigglepot said.
I have been there and I know you can't see things working out right now but it really sounds like it is anxiety taking over.
Definitely talk to your therapist and maybe your midwife to see the MH team?

And even if it is the case and your partner does favour his own kid, you still should give him a chance i think. You cannot predict the future. Perhaps he will be madly in love with your baby and things will actually balance themselves out in the family?
You never know... don't give up now!

In what way do you feel he treats his DD differently?

If you live together with your DD and her has his EOW then I can understand he may want to make that time with her special. Does your DD not get included in any plans they have?

It's always complicated to blend families and there will always be compromises.

It maybe anxiety but it also maybe founded?

Have a chat with him and say exactly how you feel and what u feel like u should do. See what he says.

I think it’s anxiety but at the same time these issues are present and they are real issue but at the minute everything is intensified and magnified. Pregnancy tends to do that. You are right to be concerned though, if there is unfair treatment it has to be addressed x

I just feel like he makes more of an effort when his daughter is round.
And when she's not there I feel like he's not as lively and engaged with us.
I have brought this up before and he has said it's because my daughters older and does a lot of after school activities and that she likes doing her own thing which is true. He says he loves her dearly and that he doesn't know what more he can do to help me see that.
Recently his daughter went home with a bruise on her ear which she didn't know how she'd done and when she got home her mum automatically blamed my daughter- this is the first instance of this kind of thing in three years. I called her mum and said that I wanted to discuss it to which she was really rude and said I was nothing to do with her daughter and was just extremely immature about the whole thing.
This has only fuelled my feelings I think and now I just feel at a loss.
I always feel like it's them and then me and my daughter. My partner has come to therapy with me and we have discussed this multiple times but still something inside just doesn't sit right with me and I just feel uneasy.
I keep crying and just don't know what to do. I love him very much and he is a good man but when I think about this baby coming the feelings of excitement are tainted with dread with thoughts of how things are going to be.
I just keep thinking I want it to be a happy time but that it's not going to be because I'm going to be heartbroken at how much he still only is fun and fully present with us when his daughter is there.
I'm sorry for rambling I just feel so lost, torn and confused

Thank you so much to everyone who has messaged kind words.
Honestly it's so appreciated as I feel so alone with this. I have scheduled another therapy session for Saturday.
I'm now just really paranoid that his ex will be saying horrible things to him about me because I tried to discuss the bruise situation with her. I also feel hurt and upset that he still has to be so civil and nice to her even though she's really hurt my feelings with what she said. I treat her daughter like my own, drop her home, pick her up, attend parents evenings at their request and for her to say im nothing to do with their daughter has really hurt me. My partner did stick up for me but it hurts knowing he still has to almost suck up to someone who is so unkind. I completely understand they have to be civil and I know im just being sensitive. Just feel so overwhelmed. X