First pregnancy and scared

[Mic21]

I am less than 12 weeks pregnant and started this journey with a fully supportive partner. Very recently me and my partner had a disagreement that led to quite a fall out. Partner then broke up with me via his mother and kicked me out the house. I'm first time pregnant, sleeping on my parents floor, in between jobs and absolutely terrified. Ex partner won't speak to me, last thing he said to me was he never wanted to see me ever again. I've reached out to his mother several times and said, pleaded almost, that it isn't about me and him or who upset who or any of that anymore but was about the baby. I felt I was being pushed to abort but after what happened I felt more protective of baby than ever and I told ex I was keeping it and he could be involved as much or as little as he pleased but that I just needed to know. I've not heard from him. He didn't attended first midwives appointment.
I'm terrified, and feeling so lost and alone.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It doesn't seem like your partner wants to be involved with the baby, so you may want to prepare to be a single parent.

Would it be possible to get a bed at your parents home while you decide what to do next?

I'm hearing conflicting information....he seems to think (I heard on the grapevine) that I left him. When it was his mum who told me he wanted out the relationship and that I had to pack my things and leave. Since then she's said I was to go through her with all prefnancy details and I just cannot get to him at all. My number is blocked, I haven't seen him. I don't know what to think because apparently he thinks I've left him and I'm convinced he's the one who wanted to break up.

It sounds like there’s a part of you that is hoping for a change of heart from him and I understand- it’s totally natural. However the facts speak for themselves: he is not interested and any story he is telling people about you being the one who left is only destined to cause you more harm.

It’s so hard to mourn a relationship and prepare for a baby at the same time but try and focus on the miracle inside you and the future.
Focus first on getting yourself a comfortable place to sleep then on securing income for your baby and you. Take care of yourself and try to enjoy the pregnancy by celebrating milestones with your friends and parents.
Fill your heart and head with all things beautiful and happy - walk in parks and nature, eat yummy cakes and enjoy friendships. One day you will meet someone to share your life with but right now, it’s all about baby and you.

PS: if for your peace of mind you need to verify that the mum isn’t scheming against you, try to send a snail mail letter to his workplace or or an email or something where his mum can’t intercept it. It’s incredibly unlikely he is not aware of the real situation but if it helps you move on, do it. Just do it with the understanding it’s for your peace of mind, not with the expectation he will respond.

I've had a missed miscarriage. I booked a private scan for reassurance that things were ok following the fall out of everything and found out my baby had gone. The pain is like something I've never felt, I felt so protective of her this past week or so and prayed she'd hold on and that I'd find us somewhere to live, but wasn't meant to be. 💔

I'm so sorry to hear that, that's heartbreaking.
I can understand you feeling protective of the baby. I hope you manage to find the space to grieve and wish you all the best in the future.