Please tell me your ELCS stories!

[MyGrassIsBrowner]

Just that, how was your experience(s)?
I'm due to meet with the consultation on Monday with my request for one. I'm currently 22+4 with baby no.2. My DD is 14 months now, my birth with her was on an MLU. Midwife at the time was not supportive, I pushed at all the wrong times, didn't get any pain relief (G&A) until the last minute when at that point I couldn't focus on it as I was in so much pain, she was back to back also (contractions were off the scale pain wise) ended up with 2nd degree internal tear and graze on labia.
Pretty sure I've got a mild prolapse now, rectocele and I'm fairly certain as I have had a good look down there (okay, it hasn't been formally diagnosed but was dismissed by the nurse when I had my smear after DD) so haven't bothered to follow it up. Took me months and months before I could sit down normally without being in agony. Now I'm getting heavier it's exacerbating all my previous symptoms (especially feels uncomfortable when I sit on the loo and sometimes find I have to manually remove stool as I'm too fearful of pushing.
Anyway, midwife pretty much said no off the bat, straight onto me with the risks etc (which I have made myself fully aware of through my own research) must have then felt sorry for me as I cried down the phone to her she then arranged for me to meet with the consultant on Monday which I am so happy about. I know I may have a bit of a fight on my hands for one but I just want to get myself prepared!

So... did you have one? How did you find it? Am I being daft? I look forward to reading your replies! 😊 x

@MyGrassIsBrowner thank you for that information 💞 quite nervous to bring it up with the consultant but I think if I show I have done my research and I understand risks hopefully he won't hate me too much! X

@jessicakxx dont be nervous. I meet with the consultant on Monday and I feel very VERY strongly towards wanting one. As others have said it's our right to choose how to birth our child so I dont see us coming against much of a wall. Xx

@MyGrassIsBrowner that's so true, good luck and please let me know how you get on :) xx

@jessicakxx thank you chick! Good luck to you too, you'll be fine! Let me know how you get on too 😊 xx

Haven’t had one so can’t help there but have requested one and had my consultant appointment! This is my first baby and it’s purely for fear of all those things happening that I’ve opted for one, always had a really strong feeling all my life that I’d die giving birth and I shouldn’t do it and there’s no way of anyone telling me otherwise 🙈 I was warned that my consultant can be quite dismissive and will try to talk you out of it. It was just a telephone appointment due to covid but I had 5 pages of typed notes ready for her with the NICE guidelines, quotes from birth rights etc 😂 I was shaking on the phone telling her all my reasons why I wanted one but she was actually really nice. She said she can’t tell me I’m not allowed one, said she’d get it booked in at our next appointment. Felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me! I would go on the nhs website and write down the risks. That’s what I did and quoted them back to her as she tried to scare me off it. I just said yes to everything and she was trying to make it sound like all these risks were 100% definitely going to happen to me. It was all very one-sided when no one reads you out all the awful things that can (and very often do) happen during a natural birth. I didn’t bother arguing that these risks are actually the risks of everyone who’s ever had a section so all the already high-risk women who need an elective plus all the women who end up in life-threatening situations trying to give birth naturally and are then rushed to theatre for an emergency section. I just said ‘yip, fine’ to everything to get it over with. I’ve been sent a booklet with the risks (just to scare me some more) and a booklet about the two options for anaethestic during it (spinal or general). I’m meeting with her in person to give her the completed forms back and to get the date booked in. The other thing I asked was what happens if your c-section list ends up full that week and the other people take priority because they have a greater medical need? I was asking because that’s exactly what happened to my friend and she was told very late on that they were too busy to fit her in 🤦🏼‍♀️ She reassured me that wouldn’t happen and she will be able to give me a date for definite at the next appointment. I would just say go in prepared for who you might get. I had really built mine up to be much worse than it was!

@sarah13xx that's absolutely brilliant I am so happy for you! Where did you do your research from to make your notes? I might do the same as I am better with notes! Xxx

@sarah13xx well that sounded like a breeze for you then woah!! It was one sided when I spoke to the midwife initially and she basically tried telling me there is no way I'll be accepted for one, so I sure am prepared for a bit of a dressing down in terms of risks etc with the consultant. I feel very strongly about having one and I will certainly fight my case. My concern was that as well.. I worry about going into labour before my section is due as this is my second baby and I only had a 4.5 hour labour first time. They say generally second labours can be quicker so it would be a rush emergency c-section for me if that was the case (quite possibly anyway) but these are all questions I'll ask when I speak to her.
I'm certainly nervous and I know I'll probably have a good blub if I'm initially refused.

@jessicakxx aw thank you! Definitely.. even if it has been in person I was scared I was going to go in and end up being bullied into accepting something I didn’t want and I’d have no comeback to any of it so I needed it written down infront of me 🙈 before I even got pregnant I looked up my hospital on here and found out how many maternal request sections they’d granted:
www.birthrights.org.uk/campaigns-research/maternal-request-caesarean/
I quoted that to her as well as some of the other facts that are on there. Also used the official risks the NHS list in case they told me those weren’t the risks, most of which say uncommon or rare. It seems an infection is the main one that’s more common. Printed some of the NICE guidelines so I had that and could ask to be referred elsewhere if she wasn’t willing to approve it but didn’t have to use it in the end. I found getting the midwife to eventually refer me was a harder slog than the actual appointment. I was so anxious and told her from 6 weeks there was just no other alternative, phoned her up at one point saying I was now waking up during the night worrying because I was past 20 weeks and still hadn’t been referred 🙈 it was actually a different midwife who I had at my 22 week appointment and she could see how anxious I was getting just talking about it so she referred me there and then. Good luck.. hope you get it! X

@MyGrassIsBrowner it’s crazy it even says on NHS website about the NICE guidelines yet some midwives seem to be hell bent on you giving birth naturally, no matter what! Yip I asked about what happens if I go early too, which is maybe less likely for me with my first. She basically said from 37 weeks they’d do my section as normal but if he was to be early they’d try to delay it etc, I presume so they can give you the steroids first. She did say they’d try to encourage me to do it vaginally if he was before 37 weeks due to the mucus in the lungs being pushed out better during a natural birth. I’m just going to cross that bridge if I come to it (which I hopefully don’t)! I feel so relieved I’ve got through the initial appointment and she’s willing to do it but I think I will feel better once she gives me the date so I feel like it’s definitely happening and will be able to say if I go in early that I have one booked (so cut me open right now please 🤣). Good luck with the appointment, hope you get it. It shouldn’t bring us this much stress just to be able to give birth the way we choose if we’ve done all the research into it! X

@sarah13xx In once sense I can understand why they try and advocate natural births. However, it's clear a lot of lasting effects for some women i.e prolapses etc are caused through natural births, especially for first time mothers. Forceps is the one thing I fear most and I've pretty much had written on my notes that under no circumstances are they used on me. I dont think anything good has ever come from the use of forceps. They are barbaric.

I hope you get a date decided soon! And thank you! I'll make sure I update the thread after my appointment! 😊 xx

@MyGrassIsBrowner yeah I have said that before.. apparently 1/3 of first time mums need forceps and 90% will tear!! Those odds are horrific 🙈 One of the main things my consultant kept saying about was the risk of having to return to surgery after a c-section but I’ve had friends who haven’t healed properly after a natural birth for months and also those who have bled so much during it they’ve had to be rushed to theatre. None of these things involved a c-section 🤷🏼‍♀️ I get why they can’t just have people waltzing in asking for one at the drop of a hat but I think the cost difference between natural and c-section must be one of their main factors in swaying people into natural, plus the fact once you’ve had one you’re highly likely to end up costing them the same again for another one. Some peoples idea of hell is a c-section though and they probably feel the same way about that as I feel about a natural birth so it’s each to their own and people should definitely be able to make informed choices without being made to feel even more anxious about it. So glad I’ve had a relatively positive experience of it so far, just hope the actual section goes as smoothly 🙈

I’m sure you will be fine, keep us updated x

@sarah13xx The statistics are actually quite frightening aren't they. What upsets me the most with natural births is how little post partum is spoke about. I lost 485mls of blood during my birth, pretty sure 500mls is classed as a haemorrage. I was passing VERY large clots afterwards and it was so scary. I did keep calling the midwives for advice but they said unless I'm passing out, get used to it basically.
I think the main big issue with C-sections is infection afterwards, but personally I think that's down to how well you look after it and how active you try to be. If you over exert yourself, chances are you're gonna have issues. At the same time though, so many women seem to bounce back quicker from a section than natural birth. It took me literal MONTHS to be able to sit down properly without wincing. I used to have to prop myself up at an angle as to not put any pressure on my bits.

Understandably we'll be anxious about the actual procedure and hoping it goes smoothly lol! X

@MyGrassIsBrowner oh no, that sounds horrific 🤦🏼‍♀️ I think you’re more likely to have that and to keep having heavy bleeding for weeks with a natural birth whereas the elective section stories I’ve heard they’ve said they kind of clean you out after it so it stops after 2 weeks a lot of the time and is much lighter. Yeah I think as long as you’re geared up for taking it easy afterwards then itl be fine. Weirdly I would way rather have pain in my stitches there than be like you and struggle to sit down for months. My friend said it was 2 months before she could sit or lift her leg to get in the bath without crying 🙈 I feel like I’d have more dignity with visitors etc appearing if the pain is my stomach rather than down there! They definitely sell you a natural birth as if you skip out of hospital afterwards though, when that hasn’t been the case for any of my friends. The consultant literally mentioned a natural birth once at my appointment and it was ‘you can have a nice easy natural birth or… you can die during a section basically’. Eh not sure that’s a fair comparison 🤔😂
Yeah, I’m hoping the relief of having it and not having to go through labour will be enough to keep me calm on the day. Just keep imagining my alarm going that morning and the drive there though.. will be very weird knowing in advance 🙈x

@SingingWaffleDoggyi feel like I could have written your post myself even down to wondering if I’d ever feel better on day 3. I also went home the next day and the car journey was awful. My baby is 3 weeks old today so good to know you were driving by 4 weeks. Did you need to get signed off from the doctor to drive?

@sarah13xx Honestly, it was awful. I remember crying so much those first few weeks and my partner ended up doing so much for baby and had to keep up with washing and looking after our dog as I was pretty much housebound. I've got really bad SPD at the moment and I'm in so much pain and it's probably gonna get worse the heavier I get and I just know that there is no way I can even bare thinking about giving birth naturally
I'm bloody exhausted as it is. And to be very honest I'm looking forward to the hospital stay for a bit of bloody rest bite!
If I feel anything like I did before, this time round I'll be totally f*cked having two to look after. I'm very determined and I'll want to be back up and running as soon as I can (within reason of course) I'm a SAHM so I'm just naturally used to running round the house like a loon and I get frustrated when I cant do as much as I normally would.
HA if they say to me 'you can have a nice easy natural birth' they will get an earful 😂

I totally know what you mean!! Will be so strange waking up in the morning knowing potentially your baby is going to be here that day... it's crazy. I'm going to ask them about my own music being played in the theatre and if they can lower the curtain when she's born. I did say to my partner that I would love to be able to pull her out myself but I wont repeat what he called me 😅 and I highly doubt that'd be allowed 🤣 xx

I had a ELCS not due to maternal request but because my baby was breech. I stayed in for 2 nights - They would have discharged me after 1 but I didn't feel like I would have managed at home (we have very steep stairs) and also wanted access to stronger pain relief which I couldn't get at home (oramorph). I'm pregnant with #2 and have been told they will grant me a repeat ELCS if I want one.

@wimbler How did you find the procedure overall? Did you recover quick?

@sarah13xx thank you that's all really helpful. I've just looked and it says the hosp I'm going to says number of maternal request sections: 244, is that a good number or low?

Going to write some notes next week in prep for my app on the 21st. Not sure what my app is going to entail as it's my first consultant app but I'm sure at the end he'll ask if I have any Qs and then I will bring it up xx

@MyGrassIsBrowner the procedure was incredibly calm and positive. it's not what I wanted but we were able to make the best out of it. I'd done hypnobirthing so had a list of preferences they were only too happy to accommodate like my heart monitors were placed on my back so I had a clear chest for skin to skin immediately after she was born. we were able to take music in as well to play which was nice.

The surgical team were lovely and there was lots of chatting and telling me what was happening. my husband was amazing at distracting me. as others have said, I found the spinal the worst as i struggled to get into the position they needed and i got a little panicked but once it was in it was fine.

Recovery wise the first 4 days were tough. You have no core strength whatsoever so getting around is tough. baby was born at 4.30pm and was catheterised until 6am the following morning at which point I was told to get up and walk around. it was very sore but it did ease with gentle movements. Trapped wind was horrendous from surgery but they gave me peppermint oil for that. it didn't affect my milk supply either. Mine came in on day 3.

I was expecting the bleeding to be less for some reason - definitely not, I bled on and off for 5 weeks - heavy for the first week then lighter afterwards. by day 4 i was able to go for a little walk and by 7-10 days i was probably at about 60% mobile. 100% by 6 weeks.

@jessicakxx well mine was a lot less than that so it’s probably a bigger hospital but that definitely sounds reassuring! Is it rated red, amber or green? Mine was amber! I think they’ve obviously improved their policies a bit since that was done. It was just my initial telephone appointment ive had, going to meet her in person in a couple of weeks. I think from what I’d heard she tries to leave it very vague after the first appointment and kind of passes you further down the line then sees you again at 36 weeks or later (my friend was 37 and still didn’t know) so I was frantically asking questions about what would happen if I went early and when I’d get a date. I think she could tell I wasn’t going to relax to be told to wait another few weeks so gave me my appointment to book the date at 33 weeks! Hopefully you’ll get it agreed soon and be able to find out the date x

@wimbler Thanks for sharing that lovely. Even though it wasn't what you wanted it sounds like you had a lovely experience of it overall.
Can I ask re the bleeding, did you pass clots (sorry tmi) I passed large clots for a few weeks with my vaginal birth and sometimes it was quite traumatic.

Wow 6 weeks is good going. By the end of week 6 I will still in a considerable amount of pain x

@sarah13xx it is rated green; what does that mean?

This app is to discuss my care going forwards as I have now been switched to full consultant care as opposed to midwife due to my Papp-a levels. So I'm guessing it's just going to go through what to expect and he tells me abit about himself and maybe discuss anything else relating to my care going forward. So it's not to do with my birthing options, but no harm in mentioning it on our introduction as atleast he knows my intentions! Xx

@MyGrassIsBrowner oh no! I can’t even imagine having been told I have to do it naturally and then feeling like that after 🤦🏼‍♀️ I would hate myself and everyone else, probably couldn’t even think about looking after a baby! Aw that sounds awful ☹️ I’ve been so lucky the whole way through, had very little pain at all. Keep waiting for it to get bad but I’m now on the 8 week countdown thinking surely nothing bad can happen now 🙈 haha the hospital will feel like a spa day for you! Yip going to be very strange! Even thinking I will have 6 weeks to keep the date a secret for too and my mum is already desperate to know when it will be, making guesses etc! Going to ban anyone from talking about it so I don’t give it away 😂 haven’t told his family it’s going to be a section yet and actually don’t want a conversation about it or any kind of judgement so feel like I’m just going to be vague so it’s a surprise when hopefully he arrives at 39 weeks before they’re expecting it! I think most places allow you to have your own music on. I did a mini mindfulness course for c-section on the mindful birth group website. You can have a ‘gentle c-section’ where they can lower the drapes right down and bring the baby out slowly for you to see them first. I’m not great with blood at the best of times so think il just wait and get a look at him once he’s out 😂x

@jessicakxx aw that’s great news then! They obviously have proper policies in place for what happens when someone requests one and they stick to the NICE guidelines so I don’t think you’ll have a problem there! X

I had an ELCS for similar reasons to you

I went in armed with all my facts but the consultation just offered one straight away

I had been seeing a private woman’s pelvic floor physio for a while before hand who had already written to him to say I needed a CS due to current pelvic floor issue from DS1