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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Grrr people at work comparing bumps

21 replies

micegg · 20/11/2007 09:47

I am just venting! Prior to falling pregnant I was a size 12 and by my own admission a bit chubby (10lbs overweight) but hardly huge. I am pregnant at the same time as several other women at work and am bigger than some of them who are further along than me. I am getting so tired of the comments like "so and so has such a neat bump. Must be because they are so slim" blah blah. Its driving me nuts. So basically what they are saying is I am fat. I wouldnt describe myself as huge but I do have biggish babies. I am 5'4" and DD was nearly 9lbs . Then there is the bump rubbing, don't get me started on the bump rubbing. Oh and the "fatty" or "who ate all the pies" comments. I am 21 weeks and only put on 6lbs so far.

I feel better now. Thanks

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bratnav · 20/11/2007 09:50

If it makes you feel any better, I constantly got asked if I was expectng twins. When I fell pg I was about the same as you, perhaps 10lb overweight, the locum GP who examined me at 12 weeks put in my notes 'could not feel uterus due to obesity'

Original poster

micegg · 20/11/2007 09:51

Re: GP charming! . 10lbs overweight is hardly obese. Bloody cheek.

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lulalullabye · 20/11/2007 09:54

I would have slapped the gp. My friends gp when she went to see him 6wks post twins told her that she should really tone up her tummy !!

bratnav · 20/11/2007 10:01

And given that I had actually been in hospital for hyperemesis and had actually lost 7lbs by the time I saw him....

I was livid, told my MW and she put in a complaint to the practice about him, he didn't come back afaik!

scorpio1 · 20/11/2007 10:08

my bump is apparently 'neat' and 'oh, arent you small', i hate it when people coment because all it does is make people worry.

Ignore it. i just smile sweetly and say something like 'well it wont look like this in 2 months time'.

^lbs is no weight at all, and you were not a fatty before by any stretch! Enjoy being pg, its for such a short time.

dal21 · 20/11/2007 10:10

The best advice I was given was from my MW and OBS at 12 week mark. Ignore all helpful advice and comments. When you are pregnant (irrespective of bump size) people feel they have to comment.

TBH - I was like one of your colleagues. Slim and very neat bump. As I headed off on mat leave, everyone was shocked as they didnt realised how far along I was. I didnt find any of their comments about the smallness/ neatness of my bump flattering - especially once there were concerns that DS was a little on the small side (he wasnt in the end), but nevertheless their comments became a source of stress.

Ignore them all (idiots) and enjoy this time - people need to learn to stay quiet around pregnant women. Congrats on your pregnancy! and well done on only 6lb weight gain thus far!

StealthPolarBear · 20/11/2007 10:15

omg
10lb obese!!!

I think each of my legs is prob 10lb overweight

ConnorTraceptive · 20/11/2007 10:15

I was a nice neat bumper too, didn't stop ds being a 10 ponder with a head circumferance that was off the chart. The smugness went out with my pelvic floor and nice tidy fanjo. (that Dr could not sew for toffee)

ConnorTraceptive · 20/11/2007 10:16

10 pounder even

Original poster

micegg · 20/11/2007 10:32

Thanks ladies

I have to stop myself from making comments back to these people. One person in particular always maked the "who ate all the pies" comment to which I reply "quite clearly you". Love it. Fair enough seeing as he is about 5 stone overweight. DH brother in law who is obese also started making comments to which I pointed out I had along way to go before I caught up with him and I was pregnant where as he was just fat. Never seen someone looked so . Anyone got any other helpful retorts as I am always prepared to use them rather than go for the polit ignore them tactic.

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Bouncingturtle · 20/11/2007 10:51

"I'm pregnant - what's your excuse?"
I was a size 16 before I fell pg, now 35 weeks and have put on about 2 stone!! You are definitely not fat! I'm convinced that as soon as you fall pg people see this as a licence to make the most offensive comments they can to you.

Canadiandream · 20/11/2007 10:59

I totally sympathise - size comments really wound me up when pg with ds cos I had a big bump. I'm only 10 weeks now so no comments yet but I'm bracing myself!

My sil was the worst - she used to say - "you're so fat" (great for someone who used to have an eating disorder to hear!!) and her favourite "you must be having twins" etc etc when in fact she's the one who's at least 5 stone overweight.

It bothered me but I always measured right for the number of weeks and ds was only 7lb2oz!

excitedm2b · 20/11/2007 13:10

I keep getting comments about how small I still am (now 27 weeks) which was beginning to worry me. Someone at work even told me they thought I was making it up as they couldn't tell!! My midwife told me to just tell people to mind their own business and that LO and I were perfectly fine. More recently I am now getting the odd comment like 'you're really getting bigger now' to which I tend to respond 'thats the general idea'. Most people seem to think they have to say something about your size unfortunately and don't seem to have a clue it is quite upsetting to either imply someone is fat or that they aren't growing their baby enough. Ignore them all (except to make rude retorts to people who really ARE fat and don't have an excuse like mice says!!)

chunkypudding · 20/11/2007 13:41

Am I the only one who gets equal amounts of both comments??

'God you're huge!!!' or 'what a neat bump, you haven't gained at all!!!'

SOMEONE is obviously wrong!

Worst one I had was the other day when a friend's bloke, after saying I didn't look that big, said - 'oh no actually your arse is pretty fat' I'm told that he thought this was humour.... (I'm actually still size 12 below the bump, was 10 before - at 5'8 thats not bad...)

micegg a snappy reply for you to any comments - how about 'JUST FUCK OFF!!!!' says it all really xx

Original poster

micegg · 20/11/2007 15:12

micegg a snappy reply for you to any comments - how about 'JUST FUCK OFF!!!!' says it all really xx

Thing is - I probably will. I can be very rude (when required) when I am pregnant (and when not to honest). Seem to have my tact button switched off for 9 months. I am told by my friends that I came out with some classics last time.

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ManchesterMummy · 20/11/2007 15:34

I had from someone due 5 days before me: "My bump is so neat, whereas yours is more of an "all over bump" and you've put the weight on everywhere...". The worst thing about this comment was that this woman was a size 20 to start with...

I now have a 6 week-old DD, and my mother is still obssessed by my weight. Every time I see her is "how's the weight loss coming?". Which is blinking awful in itself but I have been extremely blessed in that I have lost a huge amount since DD was born and just look like I've eaten one too many pies (actually, make that one too many Maltesers which is true...) So alas the comments seem to keep coming even after the birth!

Bizarrely though I had the opposite problem while pregnant: some thought I wasn't big enough (DD was 7lb 7oz which was plenty big enough thanks). Once you get to the point at which the MW measures your tummy, you'll be able to tell everyone that you're the absolute perfect size.

I'd like to start a "Pregnant Women Are NOT Public Property Movement". Ooh this pregnant lady harassment does make me mad!

Original poster

micegg · 20/11/2007 15:46

People say some very odd things to pregnant women don't they? If its not horror birth stories it's telling you what you must do about such and such or commenting on how big/small you are or rubbing your bloody stomach. One of the best was last time when one woman at work asked me to turn round so I had my back to her. To which she said " you dont look pregnant from the back" WTF???
Who the hell looks pregnant from the back. I think she need an anatomy lesson.

OP posts:

chunkypudding · 20/11/2007 16:05

I got told that my face doesn't look pregnant

TiredMummyNow · 20/11/2007 17:28

I tried the "am expecting quins" today, really, really, fed up of strangers saying "you're ready to drop" and when they ask the due date and I say about a planned c-section they assume loudly because it's because I am big.. (and it's not!)

It's getting me so down at times, I want to go into hibernation, actually it's a bit complicated lately because I've started a thread in the health about pregnancy and overeating, but as usual am probably talking to thin air or the odd person who is passing and is polite to drop a message

(yeah, full of happy thoughts here, apologies )

Zola78 · 20/11/2007 20:22

I am 33 wks pregnant and my sil is 37 weeks and she insists on comparing our bumps and our weight gain. This is her first pregnancy, my third. I can't help thinking she's doing it because she's upset that we are pregnant at the same time. I say that because everyone else has been saying how well I look etc (not in her presence all the time) so can everyone else be wrong and her comments be true? I don't think so.

I'm dreading after the babies are born. I can see it's gonna be a race as to who can get back their pre-pregnancy weight first.

rascal1979 · 20/11/2007 20:26

I've just been to see my best friend she is due 2 weeks before me but looks about 3 months further on - everyone is different just seems that non-pregnant people can't get their head around that and feel that they have to compare us as though we should all be exactly the same......that said I am V JEALOUS of her bump it's fab!

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