Anyone had a gender preference then had the other?

[abcdefhgj]

I’m earlyish in my pregnancy, however I do have a preference regarding wether I’d like a boy or a girl (which I feel so guilty for!)

I’m aware that the babies sex is out of my control so I am not worrying over it, I have booked a private early gender scan just in case the sex of the baby isn’t what I wanted and I have time to ‘get over it’ per say.

I just wondered if anyone on here had a preference and ended up having the opposite? And how did you deal with it? Just in case things don’t go how I would like (gender wise - the ultimate wish for our baby is that they are happy and healthy)

Yes, both times! I always wanted a boy, and the doctor told us that first pregnancy was a boy. We had the name all ready, boys outfits, then DD popped out! Bit of a shock but once she was here it really didn't matter.

Second pregnancy I really wanted a girl and imagined myself with my two girls. I had a huge, hairy boy

Hi lovely @abcdefhgj. Just to warn you there are a few threads that I’ve come across around gender preference and mumsnet users don’t tend to take well to them! Just in case you get a couple of short/abrupt responses.

At first I didn’t have a preference, and then family members made reference to a specific gender throughout because of old wives tales etc! So I got used to the idea, and could see OH getting a little excited. So when we found out our gender, which was indeed the opposite, I was surprised. I can’t say disappointed because we had an mc before now, I can’t honestly say how I felt. I was going with the mindset of hoping there was still a heartbeat! I guess I was more worried about OH and how he would feel. As silly as it sounds, time has gone on and I’m absolutely fine with it now and am just happy everything is ok so far. You’re absolutely right we have no control over gender, and so we go into this a bit blind but there is an element of acceptance that you’re given what you’re given.

Allow yourself time to take it in. Don’t feel guilty, there’s no textbook way to act/feel/behave in pregnancy. And everyone is entitled to their opinion so don’t take offence to other peoples views. Everyone has their own experience, and perspective on pregnancy. You just have to continue to keep an open mind and just remind yourself that a healthy baby is most important, and once the gender has been revealed you will have plenty of time to get used to the idea. And as I said I feel perfectly happy now. It’s just a matter of time. And no doubt once your baby arrives you will just feel an outpouring of love. For me this is my first baby, so we can’t possibly say how we’re going to feel about something we’ve yet to experience!! If this isn’t your first baby then obviously I can’t comment, it’s just a what will be will be situ! Once you accept it’s out of your control it should feel a little easier xxx

Both times. Wanted a girl, got the most wonderful boy. Wanted another one like him, got a very different but equally wonderful girl.

I think i wanted a girl because I didnt really know what to do with a boy(am one of e girls, went to a girls school and girl guides). It turns out that playing trains is quite fun, as is various lego, nerf guns, hot wheels and now roblox. Dd quite liked trains too, but I get to take her to family scouts and do more outside things and more music. I was looking forward to doing hair but she hatea me touching it!

Honestly youll just love their personality.

Honestly, yes - I did want a girl. Ds is an absolute sweetie though.

I wanted boys and got girls - my advice would be to not find out as you will be happy when they are here!

Yes. I desperately wanted 3 girls and ended up with 2 boys so haven't risked a 3rd! I chose not to have a gender scan at all as my feeling was it was a boy both times and I knew I would be disappointed. The joy of giving birth is that by the time it was over I couldn't have cared less what popped out by the end!

I wanted boys and got one of each.

I decided not to find out in advance what I was having. I knew that once baby was here I wouldn't care and would just love it anyway. I was also lucky in that DC1 is a boy so it made DC2 being a girl easier.

My little girl is fabulous and I just love her to bits. She's so clever and cute. I'm really pleased now that I have one of each.

Both me and OH had preference for a girl, but at 20 week scan they went through checking everything was ok etc before getting to the sex of the baby part, and tbh as soon as they said everything was fine at that point I really didn’t care about sex... good job as I’m having a boy haha, but we are both really looking forward to meeting him ❤️

Thank you for your stories everyone :)

I did think about waiting but I am quite impatient and so is DH! First grandchild on both sides so both families are excited to know too

I am hoping I get my preference but at the end of the day I’d rather baby be healthy than a certain gender :)

What if it isn't "healthy" ?

What does "healthy" mean?

Happy and loved is ideal

@Embracelife when I say healthy I mean no life threatening conditions. But also good health in general - nothing wrong wishing for that. I would hate my child to be sick in anyway or have a condition that they’d suffer from.

It’s quite normal to wish your child is healthy, they’ll be loved regardless :)

I wanted a boy and got him. My family all desperately wanted a girl for my second (we have a very boy heavy family) and I wanted one too, was told she's a girl at the 20 week scan but as time has gone on I really couldn't care less. I will laugh if a boy pops out

I did, my family all have girls and so I always assumed I would too. When I found out I was pregnant I started picturing a wee girl and I was a little disappointed when I found out at 16 weeks I was having a boy.

He is now 3 weeks old and asleep on my chest - I love him so much and I am just so grateful to have him here, I'm not disappointed in the slightest.

Ignore PP, they knew fine well what you meant when you said healthy - of course everyone wishes that for their child

I had my first boy in 2018 which is what I wanted and we found out at 16 weeks.

I had my second child in November and my partner didn't want to find out , i wanted a girl and I thought it was a girl too. My parents announced at the birth it was in fact a boy & I instantly fell in love and it didn't matter, was quite annoyed with myself that I felt different in my pregnancy

Gender is a frequently changing thing for some and nobody is born a certain gender. Gender is based on sexist, regressive stereotypes. Sex however, that's one of two things, and can't change.

I would have liked a daughter but it helped me to think about why that was, rather than just see it as a preference. For me it was about when the child grew up and would we lose contact if it was a son and various other things all based around my own family dynamics. Maybe helpful to think it through if you haven't already? You might realise it comes down to personality rather than the babies sex / based on stereotypes that may not be fulfilled / etc.

Anyway, I have a little boy and I wouldn't trade him for the world. In fact I'm expecting again and would quite like another boy! Like you, a healthy baby is what I hope for.

@FlatteredFool I do know the difference. I’ve mentioned gender as that’s usually what the private scans are called

When I had my PFB I knew I wanted him to be a boy, I wanted all my children to be boys. I have no relationship with DM, I don't know what a healthy DM/DD relationship looks like (a whole other thread right there) so I wanted DSs. I made the decision NOT to find out early in case it was a DD and I would spend the rest of my pregnancy resenting her or worrying. Kept it a surprise for the birth, thought I wouldn't care either way after I had squeezed a human through my fanjo! He was a DS, as was baby No 2. I risked a third had a third identical pregnancy, was certain I was going to be surrounded by gorgeous boys, but stuck to my theory that I wouldn't find out for sure so I didn't worry/resent/overthink. DD was a real surprise, I wouldn't change her for the world, she is an absolute dreamboat and my boys are the actual best!!

When I went for my gender scan the girl who came out before I went in was crying. After she left the people at the scan clinic said she had wanted a girl and it was a boy! So it’s obviously a common occurrence 🙈 I’ve always wanted a girl but at the same time also known I’d want more than one child so really wasn’t bothered what the first one was. I’m having a boy and I’m glad we found out the gender rather than waiting til he is born because I’ve had time to process it all. I think the gender on the day would have been too much of a shock for me! Just pleased he is healthy and feel so lucky to have had a straightforward time of it