Want a boy but think I’m having a girl

[Sagittarius2021]

Please no judgment here I feel so guilty for having a preference in the first place and now especially

I’m about 10 weeks pregnant with mine and DP first baby and I’ve always wanted a boy first and I think I’m having a girl

I tried to not obsess over it and wait until it’s time to find out however I seen a psychic (please no skeptical comments, if you don’t believe I respect that) who said my first born child will be a baby girl and even said my due date month. I would brush it off but she has rave reviews from everyone and is rarely wrong

This has sent me into a panic and made me want to spend money to get private blood testing to confirm this

I know I’ll be a bit disappointed if it’s a girl because I want a boy so much but I want as much time as possible to deal with it so my disappointment goes away plenty of time before they arrive (this is if baby is indeed a girl)

For anyone wondering why I don’t want a girl. I really struggled growing up, I had no confidence, I had an eating disorder from primary school until nearly the end of secondary school. This led to severe anxiety and body dysmorphia which focused even on my facial looks rather than just body. I feel like being a girl/woman is so much harder and I don’t mean to stereotype I know boys can have a hard time growing up and have the exact same things I suffered from. I just had it built in my mind having a boy first. Please try not to judge I feel bad enough

I had my first baby last week, I really really wanted a particular sex, I’m not going to lie. We found dealing with this was to simply not find out. By the time your baby actually arrives, you couldn’t care less! I would absolutely not find out the sex again, ignorance is bliss!

I had the same thoughts as you back in January when I was 10 weeks pregnant. I had a NIPT (not to find out the sex, just for peace of mind because of my age) and we found out it's a little girl. I am 38 weeks now and I have since not only got used to the idea but have started to bond with her so much. I understand your feelings and I hope both of us do a great job teaching our daughters to love themselves ❤️

*if you're having a girl that is :)

@tukanada

If you are in the UK, testing to reveal sex is rightly only legal when there is a risk of serious genetic (x-linked) disease.

Are you sure about this?! You find out the sex from an amniocentesis.

Hey @Sagittarius2021 sorry for all that you’ve been through, it sounds very tough and I hope you’re in a better place now. No judgement at all.

I understand the worries that come with having a girl, but I can assure you no matter what you have you’ll love him/her unconditionally once they arrive.

If it means you’re better prepared mentally then by all means get a private scan done. The blood test can be very expensive, would you be able to hold off until 16 weeks and have a private gender scan then x

I was so scared to have a girl, for similar reasons to you. I think you need to recognise that this is a FEAR not a preference. You are scared of History repeating itself and you don’t want to have to be the parent to try to guide your daughter through those awful times. I can honestly say my daughter is amazing wonderful confident and completely unlike me! Your child will not be a mini version of you; they will be their whole complete self and you will love them completely and unconditionally x

Gender disappointment is a very real feeling. I have two boys and was very disappointed at the scan when I found out second was a boy. He’s now 3 and honestly could not even imagine having a girl. We’re trying for our third now and I actually think I want another boy (actually a lot to do with money saving with clothes / toys etc 🤣) however I know for a fact I won’t be disappointed with either sex. I know a couple of people who have struggled to conceive and had multiple miscarriages or problems with their pregnancy. Puts absolutely everything into perspective and makes you so grateful to have healthy children and/or to be having a healthy baby.

I am having exactly the same feelings like now. I'm pregnant with my second and I'm convinced it's my second and final boy. I know it's wrong but I always wanted a girl and have always imagined myself with a baby girl. I ordered sneek peek but haven't had the balls to do it yet. Haven't told my partner. Another thing that's making me feel worse is, my family is full of boys and a few family members have made comments about hoping the baby is a girl. I really hope others aren't disappointed if it's confirmed a boy. I'm going to find out to get used to the idea too. Overall I hope my baby is healthy obviously that's the main thing.

I was terrified at the prospect of having a girl - I struggled with confidence and body image, I'm not terribly feminine and I worried about being a bad example to learn from. I have a DD who is far braver and more confident than me and teams her favourite dinosaur t-shirt with either her sparkly Elsa handbag or her Thomas the Tank engine backpack. My own experiences mean I am more mindful of how I talk to her so I don't pass stuff on (my mum has appalling self-image and body issues) but I can't imagine not having a daughter - she is amazing

I've also had this thought, it seems shameful because people think that's a horrible thing to want when it's not, you have a close personal and justifiable reason for your preference. I've lived in cultures where the dark joke "are we having a boy or an abortion" is a real thing because it showed status, that's a deplorable excuse and should be shameful.
We all fear for our children and in the back of our heads we consider boys to be tougher. That's not unreasonable and if you think your daughter will suffer the same troubles as you, you would recognize it and help her through it, it will make you both stronger.

@tukanada, what rubbish! I had a harmony blood test at 11wks. It is first and foremost testing the chromosomes for disorders such as DS and ES but obviously in testing the chromosomes, the sex becomes clear. They asked me if I wanted the sex revealed on my report. Apart from these tests, most sonographers are happy to reveal the sex at the 20wk scan.

All I wanted was a healthy baby, my dd was born not breathing and had to be resuscitated and put on a ventilator at birth. Major surgery 8 days later and has needed close to 80 surgeries and has more booked in for this year. I didn't care what sex she was or any of my other 3 girls. I think having my eldest made me realise how precious life is and how quickly you can lose everything. 😢

My sil wanted a girl and was devastated when she was told she was having a boy and I honestly wanted to smack her as he was healthy and she was sobbing her heart out because she wanted a girl! (She already had a dd)

I’m going to go against the grain and say don’t find out. I thought I was having girls, had no idea what I would do with a boy. I found out at birth and honestly have never been disappointed in my boys.

I was certain I was having a girl. There are very few boys in my family so I just assumed the same would be true for us.

I found out at 18 weeks we were having a boy. I was a little disappointed if I'm honest but it passed. By the time he was born I was so excited to meet him and now I can't imagine having any other child.

Whatever the outcome OP it'll be fine.

I agree @Springchickpea. I didn't with either of mine (DH wanted a surprise) but I have had several friends who were miserable during their pregnancy because they weren't getting what they wanted. You can't do anything about it, so why make it harder on yourself?