Anyone's partner not live in the same city?

[Mamaux]

I have recently found out that I am expecting. It was a shock and has happened just as I was about to embark on a new career. My partner doesn't live in the same city (only 40 minutes away though). He wants the baby, yet when I try and discuss what is going to happen he says he will be around 'most of the time'. I then get upset and he says we will dicuss it another time. But I feel I'm running out of time to discuss it later. I'm expected to give up my entire life, yet he won't even consider commuting. I've brought one child up on my own (who is now 15) and I really don't want to do it again.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did they turn a corner in the end or did you end up doing it all on your own?

Xx

Hmmm he says you will discuss it another time? Giving him the benefit of the doubt, you say that you have only recently found out so maybe he is feeling overwhelmed and needs a little time to get his head around it. Have you been together long? Is he usually a good partner?

Sounds like he's not in it with you atm, if he isn't willing to compromise then you may have to prepare to be a single parent. Given time he may come around and rethink his position on the matter.

I live most days like a single parent as my husband is in the military, he was when I met him though so I knew the deal. He is here when he can be and commutes very long distance often just for a couple of days at home. The distance thing can work.

Thank you!

I think he is still slightly shocked. We have been together 14 months and he is a good partner. I think what he wants is for my son and I to drop everything and live with him. I can't do that as I am starting a new job in Sept and will need to go back full time to it for another 2 years to fully qualify. My son is at that age where it wouldn't be good to drag him out of school to start afresh.

I think he will come around, as when I get upset about it he changes his mind and says he will do whatever is needed. But the fact he keeps slipping in this 'mostly' word makes me panic. It will be his first child so I don't think he truly knows the implications of how difficult it can be. He seems to think that things will remain like they are now, where I will go and see him every weekend (with a baby in tow).

I'm just worried that I will end up doing it all on my own again - which I can do - but I wanted it to be different this time xx