Really scared & shocked rather than ecstatic - am I normal?

[Justmeouthere]

I’m new here. We just found out we are about 7-8 weeks. It’s a bit of a shock because it was the first ever and only time my husband and I didn’t use contraception. I had assumed it would take months and months because I’m in my late 30’s. But bam!
Anyway I just don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. I was just getting used to the idea of trying after being ambivalent, and now I’m in the thick of it. Did anyone else feel like this? I feel guilty for not having tears of joy. I’m worried my life will be turned upside down and I won’t love the baby. Please don’t be horrible in replies.

There was no good to come of this sarcastic, snarky reply. Any decent human can see that this is a raw, honest post from somebody in distress. I hope your anonymous trolling on the Internet made you feel good.

@Bumblebeetree21

Hi, I would echo what most have said about being in shock, as it is such a life changing thing. I'm 17 weeks now and feeling much more positive (and easier to think without the sickness and tiredness) and now feeling excited, although still apprehensive. After finding out I was pregnant I found talking to a couple of close friends who are mums really helpful and also spoke to the most wonderful midwife at BPAS, who talked me through my various worries - I'm in my 40's and was worried about my age. Also talked to someone at Mary Stopes and a work counselling service. Talk you time and try not to judge yourself for the way you are feeling.

Thanks for replying bumble, and sorry to hear you’ve had the same mixed feelings. I will try the BPA’s. I think you’re really good to talk in a crate with people that understand my actually help, and I’m not some of these irrational anxieties. it’s just the feeling of being suddenly alone, and thrown into an NHS process that assumes you know what you’re doing which feels quite isolating. I just don’t know when I’m expected to feel excited.

Thank you to all the kind people who replied with constructive and empathetic responses.

I've had 3 youngest is 11 months. I was the same for everyone!
It's that moment when your baby is born.
You don't know true love until then.

We planned and took us a while (conceived just after 40th bday) but it still came as a shock, you're somehow expected by all health care workers to intuitively know what to do next, but you do get information at your booking appointment (which you book through your local hospital) and makes things a bit less helpless.

Honestly although the milestones of the 12 and 20th week scans were a relief, and feeling him kick were exciting I don't think I actually bonded or felt magical until a day or two after he was born. It felt like it was happening to someone else. I still don't like other people's kids but mine is awesome.