Maternity leave when my DH WFH

[hermitzero]

Maternity leave and DH works from home, the two things may not be relevant but as my due date is approaching, I've started to wonder whether I would enjoy it or it would be rather not an ideal situation. My DH will probably work from home for a while although he'll go to the office one day a week.

What do you think? Would you enjoy it or do you foresee some difficulty?

I’ve got a few friends who’ve been in this situation and it’s been really positive for all of them.

I don't understand the issue

Are you worried you will enjoy your mat leave less because your DH will be at home working?

Why do you think it would stop your enjoyment?

I've finished mat leave now but DH is still WFH full-time so he's here on my days off as I work part time. I think it's a positive to have him around more but we are looking to move as we definitely need more space to accommodate everything.

It may be more of an issue for him than you, a crying baby while trying to work is not the best.
I think you just have to have designated area for him to work and get on with your days like he's not there.

I love it! He's bonded with our daughter in a way I'm not sure he would if he was not wfh. He's in hand to help out with tea time, bath time, bedtime... if he was still going out to work he'd be commuting at that time and probably not even see her in the evening!

My partner has a very relaxed job though, can manage his own time with no clocking in or anything restrictive. So he's free to go for a walk with us, pop to the shops etc. I might feel differently If his job was strict or very high pressure and he was not to be disturbed.

He's loved it and so have I. However he's gone into work today to do a shift and it's difficult because I'm. It used to doing things on my own!

Totally depends on the attitude and approach of the people involved.

Man child who is WFH using communal space, insisting on silence, expecting breakfast lunch and endless cups of tea = disaster.

DH with a dedicated working space who uses the freed up time from no more commuting to help out more and spend time with his DC/DW etc = fabulous and great for the whole family.

If anything may be harder for him if he’s on a call/meeting etc and he can hear LO crying.
Otherwise I think it would be great!
He’ll be able to join in on his breaks, no commuting so time on a morning and when finishes.

I started mat leave in the middle of May and my DH has been wfh since March 2020. It's great as I get to pop into the shops and leave him to watch sleeping baby as she's only 11 days old so still sleeping a lot.
Unlike when our older two were born he worked in the office and wouldn't get home until 6:30 in the evening. Thankfully he loves wfh and everything is so relaxed since he's been at home.

Pandemic started near the start of Maternity leave so DH has been wfh ever since. Oh my what a god send. He’s out the way in the dining room working but we all get lunch and dinner together no commuting and he’s on hand if I desperately need help (this is my 3rd so I’ve done it before no help!)

I loved it. Meant we got to see each other and him see DS on his lunch etc so much more. When DS was really little I used to leave him in DP office in his little chair or rocker for 20 mins while I grabbed a shower. I actually was dreading it so it surprised me. X

I'm on mat leave now with DH working from home it's great!

Going against the grain here but I hated it , it just reminded me that things weren't normal in the world. He came back home in November lockdown when DD was 2 months old and we all just got on top of each other, not enough space, nowhere for me to go out to, DP wasn't able to help with baby during work and only had limited time on lunch. I felt like I found my feet looking after DD better once he'd gone back to the office, I found it difficult having him there but not available and found I was constantly seeking reassurance from him about what I was doing with DD rather than making my own decisions. However, the fact I didn't like it was based on numerous factors and if your DH normally WFH then perhaps you're more used to it in a general sense than it being because of covid.

DH was wfh when I was on maternity leave. It was fantastic. When he was in his home office he was working, but sometimes he could pop out and chat or lend a hand. He was also a reassuring presence in those early days and there were a few times I called on him for help.

Er yeah my marriage wouldn't have survived DH being in the same postcode let alone working from home whilst I was on maternity leave 🤣

I loved DP wfh days when I was on mat leave! He stuck her in a sling and did naps during meetings while I slept. On hand for poo explosions. Clocked off early or on time but no commute so could take her at colic o’clock. All had lunch together. I showered!

Honestly it will be fantastic!

If you’ve had a rough night, hubby can baby wear whilst working for an hour or two in between feeds.

Saved my mental health!

Well, my husband leaves at 5.30am and isn't home yet and it's 7.30pm.... I know which I would prefer!!
I'm sure it will have it's difficult moments but overall surely better than him being gone all day.
Unless you have some reasons you think not..

Agree with the above. Great for seeing my partner for his breaks and no commute. He's had so much more time with DS and is on hand to help. Like PP mentioned though, I've probably relied on him too much and wouldn't like to be on my own all week now.

I'm looking forward to it. We have a nearly 4 year old and 5 year old too so dh will be on hand to do pick ups and drop offs if his schedule allows. My baby isn't due till the end of August, early September so I am looking forward to baby groups in the morning. Dh can keep an ear out whilst I go for a shower or am cooking. I will probably need to take the baby out or stay upstairs if he is on a meeting with directors but I don't see that as a big issue. The fact he won't have a 90 minute commute means more family time in the evening and a less tired dh which is a win win all round.

I think it very much depends on your type of husband and your house. My friend who had a baby the first day of the first lockdown her husband wasn't hands on at all as his excuse was you need to not rely on me as when the office reopens I'll be back in there.

For me my husband is an untidy so and so and I like the fact that once he is out to work I only have my own mess to deal with and not worry about crying babies (I have twins) disrupting work calls etc. We don't have a separate home office so he'd end up working in the kitchen or lounge or our bedroom - none practical when you have babies at home

It’s interesting seeing everyone’s comments on this as it’s something that I’m a bit worried about. My husband and I both started working at home full time last March and his work have no plans to go back to the office at present. He has been working at the dining table but we’re going to have to sort space upstairs for when the baby arrives I think. I can see that there will definitely be pros, but I can see there being cons aswell of him being in the house all the time when I’m on mat leave. I think I would prefer it if he was going out to work at least a couple of days a week but we’ll see!

I just don't think I'd relax - maybe it's because having twins they are loud if they both start crying at the same time. I can sprawl
Out on the floor with them and get all the noisy toys out. Lie on the sofa and have cuddles while they sleep, potter about the house cleaning and tidying knowing that when a room is done it will at least stay that way until 6pm 🤣.
I know DH likes to listen to his music when he's in the office on the radio and I don't like the radio stations he has on, he works in a certain industry too so some bad language is to be expected. I think we'd end up pissing each other off royally

Has he got a dedicated workspace at home? It would really frustrate me if he was trying to work out of the common rooms of the house while me and the baby were at home having to keep quiet.