Too Soon to Tell Parents?

[DerbyDuck22]

Hi all, looking for some advice on a topic I bet has been covered a lot on here... when to tell my parents I'm expecting their first grandchild. Also, when to tell my grandmother.

I'm nearly 6 weeks and considering telling my parents pretty soon after my first midwife appointment, which will then be 8 and 1/2 weeks. I know that risk of miscarriage is still high at this point and will be at least until the 12 week mark but here are the factors I have to consider:

• I'm very close to my mum, this is my first pregnancy after several months of trying and I could really use her advice (or comfort if something goes wrong)

• At 9 weeks we'll be travelling north to attend my cousin's wedding. Taxis and hotel rooms are booked so keeping the lack of alcohol (and possible morning sickness) from them will be near impossible. It'll also be tricky to hide it from the many aunties, uncles and cousins without someone to cover for me.

• The day after the wedding will likely be the last time I see my Gran in person for several weeks - she lives in a care home and is in the early stages of dementia. I worry that waiting much longer risks her not being able to understand and I'll have missed sharing that moment with her.

My OH prefers to wait a bit longer (we're planning to tell his family at 12 weeks) but says if I'd be more comfortable telling them earlier he'll back me 100%.

So should I take the risk and tell them? Any advice much appreciated.

@expectinglittlebear that's lovely, so exciting!

I told anyone who I would confide a miscarriage in and seek support from: parents, best friends, close work colleagues.

In my opinion, the more people who know, the more support you’ll have of anything goes wrong.

I really don't understand the not telling people thing at all. The 'in case something goes wrong' thing doesn't make sense to me either. Miscarriage should be talked about more in my opinion. Congratulations and tell everyone you want to!

Wow, I was not expecting this many replies so quickly! Thank you all for your support and advice, I definitely feel more reassured about the decision.
I showed the replies to DH and he now wants to tell his parents sooner as well (his mum and dad have experience with m/c so he acknowledged that their advice and support would be needed if something went wrong)

@expectinglittlebear - congratulations! Has it sunk in yet? I'm going to be getting my head around the idea for a while I think!

It's totally up to you when you tell people but all I'll say is I think it should be a joint agreement between you and your DP so if he really doesn't want to and is only saying yes because he thinks he has to I wouldn't. But if he really isn't that bothered I think, if he wants to, you should tell his family earlier too and not only one side of baby's family.

@LifesNotEnidBlyton

It's totally up to you when you tell people but all I'll say is I think it should be a joint agreement between you and your DP so if he really doesn't want to and is only saying yes because he thinks he has to I wouldn't. But if he really isn't that bothered I think, if he wants to, you should tell his family earlier too and not only one side of baby's family.

Absolutely, we had a long chat about it. We've decided when we're going to tell our parents but I told him if he changes his mind (even 10 minutes beforehand) then that's fine and we'll wait.

Good compromise OP !

I'd tell both sets of parents now and your grandparent after the wedding.

Hello everyone, my period is due tomorrow, since Friday I have been getting very faint positives on first response tests, I took one Friday 28/05/21 faint positive took 2 on the 29/05/21 faint positives. Took another first response 1/07/21 faint positive again, and clear blue digital but that one said not pregnant. Today I took clear blue tests very very faint lines and again I took a digital said not pregnant, so I got another first response and that one was faint positive again! Am I pregnant? I’m loosing my mind, any advice please? I had a chemical in March.

As with a lot of pp I told my family and closest friends as soon as I got a positive

@Evina

Hello everyone, my period is due tomorrow, since Friday I have been getting very faint positives on first response tests, I took one Friday 28/05/21 faint positive took 2 on the 29/05/21 faint positives. Took another first response 1/07/21 faint positive again, and clear blue digital but that one said not pregnant. Today I took clear blue tests very very faint lines and again I took a digital said not pregnant, so I got another first response and that one was faint positive again! Am I pregnant? I’m loosing my mind, any advice please? I had a chemical in March.

Hi Evina - I got my hopes up a couple of times with early pregnancy tests. This time around I waited until I had definitely missed my period to take the test. It feels like such a long time to wait but at least then you can be more sure of an accurate result.

Me and my fiancé told our parents and siblings when we were 6 week. Mainly because I’d spent 3 weeks quite poorly and I was really struggling - basically just needed my mum 😂 We didn’t tell the rest of the family until after our 12 week scan! I really wanted to keep it a secret longer but it just wasn’t possible!

Hi derbyduck22 thank you For your reply, I will try and wait till Sunday and see what happens... just very confused and hopefully, I feel like I am just scared also haha..

I've never waited to tell parents.

Tell them! You’ll likely want their support if the pregnancy goes wrong anyway.