Miserable about weight gain

[PaddleBoardingMomma]

Where to start...

This is my second pregnancy, and I felt similarly the first time but wasn't anywhere near as hard on myself. In fact I remember actively being kind to myself about my changing body, but this time...

As it stands I'm 30 weeks pregnant, and have put on 2st ish so far. My BMI was 30 to start with so I was already chubby but have been for years and the weight was slowly coming down, I wasn't very miserable about it anyway. But now I just look gross and huge, have a stupid B bump and look more obese than pregnant. I'm so sad and cry constantly about the way the weight has spread, I look grotesque and have a this horrid "lower" stomach fat that makes me want to scream cut the bloody thing off.

I'm terrified I'm going to end this pregnancy huge and the weight won't come off and I'll be over 16st by then. I'm so angry with myself for not being more careful about what I've eaten (although I don't really eat masses of rubbish I tend to like fruit and veg naturally anyway)

I'm not really sure why I'm posting... but I was just getting changed for bed and caught sight of myself in the mirror and now I'm lay here sobbing and so upset with myself.

The fact is I knew after the first pregnancy there was a chance my growing body would make me sad, I should have lost weight before I got pregnant but I didn't and now here I am feeling utterly disgusting.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting in replies but I suppose it feels cathartic to share and I wouldn't ever utter a word to anyone I know.

Oh lovely, be kind to yourself. If it helps (??!) in my previous three pregnancies I gained 4 stone each time, and then through WW I did, over time, lose it again. This time (28 weeks now) I was determined not to put on 4 stone. In ‘normal life’ I do loads of exercise, and eat healthily and am not overweight. But when I get pregnant all bets are off. I’ve made a huge effort this time, as I couldn’t face doing the whole’4 stone weight loss thing again’ and I’ve gained 2 stone by 28 weeks?! Honestly, I am convinced that my body holds on to it all so I can lay down fat for breastfeeding after- and to be fair each one of my babies have been massive fatties!
I sometimes, even on no.4 knowing how hard I’ve worked esp this time, feel like I’ve let myself down and feeling of shame about my body start to creep in and I have to work really hard to get rid of them etc but honestly I couldn’t have done anymore this time and anyway, in the grand scheme of it all it doesn’t matter, just growing a healthy baby counts, but I totally get that in the moment it feels like it is everything.
It’s not forever, ( just feels like it) and it’s hard work is making babies. So be kind to yourself and imagine what you would tell your mate who told you the same thing. And once you have those lovely baby snuggles 🥰 you’ll know it was all worth it.
So I don’t really have any advice but to say I think what you are feeling is prob very common, so don’t go beating yourself up about that either!!
Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy x

Its really not easy when our bodies are changing so much and in so such a short space of time. We have a lot of physical changes to suddenly adust to. I'm at an in-between stage myself where I'm definitely showing but I'm not obviously pregnant and I struggle sometimes with how to dress and cringe when I see myself in a full length mirror.

Please try to be kind to yourself, you say you've been eating healthily so there isn't a lot else you can do at this point. Remind yourself of all the amazing things your body is doing right now in growing and nurturing a new life.

Pregnancy is unforgiving. Your beautiful body does whatever it wants … my knees to ankles were same width from 6 months in. It’s not forever, it’s a period in time to allow your body to choose how to be. Afterwards you get choice back, but please be forgiving of a body that’s worked hard, so don’t expect miracles. Your body may not look the same again… my rib cage and foot size increased for example (omitted ass on purpose 🙈) but I grew and produced a baby. Go you and me!