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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Geriatric mother, 5/6 weeks pregnant. Symptoms have stopped.

24 replies

NeuroticNelly43 · 27/05/2021 08:47

Im 43 (a “geriatric” as they like to call us now!) and I had a miscarriage last March at 8 weeks. I honestly thought that would be my last chance to have another baby (My daughter is now 22) as the odds are stacked against me with my age, plus I have very irregular periods and was told I’m possibly peri-menopausal by my GP

However, I’ve done 3 positive pregnancy tests now and the dating one would indicated that I’m now between 5-6 weeks. I was having quite strong EP symptoms including vomiting, sore breasts, lower back pain and feeling tired but I’ve woken up this morning and all symptoms have disappeared. I had some mild cramping in the night but no bleeding or spotting as yet.

All the articles I’ve been reading about pregnancy at my age say the miscarriage rate is 50% or more and I’m so paranoid I’ll lose this one too.

I’m just looking for some reassurance really or some positive stories from women who’ve experienced similar especially in my age range that have gone on to have a successful pregnancy.

OP posts:
Schmermaid · 27/05/2021 10:40

Hi Nelly. I delivered at 40 and 42, both easy pregnancies, very few symptoms, and two healthy babies. I'm not the oldest mum I know, so it does happen for many women. Good luck lovely, sending you a hug x

Original poster
NeuroticNelly43 · 27/05/2021 10:46

@Schmermaid oh thank you so much for your response. I just seem to find so much negative information around pregnancy after 40, I almost feel guilty for being pregnant. Your message has given me some comfort and hope SmileStar

OP posts:
Bluey18 · 27/05/2021 10:47

I'm younger than you, but I had days where I had no symptoms around 6 weeks and panicked. I had also had bleeding early on and was sure the loss of symptoms meant the worst (then I got HG and was longing for the symptomless days back). I'm 16 weeks now.

One of my bosses had her two daughters at 42 and 44 with no intervention and a miscarriage in between, it does happen.

Hope you're OK and all works out for you xx.

Original poster
NeuroticNelly43 · 27/05/2021 11:32

@Bluey18 congratulations and I'm so pleased for you. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I think because I lost one last year after 21 years of not being pregnant now I'm fixating on my age being the issue. I think I convince myself of the worst because I know the feeling when you get your hopes up and it doesn't happen.
I love that story about your boss too! These successes really give me hope SmileSmile

OP posts:
Icantrememberthenameoftheartis · 27/05/2021 11:50

I had my children at 42,43 and 45 and I was never referred to as a geriatric mother. I had consultant led care because I was over 40 and everyone from the midwives to the labour ward didn’t seem to think anything of my age. I live in the South East and my midwife and consultant told me they see many women in their early/mid 40’s having their first baby.

My first pregnancy was a MMC at 40, it then took me a year to conceive which resulted in my first baby at 42. My next two (conceived at 42 and 45) were conceived the first month of trying.

I had healthy pregnancies each time and good deliveries.

Wishing you a positive outcome 😊

Chanel05 · 27/05/2021 12:09

Hoping all is well for you and sorry for your loss.

I had a missed miscarriage a few weeks ago and the symptoms never stopped, so it isn't a sign of anything.

AutumnVibes · 27/05/2021 12:59

I also miscarried last year and had no drop in symptoms. Am pregnant again now and very anxious like you, but last year’s experience showed me that the symptoms and the pregnancy don’t go hand in hand and that scans are the only way you can tell anything. It’s torture waiting for them, but try to relax and assume things are well until you hear differently. Really good luck!

Original poster
NeuroticNelly43 · 28/05/2021 12:06

@Icantrememberthenameoftheartis thank you for sharing your story. It's so good to hear of your successful pregnancies at this age. (The term geriatric mother is on the Southend Hospital referral form) 🤦🏼‍♀️ Talk about make me feel old lol

OP posts:
Original poster
NeuroticNelly43 · 28/05/2021 12:09

@Chanel05 I am so very sorry for your loss. Thank you for your words of advice. It's comforting to know this isn't something I should be concerned about. Much love Daffodil

OP posts:
Original poster
NeuroticNelly43 · 28/05/2021 12:12

@AutumnVibes congratulations on your pregnancy. It is very unnerving when you've experienced a miscarriage as you don't want to get excited knowing how the loss feels. I am booked for a private scan next Friday and I should be around 7 weeks so hopefully I'll see everything developing as it should be and start enjoying this pregnancy more. All the best with your pregnancy too xx

OP posts:
Heyha · 28/05/2021 13:02

Lady in the bed next to me in antenatal was aged 47 with her last attempt IVF pregnancy. She had a rough old time of it during pregnancy but our babies ended up going home on the same day. I met a lot of people during my stay but I often think of that lovely little family.

Chanel05 · 28/05/2021 13:42

@NeuroticNelly43 I've just realised my typo - I said weeks and it was actually a few years ago. Apologies.

Wish44 · 28/05/2021 19:29

Hi,

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope all goes well.

I am 44 and 22 weeks pregnant and I know how age becomes such a dominating factor.

I have had 2 babies and lots of miscarriages. I had full on terrible morning sickness with all of them so I personally don’t rely on symptoms and go for private scans. I know it’s not cheap but the knowledge they give is worth it I think.

Good luck!

Snally82 · 29/05/2021 08:23

I’m just under 40 so a little younger but nonetheless in the age bracket for all scary stuff out there online. I’m 37 weeks pregnant today and have had a much smoother pregnancy than everyone I know that is younger than me so far x

Original poster
NeuroticNelly43 · 30/05/2021 08:50

Thank you so much all for your words of encouragement. It's so reassuring and comforting to know so many women have successful pregnancies over 40 😃

I have my first scan booked for Friday when I should be around 6weeks and 5 days if my dates are correct. I'm so nervous and scared. Crazy to think that 15min appointment could completely change my life 🥰❤️ I'm staying positive and I'll keep you posted on the outcome

OP posts:
FirstTimeScared · 30/05/2021 14:12

Firstly congratulations, secondly I feel your anxiety.

I'm 37 and will be 38 when and if I'm lucky to have this baby currently 29 weeks 5 days today 💓
I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 2019 and actually thought I was about to go through the menopause early this time (my mum did).
To my surprise i found out we were pregnant in Nov 2020 and I had no symptoms at all. Didn't feel pregnant at all. I had no morning sickness only felt a bit more tired than normal.
Only done a test because I had one and was 1 day late. This wasn't unusual for me.
Had a scare at Christmas with a bleed but after a check was none the wiser and it stopped. I'm being consultant led because I'm old and I'm a diabetic. I've had all my medication change and I've had loads of extra scans which have been a bonus.
If it wasn't for those scans I probably still wouldn't believe it now. I am only just starting to show as being pregnant, I'm a plus size girl anyway.
I'm still very anxious everyday as to what that pain is, is that feeling normal. I've been lucky to have a plain sailing pregnancy so far. 🤞
I'm terrified of having this baby but I will do it as that's what's needed to have my baby in my arms. I'm due to be induced at 38 weeks because I am on insulin for being a diabetic. Today I've still very little symptoms and again just tired and exhausted all the time.
Good luck, you got this and all the best 👍

Wish44 · 30/05/2021 15:33

Good luck with your scan op and let us know how it goes. I will keep everyone crossed for you.

Original poster
NeuroticNelly43 · 30/05/2021 22:13

@FirstTimeScared really loved reading your story. You've certainly had some ups and downs but how wonderful that you're well on the way to your miracle baby. Wish you all the best in your delivery and becoming a new Mama xx

OP posts:
FunnyWonder · 30/05/2021 22:42

Good luck with your scan OP!

I had my two DS's at 41 and 45. I had absolutely no pregnancy symptoms with DS2 at the start. I had an early scan because of a previous ectopic pregnancy and went in feeling a bit down, fearing the worst. I just didn't FEEL pregnant. But all was well and I excitedly phoned DP to tell him - and while I was standing outside the maternity hospital, I suddenly felt very, very sick!

I continued to feel sick (and had acid reflux) for the duration of the pregnancy, but had a quick, straightforward labour and a healthy baby. He's 8 now - and still my baby!

Ttc42nearly43 · 30/08/2021 09:49

@NeuroticNelly43

Hey just wondering how your pregnancy journey is going I've been TTC baby number 3 since an early miscarriage at 6 weeks in march 2020. I have no idea what else to do to get pregnant have tried everything out there even using the digital ovulation kits but sold this recently as it was stressing me out. I have now given up alcohol am not a heavy drinker maybe a bottle of wine at the weekend. Am loosing hope here. My husband won't got for IVF even considered leaving him and going down the donor route how terrible is that but we have 2 children and I can't do that to them. I probably sound like such am awful person but am desperate. I just feel so sad that I can't get pregnant again and have the 3rd baby am dreaming about. My cousin is pregnant with her 3rd at 40 got pregnant really easily I know I should be happy for her but am gutted it's so unfair.

Wish44 · 30/08/2021 11:15

@Ttc42nearly43

hi, I feel your pain… but there is hope! I am 44 and a half and 36 weeks pregnant.

It took just over 3 years and 3 miscarriages to get here…. Like the statistics say for over 42’s…. It takes longer to get pregnant, there is more chance of miscarriage… but it is possible for many many women, if you can manage the heart break and stress of years of trying. Good luck

Ttc42nearly43 · 08/09/2021 07:20

@Wish44
Congratulations did you conceive naturally. I want to go for IVF but my husband won't entertain the idea am devastated.

Wish44 · 11/09/2021 19:16

@Ttc42nearly43

Yes naturally….DP would not consider IVF or adoption….

So you have been trying for 18 months?

Ttc42nearly43 · 12/09/2021 18:13

@Wish44

Yes that's right my period was 2 days late this morning I was so excited but 2 pregnancy tests later both negative and I started bleeding a few hours ago so that's another month of trying gone. I've been in touch with my GP a few times over the last year and the last time I went I was told to be greatful for the 2 children I have (trust me am grateful) and to stop putting myself through emotional torture every month and that she recommended I go on the pill. Basically telling me I have no chance. I have tried everything from fertility monitors to fertility lube I've also been taking ubiquinol for about 6 months as I read it's meant to increase egg quality am also taking fish oil supplements and prenatal vitamins. Literally at a dead end now it's really hard

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