No sex now I'm pregnant?

[ggggrace]

Hey everyone :)

I'm 34 weeks pregnant. In a happy relationship with my partner we've been together 4 years. I'm 23 and he's 24. We weren't trying for a baby but wasn't doing anything to prevent it happening you know?!😂anyway we're both really excited.

I'm just concerned and wondered what everyone else thought... since becoming pregnant we've literally had sex 6 times. Once a month :| I'm not complaining but this is soooo not like us, we're usually very sexually active! He is in the army and I live two hours from his base so I only see him weekends at the moment ( we've recently got a flat of our own where I stay in the week and where he comes back to on weekends/when he gets time off) I just thought it was a bit awkward before because we were at my parents and people just walk in without knocking etc but we've lived in our flat for 2 months now and we've had sex twice! It is hard because he gets back Friday evenings and he's so tired. Saturday we go out and Sunday he's off to work again. I'm just concerned that when baby is here it will be even less! We've both said we're both in the mood we're just genuinely so tired whenever we get into bed!😖
Also I've asked if it's because I'm pregnant and it creeps him out and he said no not at all.

I'm mega insecure so I'm just concerned he's going to get sick of me! Even though I know he won't if that makes sense? Like I know it's just me overthinking as we have the best bond ever and we're literally like best friends! Just wondered if anyone else experienced this? Any advice or? Just needed to get it off my chest!😅

I didn't have sex with my DH at all during either of my pregnancies. We tried once in the early days with DS1, but I didn't feel comfortable. I know DH was a bit freaked out by it too.

It is natural in long term relationships to go through dry spells. As long as you are affectionate in other ways it doesn't need to be a problem.

After I had my kids, the sex drive returned with a vengeanc. Just be careful though because you're also very fertile afterwards.

Oh lovely, it genuinely reads like you're both tired out and don't get to spend much time together.

I have been with my husband for 10 years and I love him more than ever... but whilst pregnant, my sex drive is on the floor... we manage about once a week. I love it when we get going, but I'm just tired and end up alseep before the opportunity arises!! I'm not worried as I know it was the same when we had our first. It comes back after baby comes.

Maybe try and make some chilled time together so you can enjoy being just the two of you before little one comes along. It doesn't have to be sex to be intimate/romantic :-)

Sex waxes and wanes in a relationship. If you both want it but you're too tired by bedtime make the effort to go to bed early, have morning sex beofre you get up, stay in one Saturday and chill and have after lunch sex etc.

Once baby is here it's likely to drop even more between tiredness and feeling touched out etc.so it really is just about doing it as and when you.l can

Don't worry so much. Think of it as good practice for deployments. I'm a forces wife and we've been together over 17 years now. There can be dry spells when they are home sometimes but that can happen to any couple, I think it's magnified because they are away so much. So long as you are enjoying eachothers company then the intimacy will come back. May be worth having some lazy Saturdays at home so you can both get some rest, you don't need to be out and about all the time. It will be a bit harder with baby but you will find ways to stay intimate and close. It's older kids that often throw a spanner in the works and kill the mood by knocking on the door etc when you're getting a bit frisky, we have 5 already and 6th due Aug. Sometimes it's got to be a "quick before the kids wake up" or you get interrupted and then he's off back to work before you get chance to finish what you started.
You just have to adapt to changes within your relationship, if you can endure the forces life you are in a limited club. We've seen so many relationships break down under the pressures of the job.

@Flowerclock

I didn't have sex with my DH at all during either of my pregnancies. We tried once in the early days with DS1, but I didn't feel comfortable. I know DH was a bit freaked out by it too.

It is natural in long term relationships to go through dry spells. As long as you are affectionate in other ways it doesn't need to be a problem.

After I had my kids, the sex drive returned with a vengeanc. Just be careful though because you're also very fertile afterwards.

Same

I didn’t have sex for nearly 18 months after my first was born. I ended up in ICU and spent over a year in hospital after their birth. Then it took 6 months recovery for the year in hospital. Plus a baby etc.

Even if it does happen. It happens. You’ve got normal living and things to do.

Nothing wrong with not having sex if one of you doesn't want to. But it sounds like you do both want to? In that case maybe you have to actively choose to prioritise it. Don't go out one Saturday night - cosy night in instead? Or morning sex? I'm sure you can find a way. Choose to break out of the pattern you've set yourselves.