Wwyd Early pregnancy - ILs staying & family wedding

[Starbucked]

Help I don't know what to do!

I'm 6 weeks, ILs are coming to stay for three weeks tomorrow from out of the country to attend my BIL wedding. Which is immediate family only so very small.

So far in pregnancy I've been exhausted and nauseous all day. constant snacking, taking it easy and ginger tea are helping.

I worried I won't be able to hide it a) with them staying as if I'm not working I'm collapsed in a sleepy heap somewhere; and b) at the wedding as I won't be drinking (easily hidden at a big wedding but less so as this is so small, just us and both sets of parents & other sib - usually as the "kids" we all drink & party together) and I'm SO tired and will likely feel so sick if I don't keep snacking (there are big gaps between meals and due to location & day plan hard to sneak off to find food) - I don't want them to think I'm just being rude/unenthusiastic if I'm constantly pulling snacks out my handbag and not being much fun!

My partner thinks we should just tell them all before the wedding, and would also like to tell his parents whilst they are in the country. But I'm really worried about that as I feel like this time should be about the wedding, especially as they've postponed three times due to covid!

So wwyd?

Could you tell your ILs but ask them but to tell your BIL till after the wedding?

Not to....

Please don't make your big announcement so close to someone's big day.
Loads of excuses to avoid coming clean.

@Spudina

Could you tell your ILs but ask them but to tell your BIL till after the wedding?

This 100%

Tell your ILs but I’d wait until after the wedding to tell BIL.
Lots of things can be said for not drinking

Oh goodness just tell them. Bugger this whole stealing someone's thunder nonsense. Real life decent humans appreciate an abundance of good news rather than stressing about if they are getting enough attention. It's only a wedding not the second coming! I mean, maybe don't announce it in the speech's but telling them like a grown up in a normal way would be fine.

Mumsnet is bat shit crazy. Feel better soon
OP and congratulations

Thanks everyone, good to get some outside perspective on it. It's less the drinking I'm worried about - could say antibiotics or whatever- and more the tiredness nausea & constant need to eat! Unsure how to explain away that combo other than a three week hangover 😅
@WaterBottle123 thank you I think I needed to hear that! They are all lovely & easy going so I don't think it'll be a big deal if we do tell as long as it's not on the day.

@Starbucked

Ha good!

For reference the birth of my first daughter was announced in our friends wedding speech (we were absent from the wedding due to the birth) and everyone loved getting additional happy news! Obviously it was their choice to announce but just as a comparison of how normal non Mumsnet ppl behave :)

[quote WaterBottle123]@Starbucked

Ha good!

For reference the birth of my first daughter was announced in our friends wedding speech (we were absent from the wedding due to the birth) and everyone loved getting additional happy news! Obviously it was their choice to announce but just as a comparison of how normal non Mumsnet ppl behave :) [/quote]
Oh god I’m crying just thinking about that!

Definitely tell them OP. They’d certainly guess anyway, plus no reasonable couple would want you to keep it secret for three weeks on account of their wedding day.

I'd tell them, but ask them not to tell BIL until after the wedding.

It's not massive news at 6 weeks (no offence! It's just such a long time to go), but it'll be stressful to hide it and to be honest, it doesn't sound like you'll be able to. It'll be really obvious from the tiredness/nausea/constant snacking; let alone not drinking... and if you try to keep it secret, you risk that they'll be wondering about it and trying to work it out. It's less dramatic to quietly tell them and ask them to keep it quiet.

Congratulations! I'm 10 weeks and really debated when to tell people. Thankfully it's been pretty easy for me to avoid people, but you have no chance if they're staying with you, especially for so long.

I would tell them, but as far from the wedding as possible in the timeframe, when they first arrive perhaps, but say not telling the wider family until after the scan