Advice for having babies close in age

[PheebsJ]

Hello everyone, so I have a 6 month old little boy and am currently pregnant, I’ll be 7 weeks tomorrow. I had a private scan yesterday and found out it’s twins! I’m over the moon and excited for this journey but also can’t help being a little anxious about having 3 kids so close in age, I know I can do it especially since I have an amazing supportive family but just thought I’d come on here to see if anyone who has been through the same has any tips?

Jesus

I had 4 under 4 for a while (no twins though). My tips would be take it easy to start with don’t try and do to much until you feel in a rhythm with it all. Take any help offered. If you want to get out the house, try and get organised the evening before, buggy in car, bag packed etc. When home have changing stuff around the house, I had a box and mat downstairs and one upstairs then I didn’t have to go far. Try and give the older child some individual attention even if 5 minutes of reading a book together helps them feel better about a sibling coming along. Try not to beat yourself up if you have a tough day. Congratulations!

I know someone who has an 11 month gap between DC1 and DC2&3 (twins). She survived

I think the first year of the twins’ lives passed in a blur, then the toddler years were a slog. All normal now they are a bit older.

4 under 4 sounds brutal Eco!

Wow 4 under 4, you’re a superhero! Thank you for the advice, means a lot ❤️

Congratulations!

I've got 16 months between my two (youngest 6 months, oldest 23 months). My tips...

• Take all the help that's offered.
• Go easy on yourself...the house will be a mess, you won't be able to do a home cooked meal every day, don't expect too much of yourself.
• Keep the twins alive but direct a lot of attention to your toddler. My youngest was fed and put in bouncer while all the attention was on DD1. Luckily she was too young to really be jealous.
• Prep lots of frozen dinners for your eldest.
• Keep the oldest in some sort of childcare if you can afford it. 1 or 2 days in nursery will be great for them and you in those early days!
• I decided early on that going out alone with both was too hard so I always had another adult or just stayed in...lockdown was a good excuse! I'm only starting to venture out alone with them both now, but still rather do an activity with them individually if possible.
• Get lots of wine in

I was expecting the absolute worst...but actually it hasn't been that bad! The first couple of months, you just have to ride the newborn wave and yes, it's hard but it's quick. From around 4 months everything past 1pm was in sync. They'd nap at the same time (1.5 hours of sweet peace!), wake up, bath, milk and bed by 7pm. The oldest is really too young to be jealous and has coped really well with the intruder! I fantasize about the time they can play together and do all the same activities. I see it as short term pain for long term gain! I'm also happy to be getting all the baby years out the way in one go!

@Thisisjaaam

Jesus

Helpful.

I had another baby when my twins were 23 months. It was hard work. You can do it though, it's not forever. Easier now as they have ready made playmates all day long.

I don't have twins but have two very close in age and I can honestly say it's fab. Everyone tells you how you'll struggle, etc and don't get me wrong some days aren't easy but it's amazing at the same time 😊

I had dd in September 05.
A dd in December 06.
A ds in November 08.
Manageable if the older ones go to bed!
Accept any help op!! Ask your mw/hv about any council (Surestart) offered..

20 months between mine. The best advice I got was get them into the same routine ASAP and get them to nap at the same time every day. I used to get 2 hours every afternoon whilst they slept. It was bliss!! Then DS1 dropped his nap

I have a planned 11 month gap and it’s great but you’ll probably need some help with twins.

16 months between my two youngest. Take lots of photos and videos as you won't remember most of it. They are easy to entertain now on a day out or at home as they like similar things, like similar tv programmes. But I won't lie it was hard in the early days but worth it now

Following for this.
I have a 7 month old and just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant.

No idea what to feel

15 months between mine and I have to say, I've struggled. Massively. You're lucky lockdown restrictions are easing/lifting so you'll have lots of help/support (from services/family/friends), access to baby groups, etc. I didn't have any of that for my second. Biggest advice- pay for nursery or a nanny to help you out in the first year.

My youngest 2 are 12 months apart, now aged nearly 7 and nearly 8. Also have 3 older ones with an 8 year gap between eldest and youngest.

2 changing mats, one upstairs and one downstairs.
Find a small local softplay with a child proof gate at the entrance and go there a lot when they are at the running off in different directions stage.
Be really organised with routine
Accept all help.

I don't have twins but my 4 kids are currently 4and a half, 3 and a half, 2 and a 9 month old.
I would say just be prepared to be tired 😆. Oh, and be organised and prioritise.

@confusedandshocked94 sending hugs. This was me one year ago. Now have an almost 7 month old and 23 month old. It's ok, I promise. See my earlier post, first few weeks hard as with any age gap and newborn but it gets so much easier. I struggled the entire pregnancy with my second as I was in denial and so anxious but there have been many positives to having them this close. Happy to answer and qs you might have.

We have a 5 year gap between 1& 2. 16.5mth gap between 2 & 3. Couple of months short of 3 years between 3 & 4/5, the twins were a big shock. Twins are 6 now with baby 6 due Aug.

Honestly you will muddle through, it can be absolutely exhausting with 2 newborns and toddler. Routines will be your best friend, I found younger ones just slot in around an older ones routine. During pregnancy nap if your son does, it can get extremely uncomfortable being pregnant with twins so sleep quality is pretty rubbish. I used to doze off when sat for a while as I couldn't sleep more than an hour at a time due to pain in the 3rd trimester, they were huge for twins though and I got to 38wk. A slow cooker or batch cooking and freezing meals to reheat can be helpful too if you do most of the cooking. Get used to mess, so long as things are clean there is nothing wrong with a bit of clutter. I had very little help with ours as my husband works away, if people offer you help... snap their hands off.
It may feel overwhelming at times but enjoy the lovely little moments with all your babies and it'll balance out.

14 month age gap here.
Have the double (or triple in your case!) buggy ready to go at all times! I used to strap them in a go for a walk whenever things got too much and they usually went to sleep!
Have lots of safe places to put babies in every room, mats, bouncers etc.
Changing mats down and upstairs.
Agree with person who said keep some childcare going for your eldest if you can.
Have low expectations about your house (tidiness etc)
Completely baby and toddler proof the room so if your breastfeeding etc you can let your older one roam safely (which in my case involved them emptying out every single Kallax each day
Good luck and hope all goes well!

I had 3 under 3 including twins...
Accept all the help you are offered, ask for help if you are struggling, lower your standards, slings are your friend, naps are your friend too! Honestly, you’ll survive and then as soon as they’re 3/4 it’s all fun and lovely!