Time off work due to pregnancy - feeing guilty.

[Tilly18101]

Hi MN,

I’ve had 3 days off (individual days) since being pregnant (I’m 17 weeks now) and I feel so incredibly guilty about it.

I am suffering with severe headaches/nausea and I just feel rotten. I WFH (always had WFH pre Covid) but the option to go in the office when I wanted, and I just feel so guilty that I should be logged on at least trying but I work with a lot of raw data everyday, and staring at spreadsheets makes me feel 100% worse.

I’ve suffered through bad days, even if logging on an hour later then normal after a bit more sleep and just doing what I can but I can help but worry that someone is going to say something or think I’m taking the piss.

I’ve worked for the company for 10+ years, and my sickness record is pretty normal, never had any warnings or discussions. The odd few days for flu in winter, ear infections etc thats it.

I know no one will have any advice but I suppose I just worry too much, and then it effects how I feel and makes me anxious. I just hear so many horror stories of people being made redundant during pregnancy, or upon return and being first to go and I really don’t want to put myself in any position like that. :(

Sorry I know there is nothing anyone can say, think I just needed to write it down.

I didnt want to read and run..

But wanted to stay I totally understand how your feeling. I'm in my first trimester and have had a week off due to sickness plus days where I've had to start late or finish early when it's been particularly bad. My manager has always been really reassuring that it's fine, they know I work hard.. but it doesn't stop tje guilt and I'm forever feeling like I need to apologise.

Over 17 weeks I don't think 3 days is a particularly large amount of time and pregnant related illness has to be recorded separately. I suspect it will all be fine. After 10 years your company have a pretty good idea of the type of person you are :) try not to worry yourself too much although I know it's much easier said than done! Xx

Don't feel guilty. In my experience, they see you as a number not a person. Definitely get up to speed on your contract T&Cs, and pregnancy and maternity T&Cs... Mine were to be put on mat leave early depending on sickness within so many weeks of due date, also your mat pay calculation may be affected by sickness days within so many weeks prior to the 20th wk or whatever it says in the policies. Xx

Thank you, I think it makes me feel worse worrying.

I’ll definitely look at my contact & our policies. I’ve had a read of the mat one already as my company offers an enhanced pay with 3+ years service which I am hoping to take but I didn’t read anything on absence x

@Tilly18101 the absence affecting mat pay I think is nationwide so have a look on government/HMRC websites or call up citizens advice or your union if you have one xx also check Martin Lewis money savers website

Your eyes can change during pregnancy and that might be affecting your work if you spend a lot of time looking at screens.

Could you speak to an optician/ do some googling to see if anything might help as it may be causing your headaches