How long did you wait to tell your parents/family?

[kbg1991]

Hello girls!

I am 4 weeks pregnant and my hubby and I decided to wait until the end of first trimester to tell our parents, to see if everything is ok first and do not risk them of frustration or telling everyone without our consent.

At the end of the day, I feel like I am betraying my mom by not telling her, but for me this is the right decision. It is so bad to feel guilty for something I shouldn't..

Can you share with me what have you done or are planning to do? 😊

I'm 8 weeks and plan on waiting as long as possible before telling my parents. My Mum will probably have wanted to know immediately but she will be delighted either way.

Ideally I'd like to wait until 20 week anatomy scan but am prepared to announce from 15 weeks after I've had NIPT and I think everything is on the right track but only if I'm showing and can't hide it.

Congratulations :)

My Mum knew before my husband both times, I can't keep my mouth shut though and I wanted to tell him in person rather than on the phone at work!

Then we just told whoever we felt needed to know in conversation, never made any big announcements or shared stuff on social media so some people were never really told they just figured it out when my bump appeared.

I figured that if something was going to go wrong it would whether people knew or not and we'd rely on our friends/family to help us through that so it made more sense to tell them early on.

Very similar to the previous poster. Would ideally wait until after the 20 week scan but I don’t think that would be realistic for us. Will probably wait until 14 weeks when we’ve had scans and tests and things.

With our first we told people really early on but with hindsight I wouldn’t do that again. Aside from anything else my sister told every single person she’d ever met!

About 5 weeks. As soon as we knew really. With the caveat of being early days so not to get too excited. First time I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. 2nd and 3rd time we did the same. I wouldn't have wanted to keep my miscarriage secret and I would have found it harder to tell them I'd had a miscarriage out of the blue rather than them already knowing I was pregnant so knowing it was a possibility.

But there's no right answer or any rules, just what's right for you.

I was determined to wait until 15 weeks at least, ideally 20 - but we’re telling people next week. I’ll be just over 10 weeks.

I love the idea of keeping it secret, but in reality it’s really hard. I’ve got a bit of a tummy now, and my boobs have grown, and it’s pretty obvious to look at me! Plus I can’t drink, and have to be a bit more selective about what I eat... fine when we couldn’t really meet anyone, but not easy now.

And for some people; there’s the nausea/sickness/tiredness. Thankfully I’ve got off okay with those for the most part.

We’re going to tell a few close friends first, and the in-laws, and ask them all to keep it to themselves.

I’m nervous, but I’ve known since 3 weeks and I think it’ll be nice to tell people. We’ve had a scan, so I know everything is as okay in there as possible, and my 12 week scan isn’t until 14 weeks. We have debated doing an early NIPT around 8 weeks to get those results, but I’m low risk and I don’t think we’re going to.

It’s a really personal call, but I wouldn’t set your heart on keeping it secret for ages, just incase. I was a bit sad that I’d never pull it off when it became apparent. This is my first and I’m not especially thin, so I didn’t expect it to be so obvious to look at!

Also, if you don’t mind people “guessing”, you’ll probably be able to stretch out confirming for longer - but I wanted people to find out from me; rather than know and wait for me to confirm.

All the best to you!

I told anyone I felt like as soon as I felt like it. No regrets.
I also didn't tell people if there was no reason to mention it.

It's a personal situation about your body & future, most people understand why you might keep it private.

Told parents and siblings after the dating scan, was dated at 13wk.
This one follows 2 mc's and a few chemicals so we held of telling friends until a private scan at 16+4 and were quite open about it in general after the anomaly scan at 20wk.

So for my first we told family at 13 weeks. I told work at 18 weeks and friends somewhere inbetween.

My second told family earlier (some guessed) maybe 9 or 10 weeks. Work not until 24 weeks.

I didn’t have the patience to wait til 12 weeks to tell them 🙈 I told my parents at 6 weeks because I knew we’d be going out for dinner and it would be weird if I wasn’t drinking. We then told his parents at 8 weeks at Christmas then no one else til 12 weeks. I was sooo worried about his mum knowing because she can’t keep a secret at all and I’m not convinced she didn’t actually tell some of her family on the phone but told them it was a secret. Purely because she just wouldn’t be able to keep it!

@kbg1991

Hello girls!

I am 4 weeks pregnant and my hubby and I decided to wait until the end of first trimester to tell our parents, to see if everything is ok first and do not risk them of frustration or telling everyone without our consent.

At the end of the day, I feel like I am betraying my mom by not telling her, but for me this is the right decision. It is so bad to feel guilty for something I shouldn't..

Can you share with me what have you done or are planning to do? 😊

My in laws found out when I was 6 weeks but this was due a pregnancy test I'd ordered and my partner opened it by accident in front of MIL, so we had to tell them really once we'd confirmed it but my side of the family/everyone else I waited 3 months.

So what feels right for you, my SIL told everyone at 4 weeks so everyone's different

I told my mum, mil and sister and best friend when I found out. If something had gone wrong they’d be people I’d want to lean on for support. Other than that everyone was told after 12 weeks

My DM is very superstitious and suffered a number of miscarriages - she told me that there was no way she'd want to know before 12 weeks because she'd just spend the whole time worrying.

I told my family and friends more or less immediately, around 4-5 weeks. Work I waited until 20 weeks. I would have wanted to discuss with friends if there were issues. I loved chatting with them and being excited.

We told parents the same day we found out. Im very close with my mum and wanted to tell her immediately. As for extended family we waited til after 12 weeks.

Waited till after the 12 week scan for our first born. Not sure why, just felt right to wait a bit.

With my second pregnancy we had an early scan at 8 weeks (wasn’t sure on pregnancy dates so thought I may be further along). Told family and a couple of friends as all looked well, sadly we got bad news at the 12 week scan and had to have a TFMR. After the breeze that was our first pregnancy it was a shock and I totally got why people waited, as I had to text a few people about the loss and really didn’t want to talk about it repeatedly. It was hard.

I’m pregnant again now and scan is next week, will tell family after that and maybe a few friends after, all being well. 😊

I told my mam and sister as soon as I found out I was pregnant this time.

With my first pregnancy I wanted to wait until after the 12 week scan as I thought that’s what you were “supposed” to do.

I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks and rang my mam in tears to tell her.

So this time round I told her straight away as if anything were to happen I know I’d need her support.

Everyone is different though, do what’s right for you

I had initially planned not to tell anyone until I was 12 weeks but unfortunately I’ve ended up with hyperemesis which made it very difficult to hide as I have had to keep going to hospital etc. We told immediate family about 5 weeks and my boss knew as again hard to hide. I’m now almost 14 weeks

I didnt want anyone knowing until the 12 week scan (still waiting on this), but sadly as I developed HG, I couldnt really hide it.

My mum was told first at 6ish weeks because I couldnt eat and was vomiting all the time.
Work were told a few weeks later as I have a job in which many of my roles are dangerous for a growing baby so they had to be told from a H&S perspective.
I wanted to then wait for the scan and bloods before telling anyone else but DH wanted to tell his parents face to face.
So far thats it.
No other family or any friends will be told until we know if everything is ok.

You have to do what is right for you though.
If it had have been down to me, I would have waited as the fear of telling people then something being wrong with baby is terrifying.

Told our parents at 5 weeks. I also told some work colleagues as I needed to avoid doing certain things at work (I'm a vet). Told most others after 12 week scan.
Congratulations!

We told both sets of parents at 6 weeks, just after we’d found out ourselves really. We had issues getting here and PIL were paying for private fertility investigations so didn’t seem right to keep them in the dark.
Told work at around 8 weeks cause I was throwing up so much.
Then friends and siblings at 12 weeks.
Then put something on Facebook for the wider family, friends etc at about 14 weeks.

Just do whatever feels right for you, that you can both agree on. Congratulations.

We told our parents the day we got the bfp... but our families are close & supportive so we would also want to be able to tell them if we lost the baby. Told a handful of other close friends/family around 7/8 weeks and others after 12 wk scan. I’m now 14 weeks but don’t want to anything to appear more publicly (ie Facebook etc) unless we get safely past the 20 wk scan. Still haven’t decided when to tell work! (Am still wfh so they have no clue)

Told DM, DF and DB on the day of the positive test and then we told everyone else (friends and wider family) after the 12 week scan.

It's very much a "what works for you" situation though and you definitely should not feel guilty for not sharing the news. You don't I when you are ready. Good luck with everything :)

Told my parents the day dh and I found out. IL' too.I was 5 weeks pregnant! We had been trying to conceive for 4 years though and I'm very close to my mum and dad