Announcing Baby’s Arrival

[CoffeeMonkey]

How does everyone feel about when/ how they announce baby’s arrival to close family & friends, & how the news is then shared on from there?

I’m booked for a planned section but only immediate family & a few close friends know the date as my husband & I didn’t want a whole fuss, people txting before hand or possibly even talking about it on social media; we’ve always been pretty private this way & thankfully family & friends have been ok to keep this to themselves.

Once baby is born my husband will quickly txt my Mum to say baby & I are fine & it’s a boy/girl, & also his cousin who is like his sister (his parents have unfortunately passed away); we’re fine for this news to be shared with immediate family only ie my siblings, & husbands other cousins, but have asked for a few hours before we send any more info/ photos etc through & the news is shared with anyone else.

Covid restrictions where we live are still fairly strict which means my husband will likely only get a few hours to stay with baby & I in hospital & we really just want this time together as a new family of three & then we can decide how we want to share the news from there.

Are we being unreasonable or controlling about this? I know my Mum in particular will struggle with this as she will be dying to be straight on the phone to my aunties, her friends etc to share the news, & the excitement is lovely of course but she is very much an open book this way whereas my husband & I are more private & would prefer to let people know when we are ready.

Any thoughts or experience much appreciated!

We are the same. DH doesn't use social media at all and nothing about my pregnancy has been posted. Nor will anything about our baby be posted once he's born. My brother FIL posted a photo of their newborn on social media before the family had all been told and it was horrible, my brother was really hurt. My mum is also an oversharer (but fortunately not on social media) and we tend to tell her things last so we know everyone that we want to tell has the news. I do have to specifically say, "please don't announce this to X person for a couple of days" because it's our news but it's hit and miss if she'll listen. She told her family and friends we had exchanged on our house within 15 minutes of us telling her and before DH siblings knew, I called her out on it but essentially she sees it as her news. (I've got a low tolerance for my mums behaviour at the moment)

I don’t see why your mum can’t pass on the news to aunties etc? If nothing else then it saves you having to do it! I honestly think you would be making more drama by telling a select few and swearing them to secrecy. My husband went home the first night after my ELCS and my baby was very sleepy so I was unexpectedly pretty bored between feeds so was FaceTiming anyone and everyone who would talk to me! Unless you’re not mentioning that you’re a major celeb and you don’t want your exclusive with Hello mag ruined then you are way overthinking it! Enjoy those precious first moments, tell people when you are ready, don’t ban anyone from passing on the happy news but also don’t feel obliged to reply to any congratulations messages you might receive.

Trying to control news is setting yourself up for angst. Just send 1 message when "baby arrived, we will let you know when we are up for visitors" then leave them to it. If you don't want to be bothered by their messages of congratulations (😕) just switch your phone off.

I think you are quite sensible to have a plan about this. My family knew when I had given birth but my cousin's wife put a message on my Facebook wall including the baby's name. I was in no fit state to put on a Facebook post to the 'world' at that point and felt rushed to get a picture etc out there. Still annoys me now. It wasn't her news to comment or share and you shouldn't need a plan but there is always one who has no brain and no filter.

Not sure why you've even told 'family and close friends' the date of the CS if you want everything to be private ... I told no one (including my DPs & ILs) until after the baby had arrived ... no idea if my DM told anyone else ... I then sent old fashioned birth announcement cards (do they still exist? ).

Agree with others, you are overthinking it, let your DM tell people, turn off your phones if you don't want to bothered by messages. There is no Law that says you have to post photos etc ... just concentrate on your new baby and don't worry about social media. Most people aren't really that interested, they are just being polite.

I sort of thing you are over thinking this. Why don't you just ask your husband to let them know once he has left the hospital so you get those few hours in peace and by then your mum can just enjoy the news and tell who she likes?

Just text your mum and say you’d appreciate if she keeps it quiet for now as you want to share the news yourself!

Really tho -when the time comes you might not care 😂I had my baby in March emergency c section and we text my mum and I just stopped caring who knew or how they’ve found out - I turned my phone off and just enjoyed the baby and caught up with people later - it didn’t matter how they found out