Talk to me about Epidurals...

[Normando91]

This has probably been asked and exhausted several times. But I’m a FTM and up until today I’ve been pretty relaxed about giving birth in a matter of weeks (35+1)

Today, someone asked me if I would be getting an epidural. I’ve always had the mindset that I would just take things as they come, if the pain becomes too much, I’ll have one. But then I started reading about them and fixating on the negative side effects- mainly women who have had back pain ever since...

So, what was your experience of an epidural?
Or if you didn’t get one, what did you do/have to manage the pain?

Loving hearing your positive experiences. How lovely it would be to sleep through contractions and be woken up to be told it’s time to push 😂

@KM38, I have been meaning to have a little look into it. A lot of people have told me it helped them a lot but I’m not entirely sure it’s for me. I have a good pain threshold and am very much the type to think, I have to get through this for the positive at the end (think dental treatment 😂) But I’m also under absolutely no illusion that this is something I’ve never experienced before and it may be way too much for me. I’ve made my partner very aware (like made him repeat back to me several times and will continue to drum it into his head) of exactly what I want and don’t want. Pretty simple, even for him... I’m open to any pain relief... even more so now hearing people’s experiences of the epidural.

Had one with my first 9 years ago. Was amazing. was out 8hrs later. The night of my sons birth I felt tender and felt a rush of cold water going down my back for a couple seconds. Only happened the once. Back tenderness went away pretty quickly too ... no other side effects since!! Xxx

If you need an epidural you will know. I was shouting at the anaesthetist to hurry up one minute and telling him I loved him the next, it was amazing how the pain disappeared. No side effects for me and so glad I had one. Ended up in an emergency c section but that wasn't due to the epidural. Good luck OP, hopefully your labour will be quick and you won't need one!

@Normando91

Loving hearing your positive experiences. How lovely it would be to sleep through contractions and be woken up to be told it’s time to push 😂

@KM38, I have been meaning to have a little look into it. A lot of people have told me it helped them a lot but I’m not entirely sure it’s for me. I have a good pain threshold and am very much the type to think, I have to get through this for the positive at the end (think dental treatment 😂) But I’m also under absolutely no illusion that this is something I’ve never experienced before and it may be way too much for me. I’ve made my partner very aware (like made him repeat back to me several times and will continue to drum it into his head) of exactly what I want and don’t want. Pretty simple, even for him... I’m open to any pain relief... even more so now hearing people’s experiences of the epidural.

🤣🤣 I was the exact same @Normando91 and honestly, a lot of it wasn’t for me. I just done a quick online course which was just a load of videos to watch because I’d heard so much about it and wanted to see what it was all about - I didn’t go full on reading books and having coaching etc. I’m very much like you with the higher pain threshold and being able to see the end result. I wasn’t on board with the positive affirmations and all that or my partner reading me stories in labour 🙄🤣 but the rest of it is actually really scientific!! It explains really well what is actually happening in your body during each different stage of labour. I found it really helped me focus on each bit so when the pains started I could just zone out and actually think about what my body was doing. Then as I felt the pain progressing I knew I was moving on to the next stage if that makes sense? 🤔🤣 It was good to be able to break it down in my head and focus on each stage. My partner watched the videos too and he found it really useful knowing ways that he could help me and understanding all the options for pain relief etc incase he ended up in a position where he had to make any decisions for me 😊 I used the Positive Birth Company digital pack. Think it was like £30 or something and you just watch the videos in your own time 😊 would highly recommend!

Definitely make sure your partner knows what you want!! Keep drumming it in 🤣🤣 nobody looked at my birth preferences that were written down at all!! The midwives just kept asking me questions so it was great that my partner knew everything and could confidently answer for me when I was focusing on other things 😅

I had an epidural with DC1 because I had such a long labour. It was utter bliss to be out of pain, but it slowed everything down and I ended up needing to have a forceps delivery.

The only side effect was a splitting headache for about half an hour a few hours later, but I had no long term effects. I don't regret it at all, at the time I needed it.

Didn't have one with my second and third babies, shorter labours so I coped without.

I'm pregnant with my first now, I originally would have always assumed I would have one but now I've changed my mind. I've spoken to a few women who didn't get one for any of their pregnancies and I'm of the opinion that I'm just as tough as they are! I'll play it by ear but I hope not to!

But I’m also under absolutely no illusion that this is something I’ve never experienced before and it may be way too much for me.

This is the thing, I think - how the pain is felt isn't just to do with pain threshold / positivity etc, it also depends on your physiology, how big the baby is, how the baby is positioned, how your cervix responds, are you induced etc etc. Everyone's experience is different and while someone might know in advance how good they are at coping with pain, nobody knows how painful their particular labour is going to be or how long it's going to last. So the main thing is, keep an open mind and don't hesitate to get the pain relief you need!

The birth of my first was honestly a lovely relaxing experience having had the epidural early on. I was in a country that doesn't hold back on giving it if you want it. Labour for about 12 hours (couldn't have imagined dealing with contractions for that long!), but just rested and even read and got excited about the baby coming. Ne side effects at all.

Sounds like you had the right mindset before you started listening to other people! 😂 definitely
Go with an open mind. If you can move around during labour just keep going- if the pain is too much - ask for drugs! Xxx

Honestly I think your first answer is the right one - take it as it comes. You'll know in the moment what you want or need, don't be afraid to ask/demand. The Internet is full of horror stories for everything, try not to overthink it xx

I have had more than one.
It is great that you can adjust the affects/strength.
Excellent when you are in unbearable exhaustion or have complications
Worked a treat once it was set up and under way.

I never knew people suffered from back pain following.

@Cinclus

But I’m also under absolutely no illusion that this is something I’ve never experienced before and it may be way too much for me.

This is the thing, I think - how the pain is felt isn't just to do with pain threshold / positivity etc, it also depends on your physiology, how big the baby is, how the baby is positioned, how your cervix responds, are you induced etc etc. Everyone's experience is different and while someone might know in advance how good they are at coping with pain, nobody knows how painful their particular labour is going to be or how long it's going to last. So the main thing is, keep an open mind and don't hesitate to get the pain relief you need!

Completely agree with this @Cinclus 😊 Research your options so that you know what is being offered to you or what to ask for, then wait and see how it plays out 😊 I do have a high pain threshold but as you say, there are so many variables and labour is a different type of pain - you just never know how you’re going to be until you’re in the situation. I did end up with a long labour and no epidural...but there’s certainly no medals for it so if you want all the drugs, take all the drugs 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

Had a home birth DC1 - paracetamol and a tens machine

Had emergency CS DT2/3 my husband walked in as they administered the epidural and heard me cry out in pain. So painful.

Had a numb area in my back for a few years after and then over last few years have had two years off work with sciatica and a herniated disc resulting in spinal surgery.

I had to have it due to CS and would rather that than a GA but it was very painful and if you have a choice (which you may not) I would have it at the end of my list of options.

DC4 home birth with paracetamol and squeezing a tea towel.

Think positively and have an ordered list of the pain relief you want to have.

Use the pain as a journey to meeting your little one. One piece of advice some one gave me was SOS. Sigh Out Slowly. Concentrate on exhaling nice and slowly and taking deep breaths.

Good luck

Brilliant, absolute magic. Had a nightmare induction and had to go onto IV antibiotics during labour as became very ill as well, the epidural was the saving grace of the whole experience! I had a push button one and just eased off at pushing time. Could feel pressure but not pain, it was brill. Had it put in when they broke my waters for me. Having it in meant I didn't have any problems having my forceps, episiotomy and stitches after, as I said to them when they were trying to get blood sample out of my foot they could cut the whole thing off and be non the wiser!
Got my legs fully back about 8 hours later (maybe less, but I managed to have a sleep) and no effects at all.

I really wanted a classic nice birth on the MLU, and I'd still like that for a future child, but if I don't end up with that then I will 100% be asking for an epidural again based on my experience with my first one.

I've not phrased that well, it makes it sound like I think a 'medical' birth is inferior to the 'nice' one in MLU which I really don't. My priority was listening to medical advice and making sure we all came out of the experience healthily which, I've come to realise over time, we were quite lucky to have done so in the end.

I think I just wanted the classic waters breaking, toddling off to hospital, stereotypical experience rather than the twinkly lights and aromatherapy sort of thing. But when you've been on a ward for nearly a week you just want to get the job done and meet your baby at last 😂.

Reading about childbirth choices in advance is a funny thing, because it is an entirely different situation sitting on your sofa, fondly rubbing your bump, imagining what labour might be like to actually being in labour, it is indescribable, it is unimaginable. I don't mean in a terrible way. Some people find it absolutely fine and managable. All I mean is that whatever your expectations of labour are, it's so so important to keep in mind that you may well feel entirely differently once you're actually in it and that is incredibly hard to quantify before the birth. Even if you have been through it before!

For example - this sounds horrific so apologies in advance, feel free to skip - I distinctly remember before my first labour being incredibly worried about the following things:

• Needle in my spine (for epidural)
• Needle in my thigh (for pethidine) - I find IM injections extremely painful
• C-section
• Episiotomy

But then I also remember, once I was actually in the late stages of labour being like "I just want this to end, I just want my baby out, I do not care what you need to do, please cut me open with kitchen scissors, just get the baby out and make it stop." It wasn't even a particularly bad or desperate feeling. It was just like eh, you know what, I'm done, that would be fine, do what you need to do.

I am now pregnant with DC3. I have been through unmedicated childbirth twice. I still cannot imagine a feeling so intense that being cut with any old thing would be a preferable alternative, yet I know that is how I felt in labour. I can remember it!

Your priorities may change.

For DC2, I was extremely worried about having a cannula in my hand, as I was told was the policy at one of the local hospitals (I live abroad, it's not NHS policy generally). I even decided to avoid that hospital because of it, despite it being the only hospital with gas and air - this was a huge mistake. I had it in my head that the cannula would be so uncomfortable and restrictive. I ended up having to have one anyway for some other reason, and I didn't even notice it! I was also very very keen that I would definitely 100% want to use the pool, which was the other reason for choosing the hospital that I did, as it had a higher ratio of pools to rooms. I got in for about 10 minutes and then said no I want to get out, I want to have an epidural, this is doing nothing at all.

Anyway. So with DC2 I did opt for an epidural, and then whether it was due to the baby's position (back to back) or my difficulty staying still for insertion (terrifying experience) I don't know, but it had absolutely no effect on me at all and I ended up feeling really cheated. But the process of having it put in was not as bad as I was afraid it would be (OK, it was, but it was short, managable and against the pain of contractions, it really felt worth it - if it had worked.) So I am hoping to have one again this time, but I will be having a birth planning meeting where I will hopefully have the chance to speak to an anaesthetist and I'm hoping to get some insight into perhaps why it did not work and tips about how to make sure it works this time. DH reckons I need to do it earlier in the labour process.

I have been watching a lot of the videos from this midwife on YT - some of the info is US based but a lot of it is applicable anywhere and I find her quite good. This is one about epidurals and definitely confirmed my leaning towards getting one this time:

I think you sound like you're going about it very sensibly. Don't rule anything out, but think about what order you'd like to try things in. And don't go straight for the nuclear option, but work your way up.

For both my births (one induced, one spontaneous), I had pretty much the same pain relief: paracetamol (HA FUCKING HA), birth ball, hot water bottle, wet flannel for DH to mop my sweaty brow, gas and air near the end. I do not think of myself as someone who's very brave about pain, but I found labour to be qualitatively different and somehow easier for me to cope with. I made more of a fuss about getting local anaesthetic jabs for stitches after my second!

After my first I had to have a spinal for complex stitches, which is like a temporary epidural. I did NOT like it. Absolutely hated not being able to move around, having catheter, not being able to control part of my body. So glad I didn't have an epidural in labour.

But my friend is convinced she wants to go straight to the epidural asap. Horses for courses! It's not just about the physical pain, it's about how you react mentally. I cry when I stub my toe, but somehow grit my teeth and get on with it when in labour.

Caveat is that I can appreciate an epidural giving you a chance to rest in a long labour. Mine were 11h and 4.5h and I was beyond shattered afterwards. If I end up having a long labour for baby #3 (unlikely but possible!) without any indication that baby needs to come out quickly and I should have a c section, then I would consider an epidural so I could rest. But ugh, that feeling of my legs being disconnected hunks of meat was enough to make the threshold quite high for me!

@PerspicaciousGreen... Yes, I totally get where you are coming from with having no feeling in the entire bottom half of your body! I don’t think I’ll enjoy that sensation- perhaps during the painful bit, but afterwards just waiting for the feeling to come back. I’m also not keen on the thought of a catheter, but like I’ve said I’ll see how it goes and do what it takes to safely deliver my little boy ☺️ Oh, I’m definitely hoping I’m not a straight up give me the damn epidural person. I’d like to try it with gas and air first and ideally I think I’d be most comfortable birthing on all fours, which I realise isn’t possible if I do opt for the epidural. Haha, the thought of me just asking for a paracetamol does make me laugh a bit, but you just never know eh!

I had one as my labour wasn’t processing beyond 8cm as my little boy was in the back to back position. It didn’t take away all the pain because it didn’t numb the back completely but I managed a 30 min snooze in what turned out to be a 30+ hour labour x

@Strokethefurrywall

Didn’t have one with the first (hypobirth) - didn’t felt I needed one, easy birth, 4 hours from start of labor to baby.

Second I needed one because DS2 needed close monitoring and possible intervention due to in utero complications so had one.

Blissful, slept through labor and woke to push. No other interventions.

Yes, go into it with an open mindset - I knew I could cope with pain but when pain turns into suffering is where I draw the line.

Good luck!

I'm a FTM too and love this piece of advice. I practice hypnobirthing but I'm keeping a very open mind, if my pain turns into suffering I won't hesitate to ask for more relief!

@Normando91 I took paracetamol because the midwives suggested it the first time. I scoffed (as much as one can scoff when having a contraction) but took it just to shut them up. Second time I took it as soon as I felt the first few contractions just so I could say, "YES, I HAVE taken paracetamol!!!" Don't think it did a thing either time, but at least they'd stop annoying me about it!

I bloody love gas and air. It makes some people nauseous and for others it doesn't touch the sides, but it's brilliant for me. Doesn't take the pain away exactly, but refocuses my mind so I don't think about it so much. Hard to explain!

I knew about all the gravity assisted birthing positions and ended up pushing both of mine out semi-sitting up on my back on the hospital bed! Don't know why, it just seemed "the thing to do" at the time and it worked just fine

Ha ha yes the ubiquitous paracetamol, might as well eat a couple of tic-tacs but it ticks the box!

Have to say though they made me a bag of IV paracetamol for my temperature and that seemed to help. Possibly the antibiotics and epidural doing more of the work 😂

I should say as well don't rule out a TENS machine. I thought it was a load of woo but gave it a whirl anyway but when I had a bit of an over-reaction to my first pessary it really did help. Definitely more than the sodding paracetamol anyway.

That first diclofenac (like ibuprofen but better) after the birth was 👌still got a couple left in the box for if we ever have a real need for them!

@moynomore The birth of my first was honestly a lovely relaxing experience having had the epidural early on. I was in a country that doesn't hold back on giving it if you want it. Sounds exactly like my experience for both births. I do wonder if being in a country that gives them routinely (ie that's the only option and most people have one) means they are better managed. I remember my French anaesthetist literally laughed out loud when I asked him if gas and air was an option as if that was the most primitive, outdated idea he'd ever heard. Here in France the expectation is that you will not suffer - either during the birth or afterwards when you are offered ten sessions of physio afterwards to make sure your pelvic floor is back in full working order and if you still have any problems these are quickly rectified. There's no talk of how much you can put up with and tolerate - the expectation is that you will be helped and supported to have the most comfortable time possible.

@Normando91

I gave birth a month ago and got a low dose epidural which means i could feel the pressure of contractions and move around, walk, bounce on the ball, no catheter, etc but no pain.
I also then went on the drip as the labor slowed down (started dramatically and fast) and got to 10cm very quickly again no pain.
I got to push properly when i was feeling a contraction coming and baby was out with no
assistance in 20min. Crowning was a bit painful as in stretching burning sensation but it was over quickly. And probably nothing compared to the pain without epidural!

Initially i thought i had a high pain threshold and i would be fine with breathing or gas and air but my labor was weird in the sense that i didn't notice early labor and went straight to active when water broke with very very painful long regular contractions immediately. I lasted an hour at home and asked my midwife to notify the doctor am coming and need an epidural 😅

Research low dose epidural. It was the most amazing experience! Dont know if it can be done in the UK...