27 weeks and feeling shit about my weight

[BananaHammock23]

Well, it's as the title says really. I'm 27 weeks with a much-wanted IVF pregnancy and I'm really struggling with my body image. I lost 3 stone prior to having IVF and have a BMI of about 33 now, so I am overweight but much better than I was.

I've dreamed of being pregnant for so long and now it's finally happened I just feel so low about the way that I look. Everywhere I look there seem to be images of these perfect petite women with their lovely neat bumps and I just feel huge in comparison.

This evening I said something to my mum about my bump feeling huge (which it really does!) and she gave me her spiel on calorie counting and keeping my weight down before it gets worse. It just made me feel so shit. I want to embrace myself and my pregnant body but I just feel so out of place. I've struggled with my weight my whole life and I suppose I thought that I wouldn't have the same fear of being 'bigger' in pregnancy, but it's a hard habit to shake.

I don't know what I'm looking for really... does anyone else feel like this?

I feel the same. 31 weeks with a massive bump and loads of weight gain. Mum told me at 27 weeks I looked like I was pregnant with twins (cheers mum), friends all telling me I’m “massive” (eff off). Random woman asking if I was due in the next few weeks when I was 20 weeks.

Feeling guilty every time I eat something because I’m wondering whether I should be calorie counting.

I know all of this is ridiculous but old insecurities crop up. What has been helping me is staying active and sometimes not giving a f if I want to eat something.

Please don’t worry, you are doing so well. People with smaller bumps get similar comments that make them questions themselves too. Basically, as women we have to question ourselves and feel bad no matter what we look like and I’m sick of it so am going to rebel and enjoy my big bump in the last few weeks (even though I feel like so heavy I can barely walk!!)

I lost 6 stone to have a baby and it was a constant mind battle, especially when a family member said I can't wait for you to get fat again I was absolutely huge when I gave birth, but I absolutely flooded the room with waters when she came out, so much so that they all jumped back! The pressure release from it all going was amazing!! I've gained just over 2 stone (baby is nearly 7 months) Be proud of what your body is doing, it's doing an amazing job of growing a tiny human. So what if you gain a bit of weight? It's come off before and it will come off again.

You are growing a baby! Whatever your size and shape, you’re doing amazingly well. Once the baby is here, it’ll all sort itself out, just focus on keeping yourself and baby well.

People are rude. With both of mine, I didn’t actually gain much weight (overweight to start with plus bad nausea) but I had huge bumps each time. Well, they measured normal, just looked big. Oh, the comments. The lollipop lady at DC1’s school was stunned into silence when I said I had three months to go.

I didn't step on the scales or look in the mirror when unclothed from about 12 weeks onwards. It's an approach I'd endorse. Hang in there.

I think people get far too opinionated about how others look during pregnancy! Sorry you're feeling like this OP, it's a tough ride, especially after a journey involving IVF to get to the point you are now.

Do you have the money to treat yourself to a couple of nice new outfits that you feel really good in? Perhaps book yourself in for a pamper session as well if you can (pedicure or something)? And maybe have your hair done? We go through a lot being pregnant and you deserve to treat yourself. I'm in the scenario a pp mentioned where people keep on joking I don't look pregnant (I'm nearly 28 weeks). Whilst I know it's a joke, it gets a bit wearing, so I empathise with having to deal with others unwanted opinions! I'm a fellow IVFer too 🤗 Take care.

I felt exactly the same way. I felt like Id let myself down by getting pregnant whilst I was overweight and not having a picture perfect body and bump. I also didn't like how your weight is a bit out of your control when youre pregnant as you can eat very healthy but will still gain weight because of a baby growing inside you! The constant bump and body comments are exhausting too. My mother in law loved exclaiming about the size of my bump, asking if there were two in there etc.

Really try not to worry (easier said then done, I know). When I look back at photos now I actually like how I looked when I was pregnant because my daughter is so precious and I loved that I was able to grow and nurture her. Buy yourself a couple of nice outfits, take some nice photos and ignore the unhelpful comments. The majority of baby weight will just drop off so try to enjoy this time.

Thanks all, you've cheered me up! I feel exactly the same about feeling like I'd let myself down by getting pregnant while overweight @Pandemicpregnancy - i feel like I've done myself a disservice and perhaps I should have waited until I'd lost even more weight. Would I be happier? I'm not sure.

I don't weigh myself and haven't since the start of my pregnancy as I know this would send me spiralling. I'm trying to eat healthily and I do swim and do yoga a few times a week but I just feel so lethargic all the time.

I think I have so much ingrained fatphobia that I don't have any self respect. I need to try and enjoy this time but I don't want any photos or anything, which I know I'll regret when the baby is older (its our first). Ugh I just feel so sorry for myself. And my mum's staying for the whole weekend so now I feel like I need to watch what I eat the whole time as she's judging me. I'm exhausted of constantly battling with my weight 😞

Now is not the time to battle with your weight (in all seriousness though, if you can breastfeed, I heartily recommend it for getting the weight off and getting an excuse to eat cake. Burns 300 calories a day, 400 after 6 months, and the milk is super fatty so it's a good way to rid yourself of some. Doesn't work for everyone, but does for most. For me the weight starts to drop off from about 4 months. Back to pre pregnancy weight by 6 months, and if I convinced myself to stay within my 2000 calories a day I'd continue to lose weight beyond that). Do take one picture of you with a bump for the photo album- do your hair and makeup, put on a flattering dress (I'd recommend getting one that cinches in under the boobs and flows out from there) and stand in profile. I'd do it at around 35 weeks and again at 38. You don't need loads of them.

Be warned, after birth you retain water like you wouldn't believe, so that's actually when I found I looked my fattest. Around 0-2 months post partum I looked really, really rotund but without the giant belly to tell everyone I was pregnant. It is normal, it will go away. Avoid mirrors if you're like me.