Maternity leave

[Sameoldsameold88]

This is probably going to sound strange!

Currently 36 weeks pregnant with DC2 so go on maternity leave in a couple of weeks. However I am really struggling with the idea of going on maternity leave!

I absolutely love my job! After a couple of stressful years, especially last year (work in an industry hugely affected by Covid and went through a painful restructure last year in which I was really lucky to keep my job) I finally feel settled and happy in my role. Appraisals have been great and I feel challenged and motivated every day.

I have expressed my interest in going back early (taking 5 months at the moment) and asked my dh to take some shared parental leave when I return. I have agreed to go back 3 days a week for 2 months from home using leave to have a phased return back etc

I also suffered with severe post natal anxiety when I had my dd and going back to work massively helped with this.

Dh is not overly supportive of me going back early or taking shared parental leave. He wants me to take the full 9 months off and every time I mention going back he just shrugs it off.

I am also taking a really busy period at work off, so jokingly mentioned to my manager in a team call that I could take slightly less time off and help out for help from home. I would actually really like to do this, and my manager messaged me privately afterwards to say if I was serious there would be no objection, I could work my hours round however suited me and the dc's etc!

Anyone else as strange as I am and really love their job!

I'd wait until baby arrives before you make any decisions as you don't know how you'll feel. If you had a hard time last time you may find this this is completely different. Don't put any pressure on yourself or make any commitments until you've had some time on leave and know how you feel this time round. I'm currently on mat leave with number 2. Before I went off I was adamant I wanted regular contact and to take on small projects, as it happens I couldn't be less interested in what's happening in the office and have muted all communication!

I am the same, I love to keep working a bit while on parental leave! Agree that you shouldn't commit though till baby is here. In your shoes I would say to my boss that I would like to leave the door open and how much notice would they need for me coming back earlier than planned, and also get DH to have serious conversations with his work about taking time off. You could both do 50% from 5-9 months maybe. In my opinion it is your husbands baby too and who should he get to choose to work if he wants to and you are not allowed? Also it is such a good thing for the dynamic of the relationship for him to experience being properly on charge for routine things. Makes the couple so much more balanced and takes the pressure off of you for the next decade through what he will learn.

Whilst I love your work ethic I would wait to see how you feel before committing.

Thanks everyone. I've committed to going back after 5 months but know I can change it if I decide later on. I've just said I will see how I feel for anything else. I'm also going to use my KIT days as well.

Dh thinks I will change my mind which is why he won't agree to planning in some leave now, but he openly admits that he does his job as he had to work where as I really enjoy mine so he could be persuaded hopefully. Salary wise we're pretty equal so the money side isn't an issue.

Guess I'll see how the next few months pan out

I am coming to the end of my maternity leave. I was originally going back at 9 months but when the length of the third lock down became apparent I decided to take the full year. I have had severe pnd and it has been a difficult time for lots of reasons, because of this we have arranged for my little one to start nursery 2 days a week from 10 months. I intend to do 1 KIT day a week during those 2 months which will cover the majority of the nursery costs. I will use the rest of my time to introduce structure and relaxation into my life than isn't at the whim of a tiny human. I have dropped into the odd staff meeting and had a couple of chats with my line manager.