Feeling so low in early pregnancy

[nothanksbarb]

Have name changed as am feeling so ashamed about this.

I'm currently 5+4, and am so so very down and overwhelmed. This is a very much wanted and tried for baby after suffering a miscarriage earlier in the year and I just feel like a failure of a person for not feeling like I can cope.

It's been a hideous year for loads of different reasons, and I felt that we'd finally got some good luck by falling pregnant so quickly after losing the last one.

I'm a SAHM to DD28months and all I'm good for is lying on the sofa and watching tv. I've tried so hard to get out and go to the park but it leaves me totally exhausted and feeling dreadful. I'm getting married in august, so am supposed to be planning that, but just cannot face it at all and I just feel like I'm going to look absolutely disgusting in all of the photos. It doesn't help that at the moment every single thing OH says or does makes me want to punch him in the face because all of a sudden I can't stand to be around him.

I want to lie in bed, in a dark room, and cry and watch Netflix. Every plan I have feels overwhelming and impossible. I don't even want to go to the corner shop.

Please tell me this is normal 💔 I don't remember my early pregnancy with DD and things were so different and much more simple then.

@nothanksbarb I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I'm almost 16 weeks pregnant with my first so I can't relate to looking after a toddler during early pregnancy. However, I also felt very similar to you in the early weeks. I'm currently furloughed and spent all my days/nights on the sofa watching tv and feeling miserable. My OH was working full time and each day he would come home to a messy house. I felt awful but I just couldn't bring myself to get up and get motivated. As soon as he left for work I would sob for no reason at all! I also couldn't stand to be near him, everything he said/did just irritated the hell out of me. I cringed whenever he tried to cuddle or kiss me and I felt terrible. I was really worried that I was falling out of love with him and I'd made a huge mistake planning this pregnancy. I actually made a post about it on here and SO many women said they went through the same thing which was a relief to hear. I felt like that for about a couple of weeks and it seemed to just get better overnight! Me and DP are better than ever and I can't get enough of him all over again. I haven't cried out of sadness for weeks and I have so much more energy!
You are totally normal for feeling the way you do, I promise you it will pass. If you are concerned maybe speak to your midwife? Congratulations on your pregnancy and I really hope you start to feel better soon ☺️ xx

Oh thank you so much @lockdownbabyx - it's so reassuring to hear other people's stories. I keep thinking - what the hell am I doing??? How can I cope with 2?? I think it's also hard to envisage myself not feeling this utterly shite!

@nothanksbarb no problem at all, I know how miserable and lonely the first trimester can be, just know you aren't alone. I also remember people telling me it would pass and I found it so hard to believe, but it really does I promise. Try not to be so hard on yourself xx

Yes I felt very similar - so so tired,lacking in enjoyment of anything, low mood, feeling unwell and just wanting to lie down. It was hellish. Now further on and feeling so much better - like a cloud has lifted and I feel myself again. I felt it wouldn't go away but it really did - it did take till a few weeks after first trimester thoughm You will get past this phase - just awful to experience it at the time.

Early pregnancy is hell on earth. There is no torture like it!! I remember my son was 3 and I thought exactly the same as you. What am I doing!! But it will be fine and they are best friends now and I’m currently pregnant with number 3!! Rest whenever you can. If she sleeps or your husband is home or whatever, go to bed and sleep. And if you aren’t tired just rest and watch tv. Eat and drink properly too. This part will pass!

Thank you all 🙏 ❤️

I think napping during the day is going to be my saviour! I'm also considering going back to work part time so that I can send DD to nursery - I'd so much rather feel crap at a job than feel crap when with my daughter and she loses out. The guilt is so overwhelming and I think is really contributing to my low mood.

I also feel so guilty about doing 'nothing' when dh is working hard all day and coming home to an absolute tip!

@lockdownbabyx could I have a link to your thread? Xx

@nothanksbarb I'm sorry I can't find it anywhere! I've even tried searching my username and it's no where to be found. There are plenty of threads on here though regarding the same topic, I read hundreds when I was feeling so low. Might be worth a google search ☺️.
I definitely think going back to work will help, even part time. That little bit of normality and adult conversation will do wonders for you I think.
I felt awful everyday when DP came home and the house was a tip, luckily for me he was very supportive and didn't mind at all. I hope your DH is the same xxx

I know exactly what you mean. I’m expecting my second but 4 pregnancy in 2.5 years. I have severe HG, I’m on medication but it makes me fall asleep. My DD is only 19 months and doesn’t understand why mummy can’t do anything. I’m fortunately at my parents as we are also in the middle of moving.
Please do feel you are alone because I promise you are not.

I felt the same in my second pregnancy, it was awful and I felt so guilty for feeling that way. It did get better though once I was into the second trimester. I found the whole pregnancy pretty challenging (awful nausea, heartburn, hip pain etc) especially with a toddler to look after. But as soon as I’d given birth I felt a lot better and was so glad I’d got through it. Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s a lot of work making a new human!