Miscarriage emotions

boymum1x · 08/05/2021 22:16

So sorry your going through this it's awful
For me talking to loved ones and giving myself time to cry helped loads!
One day I'd be fine then the next I'd start bursting out crying whilst doing simple jobs like washing up you haven't got a time limit to get over this allow yourself to be sad you have every right to be & in time it will get easier
I found it helpful & reassuring in an odd way knowing how common they actually are & unfortunately it just wasn't meant to be that time but it will be

Original poster

19annie86 · 08/05/2021 22:31

I do find comfort knowing that miscarriage is common unfortunately and that I am not alone. And also comfort knowing that I will hopefully get pregnant again. I feel like i am waiting for a switch to turn on and let me feel happy

OP posts:

Astronaut8 · 08/05/2021 22:37

I’m very sorry for your loss, Tommy’s website has some great support in for miscarriages

4weekstogo · 08/05/2021 23:06

Sorry for your loss

I've had 2 miscarriages both last year and I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant. For me I had a really supportive partner and also I just made sure that we spent time learning to enjoy each other again not just mechanically trying to make babies.

MC is so tough and before we started trying I had no idea how common it is. Nobody wants to talk about it but I haven't been ashamed of it if people want to ask me questions I let them it helps me and them to talk about it.

I wish you all the best of luck it sucks right now but I'm sure your rainbow baby will be even more special when they arrive 🥰

bleachblondemom · 09/05/2021 00:11

I’m sorry you’ve been through this awful thing. Until it happened to me, I had no idea how many women I knew had also been through it.
I was sad for a long time but I took comfort in knowing that I could actually get pregnant. I conceived my son about 4 months after my MC. But I still think about the little baby I lost, and wonder what could have been. And I still feel a bit sad sometimes that he/she never got to be, even though I have my baby boy now. You probably will always remember it, but you won’t always feel so terrible about it. Not everyone likes to open up about these things but you might find that it helps you.

Alissicca17 · 09/05/2021 00:17

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Cafeaulait27 · 09/05/2021 03:11

Hey I’m so sorry for your loss. Do you talk to anyone about your feelings, like a friend or relative? I found that helped me process my feelings although it did take time.

My miscarriage was in October at 9 weeks and I found that after I’d physically healed I felt a lot better. I also managed to catch my baby and bury it under a plant in the garden. I wrote it a little letter and buried it with it. Going to the garden centre and choosing a plant was helpful. So I think it can help to have something physical like a plant where you can stand or sit and have a moment of reflection.

A friend of mine also suggested a memory box, I put my maternity notes, letters and positive tests in there as well as our early scan photo. Sometimes I have a look at it and find that helpful.

M now pregnant again and things are going better this time. After the miscarriage I really wanted to know why it happened but there were no answers as no investigations were done. So I went into research mode of how to improve my chances next time. I found that aspirin, progesterone and natural folate instead of folic acid can help so I took those in my next pregnancy. Researching and making an action plan of sorts helped me.

I also found Tommy’s really good.

It takes time but you will feel better again. Be kind to yourself xxx

Lostintranslatio · 09/05/2021 07:59

I am 8w6d and had yesterday an early scan for reassurance. No embryo or HB could be found, only the empty sack. Waiting now for hospital appointment to confirm the missed miscarriage. I really need it to be all over now. We are devastated but I hope we will be feeling better soon.

EssentialHummus · 09/05/2021 08:09

Very sorry for your loss OP and others. I had a loss last year, round the time when covid was kicking off here. I’d say that unfortunately the main thing that helped me is/was time, and being open with other people about what I’d been through. For my sake but also to normalise it. I’m pregnant again and it has brought up a lot of emotions about the earlier pregnancy but mostly positive ones tbh - I’m expecting twins this time and I know we wouldn’t have had them if it wasn’t for the loss of our little boy. This is after a really hard year in which the loss loomed really large.

It does get better. Don’t rush things, and be prepared for some pretty mixed feelings when friends/relatives announce pregnancies, when you see little babies etc.

Annetisa17 · 09/05/2021 10:20

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Geyser33 · 10/05/2021 19:18

Hello hope it's ok to join?
So sorry for all your losses. There is nothing that can be said or done that makes it any easier but I find real comfort knowing I'm not the only one this keeps happening to.
I had complications after a miscarriage just 2 weeks ago ended up in hospital and had tissue removed from cervix. Stopped bleeding about a week ago but today have started again. Was still getting feint positive tests last week so wondering if this is early period or lingering miscarriage. Has anytime has anything similar?
Sending big hugs to everyone xxx

Geyser33 · 10/05/2021 19:19

@Lostintranslatio

I am 8w6d and had yesterday an early scan for reassurance. No embryo or HB could be found, only the empty sack. Waiting now for hospital appointment to confirm the missed miscarriage. I really need it to be all over now. We are devastated but I hope we will be feeling better soon.

So sorry I had this recently am here if you want to talk x

Geyser33 · 10/05/2021 19:21

@19annie86

Has anyone else who has had a miscarriage any advice on feeling ok again. I feel like I have cried so much, and really want to start to be positive again, anyone who has been through this any helpful advice

I find each day takes me by surprise- one day I'm ok the next my eyes are stinging from the tears. Keep talking to and hugging your partner and you will get through this xxxxxx

Changechangychange · 10/05/2021 19:27

I only felt “really” better when I was pregnant again (or really, when I had safely delivered).

I now have secondary infertility, probably unfixable, and can’t help looking back on all those previous babies who didn’t make it, and wishing that just one of them had. It isn’t as raw as it was at the time though.