Hi everyone!
I'm just trying to vent and I suppose looking for reassurance as I feel so much guilt. Im 36 weeks pregnant with my first baby and overall I've enjoyed my pregnancy so much. I've loved being in the sea, surfing up until my third trimester and trying to keep as calm as I can.
Wee bit of a back story but my sister and I aren't on the best terms at the moment. I'm 23 and she's 29, and over the past couple of years she has dealt with a pretty hard breakup and was in a really toxic relationship.
My sis and I lost our brother ( he was my twin) in a horrific climbing accident when I was 18 and it's been a tough journey for our whole family. I was in uni when it happened and she was in the police. It was awful and lockdown / a change of jobs and settling down a bit has both allowed us to stop and process everything over the past few years. It's been tough but I'm glad that the sea has been my saviour and it's helped me heal so much.
My sister however, she has her own ways with dealing with things and every few days during my whole pregnancy she has been bombarding me with her life complications. She's constantly up and down about the way she looks, dating, going on and off dating apps, criticising people who choose to live a simple life instead of constantly travelling, moaning about her job, moaning about absolutely everything. Every time she messages or phones it's soul sucking and my belly sinks when her name comes on my phone. Tbh I've never had this with my sis before up until the past couple years.
Back to the point ( ramble !) she asked if she could come and stay with my partner and I next weekend. She's travelling up from work and I was happy for her to stay the night but also dreading the negativity from her, especially as I'll be 37 weeks pregnant. I told her about this and she's flipped at me, saying I have no idea what it's like to be in her shoes, saying everything is on her shoulders etc. So she's not staying here anymore and will be staying with our fokes. I feel bad but she isn't hiring a car and asked me if she could use our car for driving up and down the coast ( I have my hospital bags packed in the car and need it here incase I go into labour ).
I feel guilty because I've told her I can't take this negativity anymore and I've explained I'm hurt that she hasn't asked me how the baby is. Only once during this pregnancy she has asked me how baby is. I've constantly been helping her, phoning her, trying my best to give her advice and to go out and exercise, join up at the pool at it's now open and get out in nature. Shes definitely tried but it's a constant negative cycle and I'm starting to get really fed up of it.
I feel guilty because she's my only sibling left, and I would like her to be apart of my wee boy's life. However I don't think I can handle her negativity anymore , especially as I have my baby to focus on and concentrate on him having a good, fun upbringing. I can't deal with her shit right at the end of my pregnancy!! I want to enjoy the last few weeks and not stress. How the hell do I over come this guilt? 😩