How to know what to do?!

[Bunny2021]

I’ve just entered the third trimester and everything is starting to feel very real. I’m now freaking out as to how I’m meant to know stuff.

So far most things I’ve found out have been by accident (e.g. before getting pregnant I had no idea you weren’t supposed to have hot baths - I found this from an influencer doing a Q&A).

How do you know what to do?! What are they meant to sleep in? How much do they eat? What do you dress them in? How the hell do you bring up a baby?!

I’ve got NCT booked so hoping to find out more there but it’s all feeling very overwhelming at the moment.

I have found a lot of information by googling and ended up on here. And most of it is learning on the job!

My little one wears sleeping bags - different togs for different temperatures but to be honest had most of his naps in my arms or pram for the first 4/5 months and was in a sleeping bag at night.

Feeding - your baby will guide you. Also if you are breastfeeding there is no way of knowing! But if you are bottle feeding there are guidelines as to how much formula to give them so you can gauge if you are kind of on the right track...

I just found the first few months were feeding, sleeping, going for walks, FaceTiming grandparents (thanks Covid). And by the time my baby was around 4 months I didn't feel like such a huge dummy and felt much more confident.

Also he wore nothing but sleep suits (which I always thought were called baby gros and very confused if they were meant to be exclusively for sleeping...) for about 5 months.

The baby academy do a great free 2 hour class online all about the basics - would highly recommend!

@Bunny2021 mybabyacademy.co.uk/free-online-workshop/

I didn’t think about any of that stuff until baby was actually here!
I was all alone in the mat ward with a new baby and thought ‘erm, okay, now what?!’
1 month on, we’re slowly getting there 😊

How do you know what to do: you don't. They cry and you try various things to stop them crying. Offer milk, change nappy, and if that fails they need a sleep. Rock them on your shoulder. Give them a dummy maybe.

What are they meant to sleep in: a cot or a Moses basket. Moses baskets are good cause you can carry them around the house when they're sleeping eg into the bathroom when you want a shower. They only last for 6 months though so you'll need a cot eventually. Get cellular blankets to put over them when sleeping. Primark does them.

How much do they eat: you're encouraged to feed responsively now whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding. If bottle feeding they'll feed every couple of hours at the start, only an ounce or two, then gradually take more milk and feeds farther apart. Then they eat food at 6 months. Remember to wind after feeding: pat their little back until they burp. They'll probably sick up a bit at the start.

What do you dress them in: a short sleeve vest and a baby gro/sleep suit (they're the same thing). Get at least 10 vests and 10 sleep suits in newborn/up to one month to start off with, and a hat or two for hospital. They'll last for maybe 3 weeks depending on babies size. Then they go into 0-3. Again, vests and sleep suits. Hats and coats for outside. People will give you outfits and you can start experimenting with them then when you are ready.

How the hell do you bring up a baby: just feed them, change their bum and don't let them go more than 2 hours without attempting to get them to sleep. They love sleep, they get angry if they haven't had enough.

Thanks everyone! Entering the third trimester has really made me start to realise that I have no idea what I'm doing!

Really helpful advice and I will check out the Baby Academy.

You just wing it!! It's all trial and error with a 1st child. That is pretty much parenting in general, we're still learning and our eldest is 15 now. Baby stage is a breeze really.

NCT answers most of these questions, mumsnet can fill in the rest

How do you know what to do: offer milk, cuddles, fresh air and walks in the pram or sling, talk to them, more milk and cuddles. It’s wonderful at times and also hellish at times.