confused & looking for support

[mmmr7]

hi, i hope this is an appropriate place to post this.
i'm 20, at uni & just gone through a bad a sudden breakup.
breakup sex has led to very very early pregnancy, i had taken the morning after pill but due to an eating disorder i hadn't kept this down (didn't even cross my mind until days later)
confused on what to do, my mental health is terrible and i often feel as if i have no purpose and no real reason to stick around any longer. i never even planned on having kids ever, but i keep catching myself thinking that maybe this is a sign that i need to hold on, and the universe is giving me something to live for. but i'm scared that's just me being stupid.
obviously this would completely turn my whole life upside down, but i think i want to keep the baby, but i'm scared of telling anyone especially my ex. my family will be so disappointed as they want to badly for me to stay in uni. everything is telling me to have an abortion, but i just can't shake the feeling that maybe this is the right thing and what was meant to happen. i've never even pictured myself as a mum.
please any advice. thank you.

Don't want to read and run. Can you access any pregnancy counselling to give you someone impartial to talk with about how you are feeling?

Are you getting any professional support with you'd eating disorder? That sounds a priority.

I agree it would be a good idea to speak to a counselling service to help you work through what you'd like to do, does your uni have one? I'm sorry to hear about the bad break up which sounds really hard

As its very early it's a very good idea to get started on folic acid quickly now in case you decide to continue with your pregnancy. You could get it from a pharmacy or Tesco or somewhere! Good luck!

@PragmaticWench

Don't want to read and run. Can you access any pregnancy counselling to give you someone impartial to talk with about how you are feeling?

Are you getting any professional support with you'd eating disorder? That sounds a priority.

i'm on a waiting list for support for it. thank you for the advise :)

@2021herewecome

I agree it would be a good idea to speak to a counselling service to help you work through what you'd like to do, does your uni have one? I'm sorry to hear about the bad break up which sounds really hard

As its very early it's a very good idea to get started on folic acid quickly now in case you decide to continue with your pregnancy. You could get it from a pharmacy or Tesco or somewhere! Good luck!

thank you for the advice i am going to call my uni first thing tomorrow. will get some folic acid too to make sure

That’s so tough. I’d understand what support is available from your uni, especially what childcare could be put in place. But if you feel you don’t want an abortion, it’s going to be very difficult to recover from. Take some time to let the news settle in before telling family who will all have very strong opinions- do you have a non-judgmental and discreet friend who you can talk things through with in the meantime?

I second this! If you are 20 I can assume you are in your second year? Most university will allow you to defer a year so you can also go back and finish following your maternity if you choose.

I would also speak with your family, if you feel ready. They may offer you lots more support and options so you feel you can make the best choice for yourself and baby.

100% agree with getting support

sorry sent too soon,

Definitelt agree with getting support. Baby or no baby , mental health is so important whatever you decide!

There's a lot to unpack here and whether or not you proceed with this pregnancy you definitely will need a good support system.

Your Uni should have a counselling service via the Student Union and I would urge you speak to support services like BPAS , the miscarriage association and whoever the university recommends. There's a lot of help out there regardless of your decision. :)