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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Don't know what to do... Parenting Delayed Toddler during 2nd Pregnancy Complications

3 replies

RedWhiskey93 · 05/05/2021 17:58

I'm 33 weeks pregnant, had my first at 35 +6 and am paranoid about having this one early. He turns 2 tomorrow and is still nonverbal and believed to potentially end up of the autism spectrum.

He doesn't understand a lot of directions but has the obstinace of a typically developing child (basically 2) and is excellent at all things physical (ie climbing onto things and etc). So the stuff he does know, he ignores because he knows mommy can't get to him or stop him as quickly.

I'm already home full time to care for him and deal with his multiple therapy appts a week and etc (and I try to do some self-employed delivery driving when I'm not as miserable, but average less and $100 a week.)

My husband works full time and has union classes 2 nights a week until 1030 pm and leaves around 6 am daily.

I have fully open diastasis recti, like 6 inches at the widest point, too. Palpably separated Pubic Symphysis with severe groin pain and significant hip instability where it sometimes audibly grates when i try to move around. My hormones have completely dried out my lady bits and given me fissures on my labia. I already had 2 herniated discs. Nerve root entrapment. Chronic sciatica associated with that, of course. Chronic near daily diarrhea they think is from and Auto Imunne disease but won't do testing until after pregnancy... Injured my ribs half way through pregnancy so I can't sleep on my left OR right side without waking up in intractable pain.... and have a non-healing eye injury from kiddo from 2 days before Christmas that will need a procedure post-delivery. Oh and 3 painfully impacted wisdom teeth that were needing extracted surgically before I even found out I a was pregnant.

And I just keep trucking on caring for my toddler because I have to, and want to. But I'm not even sleeping due to my other issues and I'm just hitting a wall. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next (hopefully) 7 weeks caring for my toddler sufficiently.

I have no one i can ask for help watching him. He's never been to daycare and wouldn't be ready for a class with peers anyways. I also cannot afford it at all (thank you foolish young 20s me in the military 🤷‍♀️).

I just wanted to list out my issues so I can at least have someone know them all. Because during the day to day they just feel like excuses and that I'm failing my eldest. And I'm still feeling so guilty about being pregnant with #2 when he is needing so much attention to try to get him a Jumpstart and catch him up with his peers early, minimizing impact.

How will it be if #2 is worse off than #1, or even if #2 is better off but #1 doesn't progress and I have to watch him bypass his older brother...

It's just a lot. And I am just physically hurting so bad all over, all the time...

Rant over, I guess.

OP posts:
RedWhiskey93 · 06/05/2021 11:49

Bump... it's sweet boy #1s 2nd Bday today, love him so much it hurts ❤❤❤

OP posts:
Snackz · 06/05/2021 12:01

@RedWhiskey93 Bless you! Congratulations on your pregnancy Smile If I was you, I'd concentrate on YOU til baby is here. It sounds like you're having a tough time which is probably heightened by your hormones anyway.

As for #1, don't feel guilty for getting pregnant again. It sounds like you're doing the best you can with the therapy sessions etc. Don't worry if he's behind his peers either; all babies and children are different and achieve different milestones when they're ready.

I bet you're doing an amazing job! Smile

Snoopy28x · 07/05/2021 10:44

Wow.. you are one incredible strong lady/mummy! I take my hat off to you. I had really bad spd and dealing with a 2 yo with my previous pregnancy and that horrendous to just try and play/function without crying. So I really do think you are amazing for dealing with all you have going on.

I think the baby #2 guilt is strong anyway without the added pressures of a child that needs extra attention/care. Go easy on yourself. Once the baby is here your body can at least have a bit of a break so focus on resting as much as you can and also look after your mental health to.

Are there any support groups you could get in touch with? Sometimes it helps just talking to people in a similar situation xx

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