I can't let myself get excited

[K821]

I'm currently around 8 weeks and have always always dreamed of having children. I am truly so happy but I feel like all I'm feeling is worry.

I'm not sure when I will allow myself to start being excited- planning ahead, buying babygrows, planning labour. I just feel as though I cant let myself believe it is real, just in case god forbid the worst happens. I have the date for my 12 week scan and always thought the further along I get the more I'll accept that everything is ok.

When do you start to let yourself believe that you are REALLY going to have a baby?! That it is ok to start buying things. I know there is no time limits and everyone is different but, is there something wrong with me?

Xx

2 years TTC, 1 round of IVF, 1 stillbirth.

Another round of IVF, 1 miscarriage, more IVF, finally a healthy baby. Then a surprise natural pregnancy.

For me I didn't really believe I was having a baby till I had one that was alive and I could take home from the hospital.

With both of mine, it took me until I’d had my 20 week scan

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP :) I am a little over 13 weeks pregnant, and I found it was really after my 12 week scan that I started believing I am actually going to have a baby. Seeing her looking so well developed and kicking her legs made it all so real, and statistically at the point the risk of miscarriage is very low. I've not quite reached the stage of letting myself buy baby stuff, still feels like tempting fate but I think the 20 week scan will give me enough reassurance to get there.

I have a lot of sympathy, I spend much of the first trimester convinced that I was going to miscarry any second, it just all seemed too good to be true so I was sure something had to go wrong. Hang in there, the excitement will come :)

When I took mine home at 3 weeks old (after several rounds of ivf and a premature delivery).

I’m 20 weeks and still won’t let myself believe I’ll have a baby in my arms at the end of this.

Even when I feel his kicks, i bring myself back down to earth remembering the 4 miscarriages it’s taken to get to this point.

We have started buying bits, mainly because we can’t afford to just leave it all until the end, but I almost feel a panic of guilt/uneasiness every time we buy something.

What your describing doesn’t sound unusual @K821. I had a miscarriage last year and early bleeding this time round. I spent most of the first trimester feeling very anxious. I coped by taking it day by day and then week by week. I definitely didn’t want to talk about breastfeeding and labour plans at my booking appointment!

The 20 week scan was a big milestone but I had bleeding again at 22 weeks and had to spend a few days in hospital. It was after that I started buying a few things as I decided I wanted to focus on planning for a positive outcome rather than go back to ‘what if’s’ but the anxiety definitely returned for a bit, particularly before appointments. Now 30 weeks and it still feels quite unreal. It’s definitely been a journey!

I've had 1 MMC and I couldn't even consider it until after the 20 week scan. I didn't relax or become less anxious until after fetal movements and growing the hint of a bump towards the end of the second trimester.

Congratulations, I would say after the 20 week scan with both pregnancies before I really allowed myself to accept it was really happening. I think once I felt proper regular movements and was past half way it really sank in.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I'm beginning to believe that these forums are the worst for letting you geel3like everything's going to be ok. DS was born in 2012 and these forums weren't a big thing still. Never worriesld about miscarriage or chemical pregnancy or any of the things yoy see on here. Now TTC again and i'm worried before it's even started. Too much info, too many horror stories are something a bad thing.

My advise? Put your phone down and enjoy the wonderful experience of being pregnant.