Miscarriage at 9 weeks

[19annie86]

Just a wee question to see how others coped after miscarriage, did anyone go back to work straight away or take time off. I dont know whether to tell people in work because it will start me crying again, iv done alot of crying when the heavy bleeding started and knew something wasnt right, going to the early pregnancy scan and being told I had miscarriage didn't come as a shock to me I had already accepted it earlier that week as I said when the bleeding had started

I just want to start by saying I’m really sorry for your loss. 💐

I think it’s very different for everyone. I had about 6 weeks off following my MC and I actually didn’t end up going back to that job- I was working on maternity triage and antenatal at the time though and I wouldn’t have been able to escape people having babies.. it was a difficult time but I know having the right amount of time off for me really helped me

♥️

Really sorry to hear that, it's very understandable if that was your job it would be so hard to go back

I miscarried on the Friday and wfh via zoom meetings the next week but on the Wednesday I took off sick as I needed a day in bed crying.

However I work with family and shared what was going on, and we were in a critical time. One of my team took 2 weeks off following hers and I was fully supportive of this as her boss, so I really hope you are able to and you can take off the time you need to recover.

Funnily enough last night I was crying about my miscarriage, it was back in November..... it comes in waves xx

Condolences. If you feel you need some time off then take it.

My 1st mc I was 12wk, I went to work just hours after the worst of my bleeding. I'd had the previous week off with our eldest being ill and didn't get sick pay so just couldn't afford to take more time off. 2nd new job so no sick pay and I went back the day after it started. Others I was a sahm so just got on with life around them as dh works away and we didn't tell others about the pregnancies. I needed the distraction of getting on with things, it's hard at 1st but it gets easier.

I was in work all last week when the bleeding started before miscarriage was confirmed, I just knew the outcome, I feel that being in work was a distraction and stopped me constantly looking up my symptoms on the internet, I know my boss will tell me to take of as much time as i need, but part of me doesn't want them knowing as it will trigger my emotions all over again

Hi OP. I miscarried several times, mostly around the 8-10 week mark. I took a week or two off work around those times, physically it wasn't particularly painful but I just felt quite low and needed to take care of myself. Thinking of you, OP.

Sorry for your loss . I was signed off for a month when I had a mmc and surgical management.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have a miscarriage about 8 weeks pregnant last year. I told my boss who was so understanding and told me to take at least a week off. The way I told my boss was I sent her a text (was worried I'd be crying lots). She then called me and I didnt have to go through everything that happened with her. I'm really glad I had that time as I don't think I would have been able to focus on work. I ended up taking a week off and it was good for me to rest, reflect on things, process it all, have a good cry some days and spend time with DH.

Really sorry to hear this OP 💐had a miscarriage at 17 weeks and took 2 weeks off. I then went back and it was too soon as I was just so emotional. So had 3 weeks off in total. Found it really hard then as no one said anything (as I'm sure they didn't know what to say) but after 3 weeks I was more able to deal with going back.

So sorry for you're loss! Iv currently just experienced a miscarriage myself and was given a sick note for a week when I attended the scan that confirmed baby had gone on Friday. I passed the featal sac on Wednesday and I feel quite traumatised by the whole experience. I'm hoping I'm ready to go back to work after a week as don't want to dwell on things too much but if I'm not then I will stay off for longer. Miscarrying is an awful experience and we need time to heal both physically and mentally. Look after yourself OP and take all the time you need xx

Thank you all for your support and advice

So sorry you're going through this .

First time I took two weeks off , second time was MMC and surgical management. I was signed off for a month.

Hugs to you

@19annie86 Sorry for your loss.. 😘 remember to do whatever feels right for you.. and do things in your own time.

I had a miscarriage last April at around 7/8 weeks, when we were in the first lockdown, I was given a 2 week sick note as I had a few issues with my HCG levels not decreasing as fast as they liked. I ended up having a week and as I was WFH & did some reduced hours during my second week and the same again the 3rd week after speaking to HR. I felt a bit useless sat doing nothing but couldn't give 100% focus. In hindsight I should probably have listened to my head and body and taken the full 2 weeks as it took a while to sink in what had happened that I think I had a bit of a delayed reaction to it all x

So sorry to hear everyone's story about miscarriage, it is such an awful thing. I think I will perhaps take a week as I am quite drained from it all

Very very very sorry for your loss :( went through the exact same thing at 9 weeks so can only imagine how you felt.

Personally i continued to work as it was a distraction for me. As i was working from home it was easier however if it wasnt for the pandemic and I had to go in I would have probably had a week off.

Entirely how you feel. Everyone grieves differently and has different coping mechanisms. Whatever works for you. I told my boss who kept it private and also was easy on me with work load etc.

Sending you lots of virtual hugs and hope you have a beautiful healthy baby again soon xx

Thank you so much for your kind words xx

I’m so sorry this has happened. I had the same st 10 weeks in December..it’s a horrible thing to go through.

As others have said I think it depends on the person as some people like to keep busy to cope whereas others need the break and time to process. I went back after 3 days to try keep busy and distract myself but ended up being completely unable to concentrate, having a huge panic attack and being in floods of tears so I took another week off. I think I was trying to pretend it hadn’t happened and for me personally needed time to process.

I’m pregnant again now and approaching 10 weeks and it’s brought a lot of the feelings back, I’ve actually started therapy (for other reasons initially but it’s been really useful to talk about what happened). I thought I’d ‘gotten over it’ as much as you possibly can but the new pregnancy definitely stirred things up again so it may be useful to talk to someone if you feel it would help you.

All the best and I hope you manage to take some time for yourself or whatever’s right for you at the moment x