What do midwifes mean they they say enjoy your pregnancy?

[JamEmily93]

At the beginning I had quite bad pregnancy sickness in the evenings. When I told them it had stopped the midwife said "you can start to enjoy your pregnancy now." I'm not entirely sure what there is to enjoy about it. I've put on weight, I can't tie my own shoes, I can not continue doing my gardening, chopping down overhanging branches (I get tired quick and cant be going up ladders). I can still paint the fences if the weather's nice. 27 weeks now, just going to become less able to do things on my own over the next 13 or so weeks. Which is a thought I hate the idea of. Bleeding gums and nose and hormonal and mood changes, really bad indegestion. Plus I'm having trouble sleeping because I can't get comfortable. The kicking is ok but I wouldn't say enjoyable, but nice to know they are still alive (not stillborn). (I previously had a miscarriage and it's still a concern at the back of my head). I just feel like it's a rant not a question. Plus I see a difference midwife very appointment cus my nominated one Is shielding (due to covid) so I basically repeat myself at every appointment. They don't suggest anything that isn't online. Hip pain from sleeping on side, massage, extra pillows, heat pack. Any other suggestions for that? Or how to enjoy being pregnant? Got 5 weeks left a work before holiday/ML any suggestions for not getting bored while I'm waiting for baby to arrive?

On the one hand I guess you are pregnant so might as well focus on the positives? Idk really, I’m not a fan of gestating either. I’m 18 weeks and have upgraded from “constant exhaustion and debilitating all-day nausea” to “a bit knackered and only retching at the fridge/bin/sink in the morning, night time and when I’m really tired” and know from experience that this is about as good as it gets for me! I’m mostly enjoying the fact that it’s only temporary and at the end of it will be a lovely snuggly baby who will eventually be old enough to make me a cup of tea.

Can't do this and that is more a mindset.
I have continued to do most things throughout pregnancies, I could even tie my own shoelaces right up to birth with my twins (the midwife was impressed lol). I have endured a lot of pain in pregnancy with spd/pgp and carring very large bumps but I still enjoyed the little things (that you really do miss after birth). Things like feeling baby wriggling around which is something only you will ever get the joy of. It feels like pregnancy drags during but once they're born you just think it was sooo short and then you have all the worries of a baby/child.
I struggled to sleep more than anhour at the back end of pregnancy with the twins, I was absolutely exhausted by the time they were born. The husband was less use than a chocolate teapot the last 12 weeks too as he broke his leg was like I had 4 kids not 3, you plod on and get through it.
After baby is here it'll get busy and you'll miss those boring times so enjoy doing very little.

As a HG sufferer in all pregnancies, I have no bloody idea what they mean by that or how 'normal' pregnancies are like but I'd assume it means taking things slowly, not being compelled to do certain things, getting extra naps in and taking advantage of good hair and skin because it only goes south after that!

They probably are thinking of when the baby is here and you can’t eat/ sleep/ wee on your own

They don’t mean enjoy the physical aspect of being pregnant, they mean enjoy the prospect of having your baby, getting excited about it, buying all the things you will need etc.

Yep, it's more a warning to make the most of your last bit of freedom 😄

There shouldn’t be any reason to not be able to do normal things. I completely decorated the nursery ceiling to floor including sanding and painting the floor boards by hand at full term and I was enormous! Why can’t you continue gardening? Sounds like you’re going on maternity leave particularly early as well, if you stay later there’s less time to be bored but then again it’s a great time to batch cook rest for after, build the nursery furniture and have a good declutter and clean.

My friend had a lovely pregnancy, hardly any issues besides slightly minor ones and she loved being pregnant bar the last 3 weeks. Some people have amazing pregnancies. Not me though I have every pregnancy related issue possible and I'm only 12 weeks 😂😂

In my first pregnancy I was absolutely fine, all the way to the end. Could get on with everything, work, gardening etc. This time is completely different. I am so tired and achy, bending down is so much more uncomfortable, I have horrendous piles and heartburn, I have finally stopped throwing up and 25 weeks, all pregnancies are different. Don’t listen to people that say it’s fine and you can get in with things. What they mean is their pregnancy was fine and they could carry on just fine.

I can do some gardening like weeding, planting and painting fences. I do have to take regular breaks now cus I get tired quite quickly. If I have a sitting down job then I dont usually need extra rest periods. My self set job for this summer was to cut down over hanging branches from the tall trees in the garden but I can't exactly go up 15m ladder with a Chainsaw while pregnant...

I've got all my holiday to use up before I go on maternity leave so that's why it's so early, (if I don't use it before I will loose it all). Batch cooking, de Clutter and cleaning is a good idea. I was just imagining I would be sitting on the sofa all day struggling to stand up.

Only me getting to feel baby wiggle isn't something I had thought of. Hubby is jealous of that I suppose.

Only got a few weeks left of baby free time, will be very different after. Lots more to take with me if I go out anywhere on day trips.

It's probably more enjoy your last few weeks of baby free time before 18 plus years of no time to yourself. although with social restrictions its not real that easy unless I walk around country parks and beaches on own in the week, which can be a bit lonely.

@romdowa

My friend had a lovely pregnancy, hardly any issues besides slightly minor ones and she loved being pregnant bar the last 3 weeks. Some people have amazing pregnancies. Not me though I have every pregnancy related issue possible and I'm only 12 weeks 😂😂

This is they key. I loved being pregnant. Very little sickness, didn't put on a lot of weight, worked, gardened and exercised right up to 36 weeks. There wasn't anything I couldn't do. So, I was really lucky. I didn't necessarily "enjoy" being pregnant, but was lucky enough it didn't change my life much. I pretty much carried on as normal.

I've got all my holiday to use up before I go on maternity leave so that's why it's so early

Have you asked whether you can be paid for it instead? That's what I did, as I didn't need the holiday, and could still work, they paid me in lieu instead.

I never understood this. Also, I never understood the exhortation to go out and enjoy yourself before the baby arrives. I mean what did they expect you to do -- go out dancing? You can't drink alcohol and half the stuff on the menu is off limits because of listeria.

I struggled in the first half of pregnancy and imagined it would only get worse and worse but for me it really didn’t. It levelled off at about 24 weeks and I obviously got bigger after that but it wasn’t any more limiting. I did lots of sitting in cafes, reading etc and walking in the woods when friends went off hiking or running. I also went to two lovely pregnancy yoga classes, one was proper yoga for those who practiced before and the other was more like antenatal group. Both were love
Y and I met nice people I also saw in my first six months of mat leave too. I always intended to swim too but never really got round to it.

I agree with the person that said it’s about mindset. I didn’t really enjoy being pregnant as such but then I literally did nothing else different, I just tried not to act pregnant and in my mind life was normal, id often be told I was overdoing it but I knew I was totally fine and that way it whizzed by!

Tbh I could still tie my shoes at 41 weeks pregnant, so maybe that made a difference, maybe I got lucky😂

It's not all about mindset so don't feel guilty if you don't feel up to it.

In my first pregnancy my feet hurt so much I couldn't walk round the supermarket without crying and I generally have a very high pain threshold.

I didn't understand that turn of phrase at all during my first pregnancy and didn't see what there was to "enjoy" about it

When I was then unable to get pregnant again and stay pregnant (5 miscarriages 2 ruptured ectopics lost both tubes and had to do 5 rounds of IVF) and I was desperate to be pregnant i completely understood what she meant when I finally got pregnant with my twins. It was a bloody hard pregnancy but I was so bloody grateful for it that I did try and enjoy it or at least make the most of it as I'll never be pregnant again

Some of it is a bit tongue in cheek a bit as we lose our body to a greater cause! But some women just love being pregnant!
I think there is also an element of enjoying your last independence for a while as when baby comes, you crave just being able to go out for 30 minutes on your own!
I am a keen runner and horse rider, so lose a lot of my hobbies during pregnancy... I’m 21 weeks and still running and riding, but a lot less and not competitively. It’s hard seeing other people jumping my horse and I’m aching from a 40 minute run! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣 but I know it’s short term and I am just enjoying getting out on my own and enjoying the fresh air without worrying about baby sleeping, feeding etc 😊

I'm enjoying it personally, its been a very easy pregnancy so far though. I'm 18 weeks and feeling fantastic. Just started telling people in the last couple weeks which has been lovely, everyone has been so positive and happy for me!