Contaminated kitchen - how to stop worrying?

[BertiesMangos]

Hi all,

An unfortunate series of misunderstandings means that yesterday I chopped and ate a salad using knife/ chopping board/ utensils that my husband had used for raw fish - the main misunderstanding being that I thought his nods were signalling that he had got the equipment out, clean, for me to use, whereas in fact he was telling me that yes, they needed cleaning. We ate the salad with the cooked fish on top - so no, I didn't notice anything tasting unusually fishy.

I'm aware I can't undo this, and that in future we both need to slow down and not rush food prep in order to make sure nothing like this happens again.

But - that doesn't stop the immense worry. I haven't slept and I'm doing everything in my power to avoid dr google, but I'm absolutely petrified about the potential listeria implications in particular. Earlier in pregnancy I did do a lot of googling and I'd read an estimated 25% of raw salmon is infected with it so I'm finding it so hard to stop thinking. And this isn't a 'normal' event that happens to people (it's more idiocy on our parts...) so my attempts to reassure myself about listeria infections being rare aren't getting anywhere, because the stats are reliant on people having a basic level of food hygeine that slipped us by yesterday.

I don't think I've ever felt as down and helpless as I do right now. I can't get out of bed. I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to develop it, and going to pass it on to baby, and therefore that there is no point in getting my hopes up about the rest of this pregnancy.

I'm reaching out to anyone who might have had similar worries - how did you deal with them? How did you let go and enjoy your pregnancy?

I called Tommy's midwife helpline at the start of my pregnancy due to feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, took around 2 hours to get callback from a midwife. Felt so much better after just talking. They are closed today due to bank holiday, but please call tomorrow and explain your worries. If that doesn't help call your GP or midwife to discuss.

I'm 17+1 today, had NHS scan at 13+2 and baby seemed fine. I've been worried on and off about various things since I found out I was pregnant at 4+4. Had a miscarriage early last year at 6 weeks so worried non-stop about that until 13 week scan. Then worried about toxoplasmosis for weeks after an accidental possible exposure. Got a negative test at GP around 2 weeks later and stopped worrying.
During first trimester I was aware pate should be avoided due to high vitamin A (wasn't aware of listeria at the time). At 12-13 weeks I ate a tiny amount spread on a half-piece of toast, packet was from supermarket, foil-sealed and open less than 48 hours. For some reason when asked about forbidden foods I admitted this to my partner's mum who just sighed in response. Both his parents have seemed anxious when we last met and it's left me feeling guilty/anxious that something I've done will harm the baby.

The chance of anyone including pregnant women developing listeriosis is very remote. Try to remember all the other efforts you have and will put in over 9 months, and that lots of pregnant woman probably have no idea of the advice, lots of folk I know just don't read, and would go through non the wiser without any problems.

My anxiety has also been overwhelming last few days. Next scan is 2.5 weeks, I'm thinking if baby looks OK I can stop worrying.