Sad

[Shaheryar]

I have been married for almost 9 years and it’s been quite happy but we have had a lot of fights and bad times but then got better again.My problem is I have 2 kids and pregnant with 3rd for the past 2 weeks I could tell my husband was getting emotionally distant from me now I would like to add it’s not my pregnancy hormones or imagination I could tell that there is a weird feeling when we both are around eachother.

He stopped hugging me even wasn’t talking that much I could feel something was missing he’s fine with kids laughing and playing but with me I could sense something off he’s not behaving himself like he used to.I asked him today becuase in the evening he came sat next to me wanting sex but I didn’t feel like becuase I was hurt inside that’s he’s been behaving like this then expects to make love when I don’t feel connected with him.
We went out today with kids for shopping and we were literally waiting in the air for 40 mins and he was enjoying with kids but didn’t even blink eye towards me it felt weird.when I told him in the evening jowo felt he got devensive with me and said not the same crap again you always moaning and going around in circles that pissed me off when he said that then telling me that please don’t ruin my mood so my feeling are just useless I should just keep my mouth shut.

He tells me people will laugh if they heard that you are jealous of kids I told him who the hell said I’m jealous they are our children I just said that yes kids are important but it doesn’t mean you don’t give me anytime or just treat me like I’m nothing why do I always have to initiate everything with him why doesn’t he make effort to talk or spend time with me why do I have to end up like this.

I feel hurt that he doesn’t show me any defection but yet fine with the kids am I just boring now or he’s bored of me.

He’s a good father he does everything for his kids and he has done everything for me as well but emotionally I don’t get anything from him I’m just not feeling happy he makes no effort with me.

He was never like this before all of sudden he’s acting like I’m not important and just with kids even though he tell me you are with me whole day everyday yet I still feel so lonely.

This started 2 weeks ago? Did anything happen, even if it seemed minor, that could explain the change? Have you asked him how he is feeling?

It sounds like when you do mention how you feel, your husband dismisses it. I don’t know if he is a defensive person but my partner is and he tends to respond poorly if I bring up these types of issues. He always assumes I am attacking him, rather than merely trying to open up a discussion. That doesn’t justify your husband dismissing your feelings but might explain why he does.

I don’t know how you approached him with the subject but perhaps try explaining that this is how you feel and that he might no be doing it intentionally, but it upsets you. You are letting him know so you don’t feel upset and he can reassure you.

I hope things get better soon.

Aww It’s really sad you feel like that and I feel for you.
I know it sounds like a cliche advice but communication is a key, tell your husband that you need to have a conversation with him about how you feel without him responding defensive or angry and then just tell him everything you written here - you feel lonely even with him by your side, emotionally “hungry” and maybe ask for a reason? Is there anything he wants from this relationship? Good luck !