Have I made the right decision?

[Ohshitiveturnedintomymother]

So I’m due soon and due to a difficult birth and traumatic time last time (lots of interventions then emcs) Ive got the option for how I give birth this time. I thought I wanted an elcs but have been wavering and have now booked a section for 41 weeks with the option of a natural delivery of info into labour earlier.
This has been stressing me out recently as I just don’t know how I want to give birth!! I don’t want to regret not trying as this is probably my last pregnancy but equally should I just take a calm, planned section over a potentially unknown birth?
My concerns are that i would have to be monitored throughout which would mean no water birth, although I think I’d be allowed early labour but not active labour in there, and that I’ll end up being interventioned (not a word I know) again and feel helpless.
However, I was shaken up by the emcs last time and I did have trouble feeding after and don’t really want major surgery if I can avoid it.

This is a seriously rambling post but I just need some reassurance that it will be ok one way or the other.

Hey! Personally think I would rather opt for the calmer, planned route of a section then have the anxiety of a vaginal birth that may not go as well as hoped.

X

Same as pp.
a planned section is a lot calmer than an emergency one.

Have you spoken to your midwife, is it likely the intervention would be needed again (e.g pre eclampsia or something that is likely to happen again)
Every birth is different so it’s possible it might not happen again, but on the other hand an elective section might help you prepare and it not be such a shock after?

Agreed. Much easier to plan arrangements ahead for your other child too.

Balls. Maybe I have made the wrong call here...I just want the opportunity to have a ‘proper’ birth if I can.

The consultants haven’t been that helpful tbh, only phone calls and a different one each time so no continuity for me and no relay of info to my lovely midwife, I’ve had to do that instead.

I’ve got midwife this week so I might talk to her again, but basically my due date is looming and I HAVE to make a decision

Baby was back to back last time and I dilated to 9cm then labour stopped so the consultant said I should be ok this time

Whilst you could have the natural birth you want, how upset would be if you needed intervention again?
I think the worry of not knowing would make me ill and I’d take the planned section just to know that we both would be ok and not have to go through trauma again.
It’s a hard decision to make with not much time left!
Deffo worth a chat with MW, I hope your happy with what you end up deciding on.

I had an EMCS followed by an ELCS. Part of me does feel sad that I'll never experience a "normal" birth (in fact I've never even gone into labour!) but my ELCS was such a positive experience that I don't regret my decision. & when I read about birth experiences (most of which seem at least partially traumatic) I'm even more glad I made that decision.

Also the recovery from an elcs is putting me off, we’ve moved really rurally and I need the car to get around and the thought of not being able to pick up dc1 and carry them etc when they are already going to be upset by a new baby might finish me off.

I do worry about interventions though and having a worse birth this time around. I feel that I needed the decision to be made for me as I don’t feel qualified to make it

I had a very traumatic first birth. Pre eclampsia, induction, failed epidural, finally after 4 days ended in emergency c section. Second child had an elective section and it was amazing. So calm and stress free. I couldn't shake the worry of the same happening again and wasn't particularly fussed that I wouldn't experience a natural delivery. Recovery was fine after the section

I am in the same position and have exactly the same reasoning as you.

At first I was 100% sure I would go down the ELCS route as I am really not fussed about never experiencing a "normal" birth and didn't want to go through all that again if it's just going to end up in a CS again.

But the closer it gets the more I remember that a csection is actually major surgery and I am not sure anymore about willingly choosing that. Same as you, I worry about the recovery time and not being fully there for DC1 as they try to adjust to a sibling already. We also live rurally and have no family nearby so it's not ideal.

I'm yet to discuss with consultant and get their advice but I remember my midwife after I had DC1 making a comment that as I had dilated to 5cms I should have no issue with a vaginal birth next time and should be relieved I wont need a csection again. So I imagine if you got to 9cms that's probably their reasoning as well.

All the best with your decision, it seems overwhelming now but Im sure once DC2 is here birth will just seem like a little bump in the road either way.

It does sound as if there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a vaginal delivery. Second and subsequent labours are generally much easier and a fair bit quicker than the first time round. I’d be tempted to go for a natural delivery but with the option to move to a LSCS earlier if you wanted/needed to. Sort of lower the threshold for moving to a section so that it wasn’t quite the rush/trauma of the first time. I’ve known lots of “emergency” LSCS that have been quite steady and peaceful if baby is happy.
I just get the vibe from your posts that this is something you want to try and might regret if you don’t. Ultimately it’s your choice though, of course. X

Hi OP, it is a really really difficult decision to make. I am in a similar situation with needing to make a decision regarding mode of birth and I am stumped. I had a normal birth last time but had a complication which makes ELCS an option this time. I am a midwife so have a bit more of an insight into this too. As you dilated to 9cm last time, your chances of a successful VBAC are high and you are also likely to dilate reasonably quickly if your baby is in a good position - I would recommend speaking to your midwife about optimal fetal positioning and practice this from 36 weeks. The position of baby can have a huge impact on labour. If you are wishing for a water birth, some units do offer these to women having a VBAC if they have a waterproof monitor so it could be worth asking about this.

Everyone has a different experience so what is right for one person, won't be right for the next so it is important that you base your decision on your feelings and not another persons experience. I think you have to ask yourself if you would be disappointed if you didn't try for a VBAC? There is no right or wrong answer to this. An ELCS is often a calmer and more predictable experience, however it is not without risk. I think your current plan of ELCS at 41/40 if you haven't laboured before is completely reasonable. You could even discuss with them having a lower threshold for a C/S if labour isn't progressing as planned if this would make you feel more comfortable. Or, if you feel that an ELCS is the correct decision for you, then maybe discuss bringing the date forwards by a week or so you don't go into labour beforehand.

@ stopchewingeverything thank you! It’s nice to hear from a midwife that you think I’m not being too daft, and it might work. I will discuss the possibility of moving my elcs forward if I start to get cold feet though, it’s nice to know the options are there.

And @Sophieandtiger good luck with your decision too! You sound exactly like me, I thought i was 100% elcs when I got pregnant/was thinking about it but the more time goes on the more I have wavered. I hope you make the decision that’s right for you and your little ones.