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Original poster

Wedding invite near due date

24 replies

MM1993 · 25/04/2021 23:51

I've been invited to a wedding 10 days before my due date - does anyone think it is silly for me to consider going ?

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Aquamarine1029 · 25/04/2021 23:53

Too much information is missing. How far away is the wedding? Obviously, if you have to travel, and depending how far, that changes things entirely.

DelilahTheParrot · 25/04/2021 23:57

How close are you, what are their expectations and do you want to go? Think you need to talk to the bride and groom. They’ll have restricted numbers and will have to pay per head even if someone drops out. What about (assuming it’s close to home - ridiculous idea to travel) you suggest maybe you go to ceremony and evening do but let her decide what to do about day time (which is where main costs are)?

Original poster
MM1993 · 26/04/2021 00:12

It's 14 miles away so in London traffic it's about 45 mins and as I can't drink will happily drive. I do want to go and would prefer to go to the daytime and evening but may also be very tired, especially as it'll be summer (august)

I'm a FTM so not really sure what I'll be feeling like closer to the time and if baby comes early then that will obviously change things. Just wondered what others in my situation would do and whether people would think i was crazy for considering it

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Original poster
MM1993 · 26/04/2021 00:12

@Aquamarine1029 @DelilahTheParrot ^^

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 26/04/2021 00:13

If you feel good definitely go. It's just a short drive so no issue. There's nothing crazy about going at all. I felt great at that stage in both of my pregnancies and would have happily gone.

Thegreymethod · 26/04/2021 00:37

I went to a work friends wedding days before my due date, didn't give it a second thought, if I'd had to travel very far I probably wouldn't have gone but or if I hadn't felt well enough, but other than that go for it! Last chance to see friends etc before the baby arrives.

MissMini · 26/04/2021 05:11

I went to a friends wedding 2 weeks before my due date - just took some comfy shoes for the evening reception! It was a good day :)

Zarinea · 26/04/2021 06:08

I would have been totally fine at a local wedding then, despite having DD at 39+1.

Just warn them that your plans might change last minute and make sure they won't strop if you suddenly can't make it.

ChocOrange1 · 26/04/2021 06:13

Its really hard to say. With my first baby I would have been absolutely fine to go, I was still at work a week before she was born. But with my second I would have had a 3 day old baby as she was 2 weeks early.

I would probably speak to the couple and let them know the situation and see what they would prefer. They might not want you to accept if there's a 50/50 chance you can't make it, and your space could be given to someone else - especially if the numbers are limited due to covid.

dotdashdashdash · 26/04/2021 06:17

We were invited to a wedding when I would have been 38+1. It was the opposite end of the country and we politely declined. It's a good job we did as DC2 came at 36+4 by c section.

I'd speak to the b&g and ask.if they'd rather you declined now or risk declining later or even risk taking a very new newborn.

DramaBanana1 · 26/04/2021 07:00

With my first I probably would’ve managed it although with this pregnancy absolutely not, my hips start to hurt just walking to our local shop and tiredness has come back with a vengeance. It’s difficult to predict how you’ll be feeling in August , I would be up front with them if you really want to go and just say you’ll do you’re best to go but there’s a chance you won’t be able to.

DramaBanana1 · 26/04/2021 07:00

Oh I 36 weeks so I’ve still 4 weeks to go!

annlee3817 · 26/04/2021 07:10

I went to an evening reception around thirty mins away when I was 40+3, I was only able to wear flip flops as my feet were swollen and only went for a couple of hours, but glad I did :) I did a hen night at 36 weeks an hour away, everyone is different though. I'd see how the bride and groom would feel if you dropped out at last minute and maybe offer up being an evening guest only if they're not happy with last min drop outs.

Chanel05 · 26/04/2021 07:13

It's fairly close, definitely go! As a first baby it's very likely that you will be overdue anyway. Pack your hospital bag and notes in the car anyway, wear flat shoes and aim to be home for 10pm, on the basis that if you went into labour the next day, you'll want to be well rested.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 26/04/2021 07:16

Go, have a great time.

Peaplant20 · 26/04/2021 07:28

In normal times I’d go but now I’d worry about getting covid that late on x

Doublechocolatetiffin · 26/04/2021 07:41

@Peaplant20

In normal times I’d go but now I’d worry about getting covid that late on x
This, admittedly I had my baby in Jan when covid was everywhere but we self isolated before the birth as I was really worried about my DH not being allowed with me during labour if we caught covid.
PerspicaciousGreen · 26/04/2021 09:08

On the day, assuming I was feeling OK, I'd definitely be happy to go in those circumstances. I'd make my husband drive (and not drink one drop) though, both in case I went into labour and just in case I found the whole thing really tiring and my feet swelled up and so on, and I'd bring all the hospital stuff.

However, it's possible that I'd have either had the baby (!!!) or not feel up to it, so I'd have a chat with the bride and groom and ask what's the absolute latest I can RSVP and would it be a disaster if I didn't make it on the day.

Original poster
MM1993 · 26/04/2021 09:34

Thank you everyone!! 🙂

OP posts:
Nat4392 · 26/04/2021 10:14

I’d speak to them before you accept. Obviously there is a chance you won’t be able to go and you don’t want them to be left with 2 spaces they have already paid for. So maybe they could have another couple as a back up in advance. Or just decline now due to the uncertainty.

notalwaysalondoner · 26/04/2021 10:21

I'd go. We have two invites within 2 weeks of the due date but both are 3+ hours drive away so sadly we'll have to decline.

One thing we will do though is ask the absolute latest they need confirmation by - for my wedding the only real deadline was the caterer who needed final numbers 10 days before, so it wasn't the 6+ weeks notice people normally ask for RSVPs that was the 'real' deadline, so to speak.

AegonT · 26/04/2021 10:27

I would accept. Most babies don't come more than one week early so the odds of attending are good. In my first pregnancy I would have been okay except I had massively swollen feet so would have wanted to hide them under the table in flat pumps. This time my feet are fine but I have SPD so still wouldn't manage dancing. I would only have one glass of champagne for the toasts. I would go home soon after the first dance as it would tiring.

DungeonKeeper · 26/04/2021 10:38

My first baby would have arrived by then! My second arrived the day before their due date so you just don’t know. I took my newborn to a wedding but you really need to speak to the b&g and see if they’re happy you letting them know last minute (or even if baby is allowed, don’t assume they are, weddings are funny things...).

Crabwoman · 26/04/2021 11:03

Yeah I'd go. Just mention that you are 10 days off your due date so you may have to drop out if something happens.

I had both my DC at 37 weeks though, so just make them aware! But I was fine, active and working until the day before.

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