Third trimester / Covid

[Decaffrappe1988]

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant and yesterday I had my first social event in my whole pregnancy so far. It was my Dads 60th in a local pub garden however as much as I wanted to socially distance, a lot of family came to congratulate me / touch bump / cuddle / kiss. It just kept happening.

I've played by every covid rule since finding out I was pregnant and I'm terrified about what could now be happening.

I know I couldn't have not gone today but we nearly lost my dad to a major heart attack last year and Ive barely seen him - I just didn't think people would want to hug me etc - let alone about 20 people!

Bless you it’s so hard because you can’t control what other people do. It’s very unlikely any of them had covid but personally I would avoid bigger groups going forward (I know you said you couldn’t for this particular event). If you’re in smaller groups they’re likely to be with your closest friends/ fam who you can explain that you need to social distance properly to xx

How were there 20 people there? Isn’t the limit 6?

@DicklessWonder pub garden, several booked tables. Family kept coming over to my table.

So not following rules then. Are they aware that they could be asymptomatic, and of the risks to women in late pregnancy? Or are they just selfish idiots who think they know better?

I’d be furious in your position (but I also wouldn’t have attended under those arrangements).

Let’s hope you’re not unlucky.

@DicklessWonder thanks for your kind words of wisdom. I lost my mother at ten years ago when I was 20, I nearly lost my Dad recently. What a fool I was to even go after not seeing him during my whole pregnancy and being stuck at home alone. I hope you're not ever an unlucky one either....

It’s not my fault that you decided you were going to break the rules.

Unfortunately, having been on the frontline for the last 14 months I’ve seen far too many who “thought it would be fine”, “missed my family” and “didn’t realise the risks”.

Presumably you didn’t say anything to the people who were hugging you either. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@DicklessWonder a round of applause for you. Aren't you great 👏

OP you have posted about being worried about people not socially distancing but then you've texted badly to a PP's comments / questions about the get together.

I understand why you wanted to see your family and chanced are everything will be fine but I think PP is just pointing out that you put yourself in a risky situation.

I think I would have backed away from the hugs in that situation and made it clear I was keeping a distance, especially after the first one or two times.

It’s really difficult @Decaffrappe1988 and I think it’s going to get harder as more people get vaccinated because they will think that they and all vulnerable people are now ‘safe’ when actually that isn’t quite the case and certainly isn’t for pregnant women who are so far mostly unvaccinated.

I think people will stop following the rules very soon, if not already, because of the perception that anyone that is at risk is already vaccinated (ie the over 50s).

I’ve chosen to get vaccinated even though I’m pregnant as the guidance has just changed. You could do that. Or you could just accept that people will invade your personal space and avoid them all - just meet with those closest to you and remind them in advance that you want to do it in a socially distanced way because of the risks for pregnant people.

OP I commented earlier but still following. Some practical advice that I thought of could be - immediately when people come over get in there first and say ‘hi, I won’t hug you because I’m at a higher risk being pregnant!’ Like you might if you had a cold (hi I won’t hug you because I’ve got a cold!), because it’s quite hard to sort of back away once someone has already gone in for a hug, I would find that too awkward myself. If you can’t do that then I would limit myself to meeting with people who you feel comfortable telling in advance that you will need to maintain distance etc. Also another idea would be to get yourself some lateral flow tests to do twice a week - it won’t stop you getting covid but at least you will know if you do. I have to say like a few others here I personally wouldn’t have gone but it’s done now! Not long to go until we can all have big meet ups in the summer.

Also OP you could just see your Dad on his own next time.

People are not careful unfortunately and don't keep enough distance, family or not.

I think there maybe should have been more discussion with your dad about risk before the even was even booked.

We had family arrange similar recently for my brothers birthday and I made it very clear that I wouldn’t be going to a pub garden as I didn’t think suitable distances would be maintained and at 34 weeks I thought the risk was too high.

We met up as a group of 6 in a garden afterwards where we could all sit further apart to enjoy the evening and exchange presents.

It’s hard, I can see why you wanted to be there for your dad. I also think you might need to get better at putting your foot down about what is and isn’t okay.

@Decaffrappe1988, don’t let the unpleasant Covid police scare you. At the moment there is very little Covid about in most parts of the UK (not sure where you are). The chances of someone at the party having Covid, and passing it on, outdoors, is really very, very small. Also, given that it was a 60th birthday, presumably many of the guests will have had at least one vaccination - that not only protects them, but also provides significant protection against passing it on. All in all you are overwhelmingly unlikely to have caught Covid.

You can’t change the past, so snarky comments are particularly unhelpful. It’s probably better to avoid hugging and kissing outside your household in the final weeks of your pregnancy, but please don’t let these unnecessary fears bring you any more anxiety and stress. What you did was perfectly natural and understandable and extremely unlikely to have any negative consequences at all.

@DicklessWonder

So not following rules then. Are they aware that they could be asymptomatic, and of the risks to women in late pregnancy? Or are they just selfish idiots who think they know better?

I’d be furious in your position (but I also wouldn’t have attended under those arrangements).

Let’s hope you’re not unlucky.

This poster has a valid point like it or not. Being 30 weeks pregnant your classed as extremely vulnerable. If you want to see your Dad - and no one has stated that this is wrong so not sure why op is getting so defensive - do it 121 and outside.

@FatAnneTheDealer - can u cite the evidence stating people who are vaccinated won't spread it?

I know someone who gave birth alone yesterday in the hospital. Herself and her husband had been in contact with people who unfortunately tested positive last weekend so they were in isolation. So he wasn’t allowed at the birth.

I know a lot of people who are currently pregnant in the UK and don’t seem to be beinf very careful. It’s almost like they don’t believe there are risks? Or consequences if you test positive.

OP I’m sorry people couldn’t keep their distance from you. It’s obvious you didn’t expect them to come close. Maybe best to see your dad alone in the future.

@Rubyrecka I didn’t say that people who are vaccinated won’t spread the virus. I said that vaccination provides significant protection against transmission. The evidence is growing. A large study in Scotland, for instance, showed that transmission is reduced between at least 30-54% (at least - it may very well be more). Why do you think the government is now telling you to get the vaccine to protect yourself “and others”.

That combined with the fact that the latest ONS calculation is that only 1 in 610 people in the UK has the virus makes it, as I said, extremely unlikely that anyone gave the OP Covid at her father’s 60th.

Stop scare mongering.

@FatAnneTheDealer

but also provides significant protection against passing it on. All in all you are overwhelmingly unlikely to have caught Covid.

You've completely implied that. There is no evidence yet to say they vaccine stops transmission. Your talking tripe. Educate yourself first before you start posting misinformation on the internet.

publichealthmatters.blog.gov.uk/2021/02/26/covid-19-why-continuing-to-follow-the-guidance-after-being-vaccinated-is-so-important/

And here's a STUDY showing the effects of covid on pregnant women to back up.

www.ox.ac.uk/news/2021-04-23-research-uncovers-high-risk-pregnant-women-covid-19

Why do you think the government is now telling you to get the vaccine to protect yourself “and others”.

Alongside messages that social distancing and masks are still key.......

@DicklessWonder those words were reference to my statement that the vaccine significantly reduces transmission.

You can’t catch Covid from someone who doesn’t have it or has such a low viral load that they cannot transmit it even if you don’t socially distance.

It is a simple fact that, given the low levels of virus currently in most of the UK, the high levels of vaccination, and that the event took place entirely outdoors, where transmission is rare, the OP is extremely unlikely to have caught Covid at her father’s party, even if people were a little lax in following the rules.

Any other conclusion is unhelpful scare mongering.

You can’t catch Covid from someone who doesn’t have it or has such a low viral load that they cannot transmit it even if you don’t socially distance.

@FatAnneTheDealer

I'm wondering how someone would actually deduce this in a social setting considering the a symptomatic nature of some covid cases.

You keep saying scaremongering. Your wrong. It's about taking responsibility for your own health and the babies health, knowing the risks and then making an educated decision with the information provided - even more important with pregnant ladies 28 weeks and over - not by some poster on mumsnet with an opinion.

@Rubyrecka, it’s done. The OP can’t change it. My opinion is based on evidence. All the evidence suggests that the OP will be absolutely fine. She is extremely unlikely to have caught Covid, however much you and a few others might like to scold her and scare her.

@FatAnneTheDealer

It's your opinion which isn't based on anything as you haven't backed anything up with any scientific evidence.

A friend of mine caught COVID at 34 weeks pregnant and barely had more than a sore throat. I know that doesn't mean if you caught it the same would happen to you, but don't let people make you believe that just because you're heavily pregnant you will automatically be very ill from it.

@Rubyrecka: I have quoted the Office of National Statistics that only 1 in 610 people in the UK currently has the virus. If you are too lazy to find the link yourself here it is: www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/conditionsanddiseases/articles/coronaviruscovid19roundup/2020-03-26

That FACT is highly relevant to the likelihood of the OP being exposed.

Here is just ONE scientific article about how the vaccination reduces transmission. There are many and also it has been widely reported in the media and accepted by the government and by the European Centre for Disease Control and Prevention.
www.publichealthscotland.scot/news/2021/march/covid-19-vaccine-linked-to-a-reduction-in-transmission/

That FACT makes it highly likely that an asymptomatic vaccinated person would make transmission to the OP significantly less likely, even in the unlikely event of the party involving the 1 in 610 persons with the virus.

The party took place outdoors, where according to Professor Chris Whitty, the government’s chief medical advisor, transmission is “massively reduced”. I’ll leave you to google that.

If you combine those 3 scientific facts:
-little virus circulating in the community,
-probable vaccination of many of the guests, and
-outdoor event,
it is clear that it is extremely unlikely that the OP will have caught Covid at her father’s party. Telling her otherwise is scolding and scaremongering.

Please don’t worry, OP.

I feel your pain. Am 34wks pregnant now and people seem to have no clue or care that I'm vulnerable but unvaccinated. I honestly think most the population believe every single vulnerable person has been vaccinated - that isn't true for 99% of pregnant women (i.e. unless you were CEV or on front-line you wouldn't have been offered vaccine).

Now the JCVI has said pregnant women can get the vaccine... so again, people assume I'll have popped along and got my jab. What they fail to understand is that I'm only able to access the jab WITH MY AGE GROUP. As I'm only 31 my age group is quite a few weeks/month away from being called up yet. A few times I've spoken with colleagues etc. about why I'm trying to be cautious and mentioned it's due to being higher risk as I'm pregnant and in third trimester and they seem to think I must be lying because 'if you were actually vulnerable you'd have been vaccinated already'. //Sigh//

Anyway... advice is to keep to much smaller groups. I've been out to eat at cafe (outside obviously) and we did go to a pub garden the other week, but I've only done this with my household and made sure our table is distanced etc. DH is a teacher (had Covid in March, caught from school) and DS is at school so I'm exposed regardless, but I do have a personal responsibility to try and limit exposure as much as I can. It's only a few weeks until baby arrives anyway.

@MM1993 I'm concerned about falling ill in pregnancy obviously. But I realise it's likely to be mild anyway. What I worry about more is me/DH catching or being exposed to a positive case and that resulting in me having a c-section (I'm having ELCS) totally alone and DH missing the birth.