Loneliness in pregnancy

[SFA21]

I moved away from my family to where my boyfriend is from a couple of years ago. So all my friends and family live a good 5/6 hours away. I didn't mind at the time because I would do a lot with my partner and we'd go out with his friends and their girlfriends - or I would go out with just the girls. Since being pregnant I've barely spoken to the girls and any invites since lockdown lifted haven't arrived (I know I can't drink but would be nice to just sit in a beer garden and have a day out at least). I work from home so don't interact with anyone on a daily basis and I just feel so lonely. My partner doesn't go out much so when he does I don't say anything but I just end up sat at home so lonely. I feel so awkward about it and don't know how to put myself out there to meet new people? I tried to book NCT for this reason but it's all been moved online so I feel like it's not going to be the same. I just feel really sad a lot of the time.
Don't really know why I'm posting this but maybe to see does anyone else feel like this? Is it worse because of my hormones?

I also feel really lonely but for different reasons. Haven’t really wanted to go to restaurants/ pubs etc since they opened again and my mum got coronavirus a couple of weeks ago so haven’t seen my parents either. Don’t feel comfortable doing that much which I know is over cautious but feeling very lonely!

I know how you feel. I'm also WFH and haven't seen anyone since lockdown. Family isn't around, baby groups all closed, no dp, and I'm not from here originally so no friend group. I do have a dc and due with my second in the summer so that's a good distraction. Is this your first baby?

I'm a sahm with a military husband. Most of my days I have barely any adult contact and I used to feel lonely when we had less children. Now we have baby 6 on the way and a dog so it really doesn't bother me anymore. Most of my friends stopped inviting me to stuff when we had our 1st, you realise how much people value you when you become a parent. Same goes for covid really, the few friends I have left have broken rules to see other friends but I've only spoken to them via text in over a year and one tried to discourage me from dropping christmas present round her house which I found very off.
I think you need to find contentment in your own company to be happy and then have the option of friends if you feel like it.

@Peaplant20 so sorry your mum has covid hope she gets better soon! it's a horrible feeling being lonely isn't it - I just don't know what to do with myself in the day

@georgarina it's really hard not being from the area I feel like a bit of an outsider! Yeh it's my first baby

@Chelyanne I used to be fine by myself and would take myself out for lunch, go shopping and for walks by myself etc but since being pregnant I just feel more and more lonely I hate it! We just got a puppy but he can't go for walks just yet, and even when he can I'm a bit wary of taking him by myself with all the dog thefts going on - but having him definitely makes it a bit easier to be at home on my own

hi SFA where abouts are you? You sound so lonely, have you thought about texting the other girls and seeing if they want to meet up for a coffee or drinks - even though you’re not drinking ? It may be that they don’t realise they are leaving you out or do you feel you don’t know them well enough to suggest it? Maybe get ur OH to ask another couple to go for drinks one weekend afternoon so it breaks ur day up, I know it can be so lonely especially as we all work from home and dont even see work colleagues .

For what it's worth I did an online NCT course and it was much better than I expected! The others were still fairly local, we've got an in person reunion planned for after the babies are here and there's an active WhatsApp group since the course ended.

@Cherryblossom2021 I have tried messaging them but don't get a response or they plan something and then cancel last minute. I feel so pathetic! I've spoken to my boyfriend about it a lot and he does try and organise things for us to do but they never seem to happen. I feel like maybe I'm the problem but not sure why

@Semele5069 oh really! That's reassuring to hear, hopefully mine is still good and I make some friends

@SFA21 never feel you are the problem your a strong woman having a baby, when are you due? It’s a shame we are living in a covid world right now and you can’t meet others in your position at anti natal appointments. Don’t feel disheartened about the girls seemingly ignoring you they’re not worth the energy don’t let them live rent free in your head .

I know you feel lonely right now but try not to feel disheartened. I have a 6 month old, born smack bang in the middle of the pandemic and after moving to a new area i literally had no friends or contact with anyone other than my partner fand his family for a whole year then when i took my baby to the park the other day a random mum struck up conversation with me and now we're friends. Maybe try the app peanut? Could meet up with some other soon to be mums. So many of us are feeling how you feel and want nothing more than to have a good group and friends to hang out with 💗

Sorry you are feeling lonely OP. I think hormones will be playing a part in how you feel which I don't love to say as I feel things can be minimised by "blaming" hormones and it doesn't make it any less real. But it is probably amplifying feelings you had under the surface anyway.
Pregnancy can be isolating in itself too.
The positive thing is though that you do have family, be it they are a few hours away. Maybe try having a zoom call with them once a week or set up a zoom quiz with the whole family at some point? Lockdown will be easing soon fingers crossed and I don't know how far in your pregnancy you are but hopefully by the time you have bubba you can get out and meet other mums at mum and baby groups in person which will help.
Sorry I can't help much more than that but feel free to DM me if you get super lonely and just need to chat to a stranger. Sometimes it helps just to talk x

Well said @lilymay555
@SFA21 DM any of us were women we can chat for England!!