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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I'm 33 weeks and sex just isn't happening

19 replies

LuckySalem · 12/11/2007 22:31

Has anyone got any ideas (without being obscene obviously)

I've found myself not being massively driven towards sex for a while anyway but now I am and I'm too pregnant to do anything.

Plus its been so long since last time that it's got quite tight and painful down there.

Thanks in advance

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 13/11/2007 08:31

If you don't feel like having sex, you don't have to, you know.

If you want to get back in the habit, you want to (ahem) take a solo flight first, mabye? Or lots and lots of foreplay, with not so much emphasis on intercourse.

Is your relationship ok?

feedmenow · 13/11/2007 08:47

Luckysalem, when you say you're too pregnant to do anything do you mean position wise only or that you're too "cumbersome" to be in a position of authority, i.e. you on top?
Basically, if you're up for it then you have the you on top choice (although as mentioned, you have to do most of the work!), doggy style (which I know some people don't like at the best of times, let alone when pregnant!) or spoons. Spoons is quite good; gentle, etc.
As for the other issue of being a bit "unused" for a while, as NQC said, plenty of foreplay, maybe even invest in some KY to help out.
I warn you, it can be quite funnt because you forget you have a huge bump and that you can't position yourself like you used to! Be prepared to have a giggle!
xx

Lateasusual · 13/11/2007 09:31

Think most important thing is to relax and not worry too much if it's not working because that will make it hurt more. Try on a Saturday morning when you've got lots of time for foreplay. I found a really nice relaxing position where bump didn't get in way was to lie on back at 90 degrees to husband (him on his side) and loop legs over him. He had to do most of work though!

susiemj · 13/11/2007 10:39

Hi Lucky - you're getting some good tips here! I just wanted to say that, after having been quite proud of having kept up a sex life through pregnancy illness, at 31 weeks I'm beginning to lose interest. Not only has my drive gone down but it's really awkward now. Last time I went on top I nearly crushed DH's blessed private parts! Not the best thing to make either of us feel sexy.

So! While I'm hoping to keep it going I do empathise with you. It's not the easiest thing for me at the moment either.

chunkypudding · 13/11/2007 10:52

Hey Lucky... think you are quite lucky actually, I'm nearly 33 weeks and literally can't remember when I last had a shag!!!!

My dp has been weirded out ever since he saw the baby on the scan, says it feels like there's 3 people involved and is just not into it - which to be honest I understand.

still very affectionate and loving, though it does seem starnge sometimes, this is the longest I've gone without since I started having sex!

Now though I feel so big and lumpy, and my belly is sooo wriggly, that I'm really just as happy with a cuddle.

It will be fun rediscovering each other.... eventually!!!

Original poster

LuckySalem · 13/11/2007 17:44

positions are a nightmare,

We had a go yesterday and he either crushed my belly, (didn't realise how big it was till yesterday) or I hurt him haha.

We're pretty relaxed normally anyway and there's always alot going on before hand so thats not a big deal.

I don't really feel up for it just cos i'm soooo big BUT I wanna cos its nice for the closeness. Hugs just don't hit the spot lol

OP posts:

SHEENA1 · 13/11/2007 18:16

i Know what u mean by the tightness i am a very sexually active person like i cant go without but i am 25 weeks pregnant and even though i get it all the time i am getting tighter n it hurts more is this normal lol

MrsMcJnr · 16/11/2007 14:48

Luckysalem - I'm up for it but sadly DH doesn't feel the same and hasn't for a while now like Chunkypudding's man, he is loving and protective and sweet but I just don't do it for him/ or the thought of the bump doesn't right now.

sweetkitty · 16/11/2007 14:52

My DP is the same when I have a big bump, all loving protective etc but doesn't want to have sex that often which is fine by me. Also I get SPD in pregnancy and he sees the state of me trying to get off the sofa or up for a pee in the middle of the night and thinks there no chance I'm even going to ask her - bless him.

sleepycat · 16/11/2007 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chunkypudding · 16/11/2007 16:02

thanks Mrs Mc and Sweetkitty... you have made me feel like less of a freak! always seems to be the women who don't want it while their partners are generally gagging for it... wasn't really helping with my current self-esteem issues! although the situation is fine by me I do sometimes worry that he'll never fancy me again! (brave slightly wobbly)

MrsMcJnr · 16/11/2007 16:23

'Course he will Chunky I think the bump is more off putting than we are, they are worried about hurting the baby I think one of my friend's told me yesterday that her DH who wouldn't come near here for the last 3 months of pregnancy was a real pest 2 weeks after the birth and she didn't dare refuse

chunkypudding · 16/11/2007 16:28

so there is hope

MrsMcJnr · 17/11/2007 18:37

Ladies sorry if this is TMI but as we had been discussing it I thought I would report that DH and I actually did the deed this morning I was very happy and had a great time and although DH told me it felt good physically, he said it is just too weird for him mentally and he doesn't think it'll be happening again whislt I have a bump - shame

MoominMum · 17/11/2007 23:25

Happy to report that we're still at it - if not exactly like teenagers - sense of humour is a must and it helps to be told often that you're still wee and sexy even if you've got fat ankles and get stuck on your back like a stranded sheep!

I'm just starting to worry about whether we might trigger something and if there's a time when we ought to calm it down? Have trusted my body to tell me what to do about everything else but not sure it'll give me a straight answer on this one!

Ambi · 18/11/2007 09:49

Chunky, mines the same, feel a bit left out actually, but he's pretty fatherly protective of LO already and doesn't want to hurt it. I'm just worried I'll not feel like after baby's born and he'll be raring to go! Good on you gals who are still getting it though

LOVEMYMUM · 19/11/2007 19:33

I'm 25 weeks and I think I'm going to give sex a rest until after the baby arrives - can't find a comfortable position - so will stock up on KY jelly for hubbie and a helping hand .

LOVEMYMUM · 19/11/2007 19:35

Poor hubbie - he finds me very sexy now with a big bum and big boobs - I nearly suffocated him with my boobs last time i got on top!!

Original poster

LuckySalem · 19/11/2007 19:41

LOVEMYMUM - I have that problem, Got 40F boobs at the moment!! and the damn things keep growing.

Me and DP have given up on the whole full act thing now and have decided to just be loving in ways that aren't deathdefying

He has a problem as well that he finally admitted to me the other day. He doesn't like the idea that we're having a threesome and what happens if waters break while I'm on top and bla bla bla. Have told him no worries and we're happy again but made me laugh that it took him this long to tell me what I kinda worked out anyway.

OP posts:

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